Embarking on this terrible journey

[Randomthought]

My husband went to a neurologist today. It took two months to get an appointment. 30 minutes later " There is something going on with him". Appointments were scheduled until the end of April 2025 to get a final diagnosis.
30 grand gone to scammers, having to transfer all of our money into a separate account, and all the little day to day issues.
Any advice appreciated. I will always treat him with respect because it is not his fault.

[Walleye]

1. Good luck, I hope you can stay strong in the face of all this. You obviously care.

[Randomthought]

2. Thanks

It helps that someone recognizes the issue

[Scrivener7]

3. I am so sorry. Only advice I have is that you can't do it all yourself.

Find a way to get moments away and use any respite care that is available. Your health, mental and physical, is crucial for the well being of yourself, of course, but also for his continued good care. It may feel selfish to carve out time for yourself as this progresses, but it benefits him as much as you.

[Randomthought]

4. It's hard

I have made one hard and fast rule. Wednesday are mine. No appointments on Wednesday.
If I have one day a week with no appointments, I can find a caregiver if necessary take care of myself

[Scrivener7]

5. That's excellent. Hang in there.

[Backseat Driver]

6. Do you trust the neurologist's and/or technician's diagnostics? Will your dear husband accept them?

Little as I know of the situation, I'd always advise an independent second opinion regarding spousal mental health issues such as yours, especially when referred by/to someone specific. Lately, there seems to be a lot of corruption diagnosing many other progressive and autoimmune issues that have neurological ramifications as well as cancers and long-term unnecessary treatments. Mental psychological/psychiatric issues could also be at play. It's shocking, but scammers come in white coats too! Investigators never seem to catch such medical fraudsters until they rack up millions in claims, one at a time. You sound like you are supportive of DH's issues, but get some support for yourself too. Loving couples take care of each other's welfare. With some diseases, abusive personality disorders become a symptom. Eliminate access to weapons in the house and don't count on local, state, or federal government safety nets. You may not yet/ever be eligible. Ageism is real, wandering can become problematic, and current political issues with local LE are making things worse. That's why we hang around on DU, LOL! There's always somebody around that cares. SMH

Meanwhile, I'd advise keeping Dear Husband far, far away from any phones, email accounts, USPS mailings which is how most scammers begin and continue contact with their victims. Have you also looked around for access to legal assistance, not if but when you need it? If you have only one mailbox key, get it for legitimate 1st class bill mailings. You can see what should be in the mailbox by signing up to Informed Delivery but sometimes things just seem to get lost.

Good luck in your care-giving as time goes by...

[Randomthought]

7. Neurologist

Recommended by my own doctor of 25+ years.
Also have you ever actually tried to keep a 6'2" 220 lb man from doing anything?
More subtle measures need to be taken and I have taken them.

[Lulu KC]

8. I am so sorry

I hope you have a good attorney who can help you have complete control of finances, etc. and other necessary steps.

Based on what I've observed and experienced, it's waiting for tests and diagnoses that are really some of the hardest parts. Once you have some diagnoses, there can be action steps. In the meantime, it's Anxiety City.

Wishing you the best possible, all things considered.

[XanaDUer2]

9. How are you doing?

Thinking of you both

[Randomthought]

10. Better

Brain scan was normal. The appointment with the sleep doctor is next.
His cardiologist ordered a sleep study in early 2020 but Covid hit and it was canceled.
The appointment with the sleep specialist isn't until Oct 31.
I have taken over our finances with my husband's agreement.
We both have high hopes that this a sleep disorder. The doctor said a sleep disorder can cause confusion and poor judgement.
Thank you so much for thinking of us, it is greatly appreciated.