How do you handle your faith being challenged?

[hrmjustin]

Interfaith post.


I have to admit I don't always handle it well here. Sometimes I take it too personal. In real life most of the people I know are live and let live so I don't really get into it.

How do you handle it here or in real life?

[NYC_SKP]

1. I am amazed and disturbed by the energy spent by others in challenging personal beliefs.

.
I guess I'm just incredibly naïve, but while religious extremists of all sorts don't surprise me, I am really disappointed by individuals in the progressive community who will attack other progressives for not toeing the same line they do.

I won't challenge their choices in what or how they so or don't believe or worship, but I am saddened by the drama and it just seems inconsistent with my ideals of tolerance.

In real life, I don't encounter many challenges, and if I'm at a service or event, be it Unitarian Universalist, Buddhist, or a Southern Baptist revival singing fest, I respect the folks who are there and they respect me.

"Live and Let live" is really the rule of the day among most of the people I meet.

[hrmjustin]

3. Well i understand that some are really passionate and interested in the subject.

But the aggressiveness catches me by surprise at time. I got caught by surprise today again.

I need to pick my battles better but some of the things said here are just downright mean.

[NYC_SKP]

7. You're too kind.

I think a great many people were truly hurt, maybe in childhood, by events of a religious nature and are understandably acting unproductively.

But I think others are just plain bullies.

I observed with dismay a series of group fights while modding and I remember others before being a mod and sometimes the worst of humanity would be on display: gang attacks, preying on the weak or new member, swarming and nastiness.

I'm not saying that's what we have in every case, but elements of it occur between factions with respect to those highly contested topics: religion guns I/P and others.

Take care, Justin.

[hrmjustin]

8. Thanks for defending me in that thread.

[wryter2000]

2. In my experience

People aren't rude in real face-to-face interaction. I only encounter the real hate here. I stay away from places where I think it's going to come up.

[hrmjustin]

4. I think I need to do that more.

[wryter2000]

5. Just like any other kind of hate

much of what they say is totally irrational - you can't carry on a debate with them.

[hrmjustin]

6. I started using ignore. i need to expand it.

[Leontius]

9. It doesn't get challanged by anyone

They're like little dogs yapping from behind the living room window as you walk by.

[hrmjustin]

10. I have to admit I don't chose my battles well.

[Leontius]

20. Whe you let them spew their venom it helps keeps it from festering.

Stops the rot for a little while.

[hrmjustin]

21. Well thats an interesting way of looking at it.

I just wish the room was not so hostile.

That is not to say I don't have my own faults here.

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

11. Depends on how it's done

If the person is being reasonable, then I will try to be reasonable in return. If the person is just being belligerent, the "religious faith is a sign of mental illness" type, then I will return the belligerence. That's the main reason I tend to avoid the Religion group.

[hrmjustin]

12. There is a lot of experience wisdom in stepping back from there.

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

13. I got burned (and banned) a few times too many.

[cbayer]

14. Being challenged by someone who is truly interested and being bullied are two

different things.

If you could more easily distinguish between the two, you would probably have a much more enjoyable time.

You are sincere in your beliefs, but you have the false assumption that others respect your sincerity.

You are not anyone's punching bag. If someone seems desperate for your attention, they are probably desperate.

And because you are a kind person, they are always going to be able to ramp it up way more than you would.

Let me ask you this. What do you hope to accomplish by interacting with those that clearly have nothing but disdain for you?

[hrmjustin]

15. The only thing I get out of it is misery.

I think today proved a few things to me. Some here will never change and if I engage them it will only end badly.

[cbayer]

17. Ok, justin. "Some here will never change and if I engage them, it will only end badly".

That's is the truth. You will be miserable, they will be gleeful and nothing positive will have been accomplished.

So, why don't you pick out those that you know are bullying you and truly ignore them. It's not about you, it's all about them. There is no need to defend yourself.

Those that know you know what and who you really are. It does not matter what some bully who is picking on you says.

I don't know what happened to you today because I follow my own advice here. Those that have it in for me will never change and if I engage them it will only end badly.

Those are your words. Now do something about it.

[hrmjustin]

18. Yes I think I will add a fourth to ignore.

That should be the last of those who give me the most issues.

You always were right about thisand I will not let any of them drive me from the room again.

[Leontius]

22. I did tell you about that one sometime ago if you remember.

Don't stop engaging the ones you can stomach something good may happen no matter how small the chance.

[hrmjustin]

23. Yes you did and I do get along with several I disagree with there.

[el_bryanto]

16. It depends on the nature of the challenge

Mocking and attacking are unpleasant and frankly, life is too short to put up with them. This is why I trashed the religion forum. While it was good to get a better understanding of where some atheists are coming from, at the end of the day, the negativity and shifting goal-posts just drove me nuts.

But anybody who has a religious opinion/belief that is different than mine is in a sense a challenge to my belief. You can't really have an interfaith discussion without having your beliefs challenged in one form or another. And that is often beneficial - even if it is done very forcefully.

Bryant

[hrmjustin]

19. Yes challenging belief is not bad as long as it is done in good faith.

[el_bryanto]

24. That is the problem with the religion room

There are several atheists who are arguing in bad faith; their disdain for religion and the religious justifies nearly any attack. And even the ones who are more reasonable usually go out of their way to provide cover for the others (with some mealy-mouthed nonsense about "I've talked to people in IMs about going to far.&quot

I also know what you mean about taking it personally - it's very hard not to with some of the things they say.

Bryant

[hrmjustin]

25. kick.

[Union Scribe]

26. I refuse to get into it.

I challenge my own opinions constantly, it's just how my brain works. So I have neither the time nor temperament to allow some internet malcontents with the debate skills of a an angry 13 year old to nip my heels with their presumptions and cliched yammering. Since I find that most people eager to "challenge the faith" of others fall into that category, I just refuse to play along.

[hrmjustin]

27. Well said.

I need to avoid playing into it.

[Union Scribe]

28. It's hard. It's so tempting

to try to correct the ridiculous generalizations about religious people, but it's like trying to respond to someone telling a "yo mama" joke or playground stuff like that. For DU, I hid the Religion forum and put some select phrases into the keyword trashcan, which cuts down on a good portion of the nonsense.

[cbayer]

30. But there are those that really don't see how what they say could be construed as bigotry

or intolerance.

Sometimes having a conversation with those people does make a difference, particularly if it is civil and respectful.

I am sure everyone has had the experience of being told that a word or phrase they thought was innocuous was really hurtful.

So, I still engage with people until it becomes clear that their agenda is rigid and dogmatic and they are not going to change.

And if they are abusive, they go on ignore.

Religious tolerance is too important an issue for this party and our shared agenda to completely ignore.

[Union Scribe]

31. And those who continue trying

to have that dialogue have my appreciation. And my admiration. FWIW I am much more open to discuss religion face to face because those seem much likelier to be respectful exchanges. Online, though, it just seems like talking to a series of anti-religion bumper sticker slogans.

[cbayer]

33. I am very circumspect about my discussions about religion IRL.

But when I do have them, they are generally very interesting and totally civil.

I have never run into some of the sorts that hang out around here IRL. In fact, I bet they don't even act like this IRL.

There are all kinds of great and interesting religious and non-religious people here.

We each have to do what we have to do, and I don't expect you to do anything differently.

Just be yourself. That speaks loudly.

[okasha]

29. You can ignore people without putting them on ignore.

There are several people I usually just scroll past because they're still saying exactly what they were saying when I joined DU years ago. They play off permanent scripts; at this point I could write their posts for them if they weren't so damn boring by now. The advantage to this is that posters who reply to them frequently have interesting or informative things to say, that I wouldn't want to miss.

I have blocked several people from DUmail, though.

[hrmjustin]

32. I admit to peaking on one I had on ignore just now and it looks like he is trowing a fit.

Some things never change.

[okasha]

34. There are two or three running tantrums going on.

I think part of the ire is that one of their buddies is taking a "long winter's nap."

[hrmjustin]

35. I am tempted to respond but i doubt I will.

[hrmjustin]

36. lol i just responded to him.

[rug]

37. Point out the flaws in the challenge.

I have yet to see a flawless challenge.