Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

XanaDUer2

(14,124 posts)
Wed Mar 20, 2024, 02:08 PM Mar 2024

Told by half-sister father molested me as an infant

I've cut off contact with her due to her abusive behavior. Maybe her borderline and BPD came from molestation, too. I was told this months ago and, I knee-jerked said, no of course that didn't happen. Now I'm not sure. I'm in my late 50s. No one talked about this then. He was a high-functioning alcoholic.

My mother moved miles away and divorced him. She never took a penny in CS. He made a good good union ny job salary.

Now I'm being told by friends and family that this never happened, and this is something my family came up with to facilitate a divorce and no visitation at all. I remember nothing. I would have been an infant.

How are they so sure this is some made-up bs story from my mothers family? None of the deniers are related to him? Maybe this happened and why i have so many difficulties now mentally and emotionally?

Parents SA their kids everyday. Esp impaired. Im tired of being told this never happened because..? My mother picked up and moved 1500 miles away with the help of her parents. The narrative is my vindictive mother and her family said this? I hope it didn't happen, but I'm never going to know. Everyone is dead

11 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Told by half-sister father molested me as an infant (Original Post) XanaDUer2 Mar 2024 OP
Either way. What you do know is that you are a survivor. LuvLoogie Mar 2024 #1
Thanks XanaDUer2 Mar 2024 #9
I hope you can find peace... Think. Again. Mar 2024 #2
TY XanaDUer2 Mar 2024 #5
. Think. Again. Mar 2024 #6
I have thoughts, but mainly concern for you being told this by your sister... hlthe2b Mar 2024 #3
She's truly disturbed nt XanaDUer2 Mar 2024 #10
If your mother never told you this and Joinfortmill Mar 2024 #4
Thank you XanaDUer2 Mar 2024 #11
My opinion: Your half-sister is toxic. LoisB Mar 2024 #7
She threw it out in the middle XanaDUer2 Mar 2024 #8

LuvLoogie

(7,551 posts)
1. Either way. What you do know is that you are a survivor.
Wed Mar 20, 2024, 02:18 PM
Mar 2024

That you have love and kindness to share. That no matter what, you can give and receive nurturing energy. When the anxiety and doubt comes, don't fight it. Take some breaths and sit in the feeling. Let the episode subside, then do something nice for yourself.

You have a right to your anxiety and doubt, but your love and kindness is stronger and healing.

Think. Again.

(18,285 posts)
2. I hope you can find peace...
Wed Mar 20, 2024, 02:24 PM
Mar 2024

...with this unanswerable question.

And please remind yourself of all the good GREAT things about yourself that have nothing to do with anyone other than the wonderful person that YOU are (that might sound silly but you know those great things are there).

hlthe2b

(106,473 posts)
3. I have thoughts, but mainly concern for you being told this by your sister...
Wed Mar 20, 2024, 02:25 PM
Mar 2024

As horrible as it is to contemplate as even a remote possibility-- given what you said about your sister-- I'd have to share your doubts that it is anything other than your sister's created delusion. What possible good could come from relating such a story to you or anyone else--especially given you would never have remembered it as an infant? You say your sister is abusive and has many issues of her own. I'd be hard-pressed not to think this story that can only cause pain is likely part of that situation--that instability-- with her. I wish she'd not told you that. I hope you can put it aside and not let it cause lingering harm from something you can (and could) never know. Now that you are an adult, I tend to think the friends/family who discount this story would have little motivation to tell you anything but the truth.

Joinfortmill

(16,515 posts)
4. If your mother never told you this and
Wed Mar 20, 2024, 02:40 PM
Mar 2024

if you have no memory of it or any issues that would indicate such behavior occurred, my suggestion, as a layperson, is to live your best life and leave the toxicity behind. Best of luck

XanaDUer2

(14,124 posts)
11. Thank you
Thu Mar 21, 2024, 12:24 PM
Mar 2024

Blessedly, I have no memories. My sister may have god knows what reason to throw that out in the middle of a conversation

LoisB

(8,767 posts)
7. My opinion: Your half-sister is toxic.
Wed Mar 20, 2024, 03:10 PM
Mar 2024

It sounds to me as if she wanted to hurt you and I would not give any credence to what she says. You are strong, don't let her "story" eff with your mind.

XanaDUer2

(14,124 posts)
8. She threw it out in the middle
Wed Mar 20, 2024, 03:59 PM
Mar 2024

Of a conversation. Out of the blue. She was very close to him. Thank you

Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Sexual Assault Survivors Support»Told by half-sister fathe...