Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

RamblingRose

(1,096 posts)
Thu Jan 13, 2022, 10:53 AM Jan 2022

What to look for when 'shopping' for an independent/assisted living facility

It's finally time to move my 99 year old stepdad and 90 year old mom out of their house. They still live independently by themselves but my stepdad's health has deteriorated. He gets confused easily and overall requires more care. My mom is the full-time caregiver, chauffeur, cook, pays the bills,...

Unfortunately, I don't think my stepdad will qualify for independent living and will have to go to assisted living, whereas my mom is still totally independent.

They live in Titusville, FL and there are no options there so I am thinking somewhere around central/north Florida: New Smyrna, Gainesville, Jacksonville or anywhere NE of Orlando.

My mom's sister moved into a 'buy in' independent/assisted living community in Lancaster, PA and loves it but considering their age I don't know if a 'buy in' is the best option.

ANY help is greatly appreciated since I have no idea of where to begin.

9 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
What to look for when 'shopping' for an independent/assisted living facility (Original Post) RamblingRose Jan 2022 OP
If possible janterry Jan 2022 #1
A lot of the difference is $$$ Freddie Jan 2022 #2
If you can find a non-profit assisted living facility I've been told Tomconroy Jan 2022 #3
That is what I hope to find. Here in Georgia/Atlanta there are several Presbyterian Homes. RamblingRose Jan 2022 #5
Visit the places IbogaProject Jan 2022 #4
Thanks. What do those letters stand for? mahina Feb 2022 #7
Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRCs) IbogaProject Feb 2022 #8
Thanks! mahina Feb 2022 #9
Location that is most convenient for you to get to when needed or to assure that all is well. No Vested Interest Jan 2022 #6
 

janterry

(4,429 posts)
1. If possible
Thu Jan 13, 2022, 11:05 AM
Jan 2022

it might be good to make certain what will happen if your stepdad needs nursing care. Some places have another building (so your mom could visit and remain connected).

ime the problem for folks is nighttime ambulation. In two cases I was involved with - the person had difficulty navigating to the bathroom at night (and that meant multiple visits to the bathroom at night). In one case, a relative kept bumping into things (that resulted in very nasty bruises). In the other case, a woman - had the same needs for support at night and was told to leave the facility (her relative took her into her home at that point)

Freddie

(9,693 posts)
2. A lot of the difference is $$$
Thu Jan 13, 2022, 11:12 AM
Jan 2022

Going into an independent apartment situation normally requires a huge deposit and lots of $$ in the bank, but the monthly rent is pretty comparable to a regular apartment. There’s optional meals provided, laundry, cleaning, etc. all for an additional fee.
Assisted living usually requires a fairly small deposit ($3k when my folks moved into one 10 years ago) but the monthly cost is WAY more. Given your mom’s age this might be the better option for both. When my folks moved into one, Mom had too many physical limitations for Dad to take care of her anymore, but he could have probably lived on his own a while longer. Then he went downhill fast, and I was glad he was already in assisted living. The facility took 2 regular rooms and turned it into a suite for them, with a bedroom, living room and 2 bathrooms. They brought furniture from home and made it pretty nice.

 

Tomconroy

(7,611 posts)
3. If you can find a non-profit assisted living facility I've been told
Thu Jan 13, 2022, 11:23 AM
Jan 2022

they are the best option. Masonic homes is one option. You don't have to be a Mason. Some churches have large networks too.




.

IbogaProject

(3,652 posts)
4. Visit the places
Thu Jan 13, 2022, 12:42 PM
Jan 2022

Non Profit is better
List the services each has, Nursing Beds for long term care, Rehabilitation section are two items to look for. Trust you gut your subconscious is more sensitive and resistant to marketing.

If possible limit your search to CCRCs https://www.seniorliving.org/continuing-care-retirement-communities/

Best wishes, there is no best choice, they all have trade offs.

IbogaProject

(3,652 posts)
8. Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRCs)
Sat Feb 12, 2022, 04:59 PM
Feb 2022

The article goes over it. Stages are Assistive living, Skilled Nursing, and finally memory care and or hospice. The idea is no more moves, other then around the center. Rehab, and physical therapy, it helps to have those there too.

No Vested Interest

(5,196 posts)
6. Location that is most convenient for you to get to when needed or to assure that all is well.
Thu Jan 13, 2022, 06:14 PM
Jan 2022

I also concur that a non-profit is best, but be aware that some non-profits are being sold to for-profit companies.
Most nursing facilities have taken a financial hit these last two years, as more was required of them and staffing became more difficult.
You know from their age that their physical situations can change at any time.

Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Elder-caregivers»What to look for when 'sh...