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Related: About this forumMy son has a "1776" jacket
He's an adult. He's drinking the koolaid.
BUT does this mean he's in a militia?
We don't talk about politics because he won't listen and I won't be mansplained to with info from MTG.
I keep feeling like I am morning the death of the person I'd hoped he'd be.
I taught him to "think for himself" and so he has rejected "my knowledge" in favor of the shit stain's.
czarjak
(12,420 posts)D-E-P-L-O-R-A-B-L-E
Shermann
(8,647 posts)I have the inverse situation which torments me: MAGA-Parents.
The holiday season is...interesting.
Skittles
(159,374 posts)I would be BESIDE myself if I had MAGAts in the family
TigressDem
(5,125 posts)Like dealing with someone who is hypo-manic and HAS to be right about everything.
I get sick to my stomach often and sometimes I just cry because I don't know if I will EVER get him back to reality.
TigressDem
(5,125 posts)He recently had been hospitalized with a rare cancer and was thinking of refusing treatment.
I texted him asking "Why? Because this will kill your Mom if you die because you refuse treatment."
His Daughter also sent him a heartfelt letter. She is adopting and was beside herself with the thought of gaining a child and losing a parent during the same Christmas.
So my Hubby is texting his Bro more than they have previously and talking about safe topics. It's nice.
We might not agree, but he isn't quite as extreme as my Son is, or I don't see it on a daily basis.
My Son lives with me because of crazy life and financial circumstances.
His family has been saving to get their own place, but have talked about moving to Texas. Blech.
We talk about food mostly. He had a neighbor who does tattoos over last night and I asked her if she's ever watched "Ink Wars".
So I let them be them, but my heart hurts and with guns in the house, I get the creepy crawlies sometimes.
Most of the time I require him to lock them in his bedroom when he isn't home and in close proximity to them, so that anyone breaking in can't grab the gun and use it against us.
The other Grandparents have guns so the Grand kids are used to keeping their paws off unless going to an actual shooting range. In-Laws have a gun safe and as far as gun safety, I trust and respect their responsible behaviors.
Son's FIL is drinking tRUMP koolaid too, but he was a DEM at one time so actually talks to me more respectfully than my Son did about issues.
TigressDem
(5,125 posts)His FIL is from Southern roots and was a DEM until Raygun broke the Pilots Union and the airline FIL worked for shat on them.
He was a strong DEM as long as the UNION gave him what he needed, but as a Marine as well he had some indoctrination.
So because FIL benefited from the UNION and the Marines and has a better home etc... We live in inner city, they are in the suburbs.... SON believed FIL walked on water and when FIL started drinking the koolaid, they both got going.
magicarpet
(16,521 posts)Hopefully you two can maintain a loving relationship while recognizing the wide chasm between your political and social viewpoints.
Good luck in finding a comfort zone of equilibrium and balance in the middle of your awkward situation.
TigressDem
(5,125 posts)I only saw the jacket because I was watching the youngest Grandson while the rest of the family went to see the new AVATAR movie.
I didn't say anything because I don't want to put the Grandson in the middle of the conversation.
Thank God for DU where I can vent a little so my head doesn't explode.
TigressDem
(5,125 posts)IF I win the lottery, I can probably set him up with his own restaurant and it will be AMAZING.
So he offers us tastes and we talk about stuff like how to tell when an acorn squash is ripe.
We talk about getting snow shoveled and getting kids to school. My Hubby's car has all wheel traction and my son drives a sporty car that wants to peel out when you gently tap on the gas. It's his dream car, but a nightmare on icy winter roads.
But I had to broken record him and practically threw him out of my car for trying to sell me on a talking point using something MTG said. Kudos to me for not running him over in my red-visioned rage.
Then he tried it again when he was driving and I made him pull over. I was ready to walk, but he compromised and stopped trying to mansplain his crap to me.
I have limits I set and when they get too noisy upstairs I go up to get them to chill out.
We buried his 10 year old cat that died after it got stuck out of the house for a week. We think he ate a mouse or rat that was poisoned. We tried to save him, but it didn't work.
My Son's love of cats does make him part mine. He prefers dogs, but that cat actually climbed up my son's work overhauls and into his heart at a job site. Cat was so lovable but a chunker and picking him up made him cranky. You could pet him and his purr was this triple thing with a chirp at the end sometimes. He'd let you "nose touch" with him and sometimes he'd initiate a head bump. Cat crawled into the whole family's heart.
I'm still needing to finish reading Verbal JUDO the art of gentle persuasion. Supposedly it should help. But that was written for COPS to defuse situations. Not sure how to deal when someone's version of reality is completely different than mine.
Lettuce Be
(2,339 posts)We still speak but it will likely never be as before. We are very superficial now -- I cannot ask his opinion on any current event for fear he'll say something stupid and I'm not willing to just listen, so ... we don't really talk.
His father who has since passed, was black. His two half-brothers and five half-sisters are black. He still drank the koolaid and last time I visited he had a lifesized Trump, so ... yeah, drank and swallowed.
He since moved to FLorida to be near "his people" whatever that even means. I live in WA state, so no more visits. I will likely only know my 3-year-old grandson via video calls but that is okay. I only saw my grandparents once a year and loved them dearly.
I cried and mourned the loss for quite some time, considering he's still here, and now I'd say the grief has subsided, thinking about it doesn't bring me to tears now. I miss him terribly, miss our conversations, but he is building his life with his wife and son, and he is happy (I assume, so I'm happy for him). He's no longer a child, no longer under my roof, so I must let him lead his life, whether I like it or not. He fell for a con, that's pretty much it.
TigressDem
(5,125 posts)I'd hire a moderator and we would each have 10 minutes to present our viewpoint.
Supporting material would have to be printed, but the actual content of conversations would be, what do YOU think/believe and generically, "Why?"
I know one thing he told me is totally debunked but I could not "prove it" to him at the time.
There were allegations that BLM DESTROYED the face of the Lincoln Monument. It was a hoax.
But the LIVE CAMs in the park were off line in that area for some reason.
Because I wanted to pull up the park CAM that faces the Lincoln Monument at that moment and show it was in tact.
I'd read the article and there WAS defacement that happened at the Lincoln Monument and it probably WAS BLM.
BUT it was a painted sentence about 50 feet away from the actual monument on some stairs or a cement planter.
I can't remember exactly.
So we would fly to DC and I would show him both locations and have some expert verify or get him an allowance to closely inspect the statue.
I would show him the park where BLM protestors were hit with tear gas and manhandled when they were completely peacefully protesting. Some even kneeling on the ground. And walk him from there to the Church where tRUMP stood and held up the Bible to show his support for Christian Nationalism. I would ask him how many times has tRUMP gone to church since 2015?
How many times has he gone to the tomb of the unknown soldier or called to thank military men and women for being away from their families? I would have those numbers at hand. Then I would ask him how many times does he think Biden has done those things. And I would have those numbers too.
Then I would tell him the names of the people whose children were murdered that MTG has been slandering/harassing; and fly him to go meet with them so he could ask them himself.
IF I were rich enough to have those conversations with him and have a moderator so I can listen to whatever he wants to tell me in return, with neither of us giving rebuttal at that time. MUST be done as a written reply so we have time to think it over, look up the facts and present it calmly.
Possibly someone the size of Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson so it's a bit of a bouncer/moderator role.
BUT these are pipe dreams.
Tigress