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Dial H For Hero

(2,971 posts)
Sat Mar 6, 2021, 03:58 AM Mar 2021

My father passed away a couple of hours ago.

As soon as the phone rang at 12:30 at night, I suspected it, and then saw it was from his care facitility. He'd had an ankle sore that that had gotten very bad in the last few weeks, and actually went to the hospital around a week ago, where they discovered it was infected with MRSA. He went back to the care facitlilty yesterday, and when I spoke to him a few hours ago I was shocked at how weak he sounded.

My mother passed away early last year on the exact date their 60th anniversary. Between missing her and not being able to have any visits because of COVID, the last year was very hard on him.

Woke my sister up to tell her, emailed all my friends and family. It's going to be a rough week.

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My father passed away a couple of hours ago. (Original Post) Dial H For Hero Mar 2021 OP
My condolences on your loss. As time moves on focus on the good memories that you have of them. CentralMass Mar 2021 #1
Oh, I Am So Very Sorry DarthDem Mar 2021 #2
My heart goes out to you. multigraincracker Mar 2021 #3
I am so very sorry. I've been there as well. Rhiannon12866 Mar 2021 #4
I wish peace to you and all your family, madaboutharry Mar 2021 #5
So sorry. My thoughts are with you. Cicada Mar 2021 #6
I have been consoled in the loss of family and friends by the recognition . . . Journeyman Mar 2021 #7
Thank you (and everyone else). That's a wonderful thought. Dial H For Hero Mar 2021 #11
So sorry for your loss Generic Other Mar 2021 #8
Condolences Dial H sarge43 Mar 2021 #9
Hugs to you and your family Freddie Mar 2021 #10
I am so sorry for you. It must be very hard. tblue37 Mar 2021 #12
So sorry. Duppers Mar 2021 #13
My similar experience. PoindexterOglethorpe Mar 2021 #14
Very sorry for your loss. ancianita Mar 2021 #15
I hope you handle it better than I have been. BigmanPigman Mar 2021 #16
You know, it's funny how tall a shadow your dad casts on your life. PatrickforB Mar 2021 #18
I'm sorry for your loss. May your father be blessed with eternal rest in PatrickforB Mar 2021 #17
... MiHale Mar 2021 #19
My heart goes out to you in this sad hour. To lose both parents in such Tanuki Mar 2021 #20
Very sorry what you are going through. Take care JohnSJ Mar 2021 #21
❤️ ✿❧🌿❧✿ ❤️ Lucinda Mar 2021 #22
I'm so sorry. It's hard when both parents are gone. Maraya1969 Mar 2021 #23
I'm so sorry for your loss. ms liberty Mar 2021 #24
Peace be with you and your family. mobeau69 Mar 2021 #25
Condolences on the loss of your beloved father. gademocrat7 Mar 2021 #26
💕 diehardblue Mar 2021 #27
My deepest condolences for you loss Soph0571 Mar 2021 #28
so very sorry... markie Mar 2021 #29
Very sorry for your loss Just_Vote_Dem Mar 2021 #30
I'm so sorry for you loss wendyb-NC Mar 2021 #31
so sorry for your loss. peace. essaynnc Mar 2021 #32
Very sorry snowybirdie Mar 2021 #33
I'm so sorry. Blue_playwright Mar 2021 #34
Deepest condolences SheltieLover Mar 2021 #35
My deepest condolences on your loss. sinkingfeeling Mar 2021 #36
I am sorry for your loss. brer cat Mar 2021 #37
I'm so sorry louslobbs Mar 2021 #38
I am so very sorry for your loss. Please know that your DU family is here for you. niyad Mar 2021 #39
Condolences to your family + take care luckone Mar 2021 #40
They can go downhill so fast. My condolences. N/t TexasBushwhacker Mar 2021 #41
So very sorry to hear the sad news. NurseJackie Mar 2021 #42
My thanks again for so many kind thoughts and words. Dial H For Hero Mar 2021 #43
So sorry.... Trueblue Texan Mar 2021 #44
Thank you so much. Dial H For Hero Mar 2021 #45

multigraincracker

(34,126 posts)
3. My heart goes out to you.
Sat Mar 6, 2021, 04:08 AM
Mar 2021

Lost my dad 14 years ago. I felt a lot of quilt, thinking I could have something. I ask the doctor if there was anything I could have done. He told me no, your dad died of old age, not kidney failure. His words really helped me. I still miss him every day.

Rhiannon12866

(222,843 posts)
4. I am so very sorry. I've been there as well.
Sat Mar 6, 2021, 04:09 AM
Mar 2021

Hang in there and know that you were there as much as possible. And be sure to take care of yourself, too.

madaboutharry

(41,371 posts)
5. I wish peace to you and all your family,
Sat Mar 6, 2021, 04:09 AM
Mar 2021

and to all those who cared for him and loved him.

Losing a parent is so hard.

May his memory be a blessing.

Journeyman

(15,150 posts)
7. I have been consoled in the loss of family and friends by the recognition . . .
Sat Mar 6, 2021, 04:26 AM
Mar 2021

that though they have passed I retain my memories, for truly, the only substitute for love is memory.

And should you find one day the memories become sparse, recall that the departed are best remembered if thought of in a context. In other words, think not of them but of specific incidents and occasions you shared with them, and in the memory of those seemingly mundane acts the life and love of those absent and missed will spring to your mind unbidden and remain with you untarnished by time’s passing.

 

Dial H For Hero

(2,971 posts)
11. Thank you (and everyone else). That's a wonderful thought.
Sat Mar 6, 2021, 04:36 AM
Mar 2021

One memory that comes to mind immediately (I'm not sure why) is when we were river rafting in Costa Rica about ten years ago and he fell out of the raft. The river we were on was actually quite calm, he just stumbled and went into the water. No harm done and he was laughing as he swam to the nearby shore.

Just thinking on that made me feel slightly better.

I'm also reminded of a quote from (of all things) the recent series "WandaVision" on Disney+ from a week ago, when Vision says, "What is grief, if not love persevering?"

Freddie

(9,709 posts)
10. Hugs to you and your family
Sat Mar 6, 2021, 04:33 AM
Mar 2021

I had a similar experience, the 3 am phone call about my dad. Both my parents had long and difficult elder years. A friend, whose mother died at age 100 after a similar journey, told me some words of wisdom: don’t remember them as the sick, cantankerous 90-something. Remember them as the vital healthy person they once were. Treasure those memories.

Duppers

(28,248 posts)
13. So sorry.
Sat Mar 6, 2021, 04:39 AM
Mar 2021

This must be terribly painful for you. Tell us more about him and the circumstances of his death when you're feeling up to it. And take care of yourself.

for your father.


PoindexterOglethorpe

(26,730 posts)
14. My similar experience.
Sat Mar 6, 2021, 04:40 AM
Mar 2021

On December 29 last year I got a call from a man identifying himself as Officer Brian (I never did catch his last name) from the Tucson police department, and I knew immediately why he was calling. Fortunately my sister was staying with me because I'd had a heart attack a week earlier. so I put Officer Brian on speaker phone. He told us that our brother who lived in Tucson had passed away. Our brother had been in declining health for some 20 years, so the news was sad, but not entirely unexpected.

I'm telling you this as a way of saying I understand. These things are not easy. I hope your sister and all the rest of your family rally around you. Even when a death is expected, the actual passing is a shock, I know. I can only offer this.

Even though we don't know each other, I'll say this. I love you and I wish you well.

BigmanPigman

(52,308 posts)
16. I hope you handle it better than I have been.
Sat Mar 6, 2021, 05:06 AM
Mar 2021

My dad died out of the blue two years ago so it was a shock but the passing of time hasn't helped me so far.

PatrickforB

(15,114 posts)
18. You know, it's funny how tall a shadow your dad casts on your life.
Sat Mar 6, 2021, 05:18 AM
Mar 2021

My own father died 39 years ago, and not a day passes when I don't think of him at least once.

PatrickforB

(15,114 posts)
17. I'm sorry for your loss. May your father be blessed with eternal rest in
Sat Mar 6, 2021, 05:16 AM
Mar 2021

perpetual light, and may your family be blessed with the memory of his love.

Tanuki

(15,358 posts)
20. My heart goes out to you in this sad hour. To lose both parents in such
Sat Mar 6, 2021, 06:11 AM
Mar 2021

a short space of time must be very tough, on top of the general stress of the pandemic. Please take good care of yourself in the days ahead. Your DU family is here for you at all times. ❤

wendyb-NC

(3,842 posts)
31. I'm so sorry for you loss
Sat Mar 6, 2021, 07:43 AM
Mar 2021

Take care of yourself, rest, reflect, spend time with your loved ones, I will hold you all in the light, to find comfort and well being in the midst of all you've been through. Peace.

 

Dial H For Hero

(2,971 posts)
45. Thank you so much.
Wed Mar 24, 2021, 09:37 AM
Mar 2021

I arranged for a service yesterday (he'll be buried at Ft. Logan), today I'll contact the Navy so he can have military honors. I still need to got to the post office (they give flags for the funerals of veterans).

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