Why "Rise of Skywalker" is objectively a bad movie:

[DetlefK]

The movie makes all the mistakes any editor would slap you for if you dared to hand in your novel like that.



No character-motivation:
- The artificial hostility between Poe and Fynn comes out of nowhere with no setup and gets resolved with a hug.

Telling instead of showing:
- Poe gets a background-story via the worst-possible method of storytelling. "Oh by the way, he used to be a smuggler."
- Did you notice that none of the space-combat at the grand finale showed any of those reinforcement-ships attacking anyone?

Handwaving:
- How exactly did Lando and Chewie convince an armada of civilian ships to not only follow them into the most dangerous sector of the galaxy on their say-so, but to follow them into the most dangerous sector of the galaxy to pick a fight with a whole fleet of Star Destroyers?

Changing the rules to force the plot:
- We're supposed to believe that the fully functional spaceship of that guy just sits in the desert for 2 decades and NOBODY tries to scavenge it, WHEN ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS IS LITERAL PROOF THAT SCAVENGING IS A PROFESSION.
- Rey can Mary Sue her way out of any problem via the force, except when she's stuck in quicksand.
- How the HOLY FUCK did Palpatine build that armada? That takes a fully industrialized planet on par with Geonosis or Kuat, with endless mining-operations and smelteries and factories and shipyards and at minimum several million experienced ship-building engineers.
- Building a Death Star used to be a big deal in terms of engineering, but Palpatine somehow found a way to give each and every Star Destroyer the firepower of a Death Star?





And that fucking token LGBT-couple.
"We need to put LGBT-stuff into our movie or the SJWs will trash it. But we also have to put it into the movie in a such a way that heterosexual people won't feel offended."
"Well, we could have two people of the same gender talk to each other, look each other in the eyes and hold hands..."
"I have a better idea: What if there is no hint that a woman is a lesbian all movie long and then at the very end she's on screen for 1 second kissing another woman?"

[Eugene]

1. I would have forgiven the film for all this nonsense if it had told a coherent, original story.

This is what you get when you let the bean counters make your film. Throw together nostalgia, (bad) fan service, godawful merchandise placements (they fly now) and throwaway bits meant to please everybody, and they expect a $2 billion film.

[underpants]

2. Just saw it yesterday. My main concern was the lack of story.

If you can't create a story for the principle characters don't make the movie. You nailed it with the bean counters. It's time for a new Christmas release so ...oh let's go with the first cast regardless of their are deceased in the story or in real life.

We went out to dinner afterwards and my family helped me realize that this was, has to be, the end of the line. The end of the third trilogy. I guess wrapping the whole thing up with EVERY element included is understandable..... I guess.

I am going with this - it was good versus evil and hope won.

[underpants]

3. As I posted-finally saw it yesterday

I checked my phone at one point and was amazed at what had happened in the first hour. It was a pretty quick 2 1/2 hour movie but C3PO not translating the sword took up a full 30 minutes of the story mainly to give Poe's backstory and introduce two characters. BTW - good for him but I really don't like the actor who plays Poe. Not a bad actor, I just don't connect with him.

If the WHAT IS IT ABOUT pitch was good versus evil and hope wins I can see that but they never really sold that.

Hold on Luke, we may have a wormhole problem.
Your critique is spot on. There weren't any actual wormholes but going back and back and back to the original trio felt like moviemaking that gets caught up in going through wormholes to the point where I have to ask, "hold on, where are we now?". I get that it was the end of the line and they wanted to bring the whole story back in. You should see the voice credits on IMDB - everyone is there. I almost groaned when I saw Leia - she's actually dead - little did I know how central she would be to this movie but I understand that they basically gave her an on film funeral. Harrison Ford looked like he skipped a couple of haircuts and didn't shave for a week to prepare for his (uncredited) part. I'd be shocked if they didn't shoot Mark Hamill's part during the making of the last movie. Hey, it's Luke. Who doesn't love Luke? I haven't had one in a while but I used to be mistaken for Hamill a lot. Speaking of which I'm going to the gym.

One last point. Palpatine - the life preserving apparatus that moved him around the throne almost made me laugh. It was this big giant moving thing that they actually showed. Oh and no one eats in a Star Wars movie.

[hunter]

4. I thought they patched together that mess quite well. It could have been a catastrophe.

This movie started out as a crippled Apollo 13, no good end in sight, long before the first frame was shot.

When Disney bought the Star Wars franchise George Lucas had already made a mess of it, and a few poor decisions along the way had made the mess even worse. Best ignore the duct tape holding everything together.

Anyways, the planet they built the Armada on had clearly been trashed. Most of the action there took place in a mine. You could almost smell the metallic toxins if the electrical arcs didn't send you into seizures first.

Hey, did anyone else notice those planet-busters hung beneath the battleships looked like penises? That Palpatine has some serious issues. He wants to fuck over the galaxy and he's going to do it with his giant penis carriers.

I also think Palpatine lied about Rey being his granddaughter. He sought her out simply because the Force was strong in her, and he would do or say anything to convert her to the dark side. Rey was seeking family, so he was pretending to be family.

The comment about the Lesbian couple was uncalled for. It's a very bad habit of Hollywood that when a character isn't some straight white male then whatever they are has to be part of the storyline. It's okay if a character just happens to be something other than a straight white male. That doesn't have to be part of the story, and nobody has to explain it.

[JuJuYoshida]

5. it was basically Return of the Jedi

for me, after 2 viewings it was just a mess, a total clusterfuck thrown together to look like another tribute movie.

[DetlefK]

6. Avengers Endgame also was 100% fan-tribute, but at least they had believable characters.

One movie was made by people who loved the characters, the story, the universe. The other movie was made by corporate suits checking off boxes on a list.

Apart from the Rey-Kylo scenes, the whole movie reeked of soulless calculation and planning by someone who only wants to milk this.