Dad saw the gastroenterologist this week

[MissMillie]

The doctor reviewed the cat-scan and said that he has 2 masses on his pancreas: one near the top and one near the bottom. While he cannot say for sure that the masses are cancerous (that would require an endoscopic biopsy) he did say that whenever he's seen this before it has NEVER been good. The doctor added that if it is cancer, the next step would be a surgery that would be quite dangerous. He said that he would expect that even a healthy 40-year old would have a difficult time surviving this surgery.

Dad is deciding whether or not he wants to go through any more tests. I am sure that his biggest concern is being away from Mom. Mom has Alzheimer's Disease and my dad is her primary care-giver. Given that the next step after a confirmed diagnosis would be a procedure that would almost certainly kill him, he doesn't see much point.

I've spent considerable time worrying about Mom since her diagnosis that I feel pretty blind-sided at the prospects of losing Dad.

I realize that at my age I had to expect to lose my parents at some point, and I guess on some level I did expect it, but I'm still not ready. I'm in my mid-50s and have been blessed to still have both of my parents all this time. We've been "losing" Mom gradually for a while. Now I'm facing the prospect of losing Dad too.

I'm not ready.

I'm heartbroken.

[Atticus]

1. I have lost both of my wonderful parents. The pain I felt was crippling for a short

time, but eventually it began to ease. Today, I can smile when the spring flowers remind me of Mom or a sunset reminds me of Dad.

Know that because you were blessed with such parents, you will survive.

[Siwsan]

2. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy

I was only 46 when my father died, after he was misdiagnosed with MS, when he actually had a brain tumor. I also lost my mother to Alzheimer's. Dad was only 71 and Mom was 87.

Barely a day goes by when I don't wish my Dad was just a phone call away. He could figure out a great solution to any problem I ever encountered. And I kick myself, daily, for not paying closer attention to how my Mom made some of her wonderful baked goods. I figure that as long as they are in my thoughts, they are still around me.

I know you will give them a lifetime full of love, in the time you have left, with them.

[MFM008]

3. So sorry

🌹😢

[Ohiogal]

4. I'm so sorry MissMillie

You seem like such a good person. I know you'll get through this. Please know there are DUers out there like me who wish you all the best. It's rough. I lost both parents years ago, one went quickly and unexpected, the other one lingered on in pain and misery and some mental issues for years. Either way is extremely tough. Wishing you strength to get through this.

[iamateacher]

5. My mother has dementia

She is managed at home, but neighbors are complaining. It is a tough situation. Hope you and Dad can remain strong and loving.

[3Hotdogs]

6. Not what you were asking --- and yes, I'm sorry for your bad news.

While there is time for your father, has he, or will you visit an elder law attorney? You are going to face a burden with your mom. Prepare emotionally as best you can but also try to prepare for future legal difficulties.

Also, if either of your parents are veterans, get in touch with your local V.A. office as soon as you can.

Again, I'm sorry for your sad news.

[MissMillie]

7. we did all this about a year ago

we've protected their assets and have designated members of the family to act as advocates and such.

[OregonBlue]

8. I'm. So sorry. I lost both of my parents within a couple of years and it is devestating.

Sounds like this next year is going to be absolute hell but if you can hang in there and stay sane, its so worth the last time you will have with them. Let us know how you are holding up.

[lark]

9. As someone who has lost both her parents, i grieve for you.

Praying for strength and peace for you and your family.