I recently got custody of my 13 year old grandson

[LSFL]

The papers clearly state that we have shared custody with my stepson with my wife and I having residential custody as we are able to provide a safe and stable home place as well as the child stating in court that he wishes to stay with us.

Recently my stepson appliied for food stamps and Medicare portraying that the child resided with him. This was the main lie among many others.

He lives with his wife's parents and claims to be separated from his wife to draw more benefits on the 4 kids he does live with.

I have a strong desire to set the record straight at least as far as the child I have custody of is concerned. This will no doubt cause upheaval in my marriage. But damn it, you do what is right because it is right. Any ideas? The fraudsters he is in bed with are stealing 40k a year and likely much more.
He even wants us to give the boys new school his address rather than ours and it is in a different district and town.
I was a prison guard for quite awhile and have little sympathy for thieves, kin or not.

I guess I am hoping that someone has been in a similar situation and can give me advice. Every fiber of my being tells me to speak up and not be complicit in this bullshit.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Turn him in. He's stealing from all of us.

[LuvLoogie]

2. You are the legal guardian of a minor. Your stepson is an adult. You have to do what's right for

the child. That means being in compliance with the law and your responsibilities to the child. The court and the child have placed their trust in you.

You can not aid and abet in fraud. Contact your grandchild's social worker. Tel them the situation and ask for advice. I think that, by law, the social worker would need to act and inform the proper authority.

[elleng]

3. Thank you for caring, and for being able to comply with your grandson's wishes to stay with you.

I'd say without hesitation you should set the record straight, but for 'upheaval in my marriage.' I hope such upheaval would not adversely affect your grandson.

[Nay]

4. I would consult your lawyer about how to proceed. At the very least, the lawyer can

make sure that your residence address is the kid's address for school district. I'm assuming you are sending him to your local school, since you have residential custody. This in itself should throw a wrench into the works for the thieves. Also, is Dad supposed to provide medical insurance? Is he trying to get Medicaid for the kid? Or can YOU apply and skip the middleman? All questions for your lawyer. You do not want to get entangled with fraudsters!

[GitRDun]

5. There is no way I would participate in that!

The simplest thing to do IMO is give the school his correct address; yours.

My response to anyone objecting to that would be I am not going to lie for anyone. He lives with you that's the truth.

You want the school to be able to contact you period.

My guess is your stepson will not be able to use your grandson then to get benefits because he will have no way to prove he lives with him.

Can't say I am sure what to do on the rest of the fraud. That's a little sticky depending on your circumstances.

You should at least be allowed to NOT participate in a fraud or a lie. How could anyone reasonably object to that?

[CousinIT]

6. Report it- He's stealing money from others in need.

https://www.medicare.gov/forms-help-and-resources/report-fraud-and-abuse/report-fraud/reporting-fraud.html

[Juliusseizure]

13. That link is to report doctor/providers

who overcharge medicare. I don't think it applies here.

[CousinIT]

14. OK. Still think he should report it, wherever it is appropriate to do so. n/t

[AJT]

7. I would be concerned that if he is caught then

you would be in trouble too and you would be hard pressed to prove you weren't in on it and taking a cut. You could then lose custody of your grandson. Also your stepson is a crook so I'm not sure how your wife can defend his behavior.

[applegrove]

8. Don't participate in their scam.

[bottomofthehill]

9. You need to talk to a family law lawyer first

I am not a lawyer and don't like to give my money away, but, you are in a position to do some good for your grandson. You are providing him a safe haven and the possibility to do well in the future.

I had a similar situation with my sister in law after my wife's mother passed away, the parents were separated but not divorced. He (her father) granted us through a court order, custody so we could enrol her in school and put her on our family health insurance. We paid all of her expenses and we were a young couple with a baby of our own, and not a lot of money. Daycare was killing us. I wanted to claim her as a dependent on our taxes, she was 14.

Her father was a shitstain and was writing her off on his taxes even though he was not paying a cent towards her in any way. He said he would go to court to regain custody if we caused problems with his tax return. Could care less about his daughter but was concerned about his taxes.

The lawyer told us that a biological parent often wins in custody cases over a non- parent so we had to decide if it was worth the risk. We decided it was not and my sister in law stayed with us.

Don't cut off your nose to spite your face, get good counsel before you decide what you want to do and realize that there may be back side implications.

[Juliusseizure]

15. My free legal counsel

I'm a lawyer but these matters are largely governed by state based laws, and I know next to squat about food stamps/welfare/medicare law anyway, except as it relates to child support which I doubt he pays.

You should find out first whether your knowledge of his lying, may get you in trouble. I doubt it but check.

You definitely avoid helping him commit fraud. If the school asks for his address, you give the correct one.

What if you won't get in legal trouble by being aware of but not disclosing his lying?
Up to you.

You could tell him you can't and won't cover for his lies because that gets you in serious trouble, and its immoral, so he needs to seriously consider whether his actions will somehow force you to disclose information that gets him in trouble.

His lies seem like they can be easily caught, and would amount to fraud.
All a social agency needs to open an investigation to find fraud is a report from a school, court, tax authority, other government agency, check the family court and see the shared custody order, etc etc.

Welfare fraud is usually a felony punishable by fine and possible imprisonment.

A lawyer may keep him out of jail but he'll have to pay everything back, and could have a felony on his record he would need to disclose on future food stamp, medicare, disability applications, job applications, maybe credit card/debt applications, etc.

Hopefully he'll get scared enough to withdraw the application.

[bottomofthehill]

16. Go with the Lawyers counsel

Not the Hack's (me) advice.

[lostnfound]

10. Somewhat off topic but If you are retired

Don't forget to file for SS for minor dependent.

[procon]

11. Here's something else to consider...

Eventually an audit, social workers, or someone will report it or a query will flag the discrepancy, and the state will act. Since you both are claiming the child resides with each of you, you will have to prove that your custody claim is the legal and valid one, not the stepson. Questions may arise about what did you know that might make you look like an accomplice. Maybe it can be resolved simply by just providing your custody orders, but there's a possibility that you might need a lawyer to protect yourself if they press charges against your stepson.

Consider this too, if he's already claiming custody, then is it likely that he is also claiming the tax deduction too? Now the feds would be involved and asking who really has the valid claim.

Your primary goal should be to protect yourself so you're able to give the boy a safe and loving home.

[Warpy]

12. I hope he'll learn better values from your example

than he likely has from his parents.

The problem with dropping a dime on his dad is that the wife will also likely be charged and that will mean even more children will be out there needing a home. Lousy parents might be better than no parents.

About all you can do is tell sonny boy you won't be helping him steal from the taxpayers, period, and that you want no part of any of his scams. Tell him if the state checks the address he's given, then he'll go to prison and you won't help him stay out, so he'd better update the kid's address now and forgo theft in his name.

ETA: I doubt you can be charged as an accessory to fraud since the false address is being reported by your stepson and not you. Ditto Federal taxes. Stepson is likely to find himself in a world of hurt.