Is it just me, or do people think you're crazy for just wanting to be alone, FFS?

[NYC_SKP]

So I should know better, just on my past. My main home is one on 1/3 acre with a private driveway and a keypad/remote operated electric gate.

No big deal, the value has never been greater than the average US home price. But I bought it to keep people from just dropping in as I work at home and don't need that crap.

Call first.

So, I've invested in a place on the ocean with a killer view, but it's tiny, and I have new neighbors and I have one ancient friend two towns over.

I feel like one set of neighbors thinks I should let them know when I'm going to be here (I rent it out the rest of the time, as a vacation condo).

And my old friend, Tom, learned that I'd be in town and wanted to hang out.

Well, Tom seems to think that I would want to be with him the ENTIRE time I'm here AND I wouldn't mind driving him over to his mom's place on my way out of town, now would I?

Apparently, I need to be more vocal. I don't come here to be with Tom, or the neighbors. I come to relax and if I want to hook up with a friend, I'll do that.

It seems that Tom's and the neighbors' feelings are hurt because I'm not the normal "Hey I'm in town lets go out!" type of person.

Is it just me?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. No, it's not just you, my dear NYC_SKP!

It could be (and it wouldn't surprise me one little bit) that your neighbors and Tom like you so much that they want to hang out with you all the time!

You'll just have to set them straight, gently of course. I hope they'll understand.

[NYC_SKP]

2. Well you managed to find a way to make me feel better, how kind!

So I'm smiling, thank you!

Tom, as it turns out, does like me but he also has the distinction of being a person who I've had to kick out of a living arrangement at least twice. He's that kind of guy, so I'm cautious.

I think the neighbors are less a problem, and quite a blessing. They were instrumental in getting me in an ambulance back in May, you know what I mean.

I should send them a text, thank them, let them know I'm here.

Love you, Peggy, and hope you're well!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. I am glad you feel better!

I have found, that when I'm down, the way to feel better myself is to help someone else first.

And it works.

I am feeling much better today than yesterday...don't know if you saw the kerfluffle in GD over my WCGreen post...

right back!

[NYC_SKP]

4. Thanks, and I think you're spot on about helping others.

I'm at my worst when I'm dependent on others, at my best when I feel productive and helpful.

What pissed my off more than anything about being in the hospital in May and June was that I had to miss key events at schools and I couldn't make it to events with the new civic organization I joined, I'll share more about that with you later.

I didn't see the WCGreen post, but I am automatically informed of updates via Facebook, and am grateful.

Some people have really sad lives that they feel a need to crap on other people's efforts, or their artwork or their compositions or whatever.

I wish it wasn't so, but knowing that it's rare and that we have, by far, more supporters than detractors, gives me comfort.

Take care!

BTW, dolphins yesterday, in plain sight out my window and what seemed to be 75 feet from the sand. Whales have been spotted in the next town over, but not here and not by me.

And this morning, "arf arf arf", a seal, somewhere, I couldn't spot him or her but it's a friendly sound!

[dixiegrrrrl]

5. Most people do not get that social interactions can be very draining for some of us.

I think that your neighbors have a valid concern in that they live next to a home that can be empty for periods of time,
then be used by people they do not know.
The urge to keep an eye on the neighborhood is a natural safety concern, at least for me in my neighborhood.

Since I live in the South, my immediate neighbor makes it a point to call when she is leaving overnight or longer,
so I can "keep an eye on the place" for her, which I am glad to do, mainly because she calls, not drops by to chat about it.
and she tells me if she is expecting anyone to be at the house while she is gone, which again I appreciate, since I can ignore my dog's warning barks ( he keeps an eye on her place too).

as for friends....
one has to set clear boundaries, then repeat them if necessary in order to maintain them.
It can be done sweetly.
real friends respect boundaries, of course.

[Warpy]

6. Even though that 25% of us who are introverts are a sizable minority

extroverts never quite believe that we really need alone time to recharge. They panic when their cell phone batteries run down or there's a power failure and they can't get online or there is nobody around to talk to. We all delight in the peace and quiet of those situations and they really don't get it. They can't get it.

Add to that the media fiction of the "crazy, violent loner" committing all the political assassinations of the past 50 years and you have another reason for mistrust.

While it's annoying to have to sneak in and out of one's own vacation spot, that might be the best policy concerning Tom, letting him know you're in town for the weekend on the weekend you're actually preparing to leave.

The neighbors will be a little tougher but you don't owe them anything but being reasonably quiet while you're there.