social butterfly, now...a recluse

[steve2470]

Recluse is the nicest word I've found so far. I'm talking about me. I hope I don't regret this thread.

[Warpy]

1. A book which I read when I was a kid has haunted my whole life

It's called "We Have Always Lived in the Castle" by Shirley Jackson and it's part mystery, part horror, detailing the lives of two sisters as they became recluses and eventually why it happened. There are flaws in the story I can drive a truck through now that I'm an adult, but even as a kid, I knew I was at risk for doing the same thing.

I'm not rich enough to be a true recluse because I need to do my own shopping and cooking. However, most of my human contact is via computer these days, as much from illness as from being an extreme introvert.

I'm not paralyzed by socializing. I just need a lot of alone time to recharge my inner batteries. Most of the time, it's just not worth it.

[steve2470]

2. For about 35 years, I was never home except to sleep, shower, etc

Now....about the reverse is true. I'm an extreme introvert too, ofc. At any rate...thanks for responding, and all the best to you !

[Warpy]

3. Read the book sometime

because even though there are a few major flaws in the plot, it remains creepy as hell.

[longship]

9. Shirley Jackson, a great author.

Everybody knows about her short story, The Lottery, of course, often an eighth grade standard.

My favorite is The Haunting of Hill House, a psychological horror tale which was made into a movie twice. The first, directed by Robert Wise in the early sixties was a close account of the book with a great cast. That movie scared the shit out of me at the time. No point in mentioning the horrible remake.

Sorry for the thread highjack.

[Warpy]

11. Agreed, although I'd put her in the YA section

What creeped me out about the book I cited was how the descent into madness was presented as so utterly normal and everyday. And yes, by the end of the book, her main characters were completely bonkers.

[catchnrelease]

12. Another Shirley Jackson fan here

Also another fan of the original Hill House movie, which was incredibly scary to me. It was the standard by which all other horror films were measured. I still swear that they have edited the film and left out some of the creepier stuff, but maybe it's just that time and age have dulled the original terror I felt watching it. I honestly have looked for a 'directors cut' or something that is closer to what I remember than the version available these days.

And Steve 2470, you're among friends in this group. If you haven't already, look back at some of the older threads and I think you'll see that most here think the same way you do. Maybe were not ever social butterflies but introverts for sure.

[steve2470]

13. Thanks, and call me Steve, please :)

I'm not sure how long I will be a recluse (ugh hate all the words but it's accurate). I'm ok with it for now. Definitely an extreme introvert.

Have a great day.

[catchnrelease]

14. I have noticed

Definitely the older I get (coming up on 64) the less time I want to spend with people I don't really want to be with. Even if I'm 'wasting' time sitting here reading DU or Charlie Pearce for several hours at a time, I would rather be doing that than having to go out and be social.

Yesterday I had a fantastic long lunch with two friends, it was great. But they were people I chose to be with and we have lots in common to talk about etc. Last week I went with my husband to have dinner with his elderly aunt, his cousin and cousin's girlfriend. They are all perfectly nice people, and we do this a few times a year. But imo it's such a drag to have to go. Basically I sit and listen to them all talk over each other, lol. I try to be pleasant and throw in a comment or two but I always look forward to it being over.

I no longer accept invitations for things I don't want to attend--other than family things that I really feel obligated to go to. My philosophy now is life is too short to spend it with people I don't care about or worse, don't like and have to be nice to. I know that sounds like I'm a recluse or party pooper but I don't care anymore, I've learned to say no finally. Luckily my husband knows how I am and doesn't ever pressure me to attend things he knows would make me miserable. (We live in the area where he grew up and his former high school crowd seems to get together all the time....ugh!)

So Steve, DO be ok with how you are now. There's nothing wrong with you, unless you become agoraphobic maybe!

Cheers

[steve2470]

15. thanks

I'm definitely not agoraphobic. I'm not going to explain it here, because some internet sociopath will copy and paste it to his pals and make endless fun of me. Been there done that.

Thanks for kind words and I'm glad your social life is good

[littlemissmartypants]

4. I was bitten while asleep

And woke up having trouble breathing. A trip to the ER and a quick shot then I was on my way.

Don't be this kind:

Loxosceles reclusa

Please.

http://i.word.com/idictionary/recluse

[steve2470]

6. yea, sorry you had to endure that :/

[littlemissmartypants]

5. I have

BATTERIES!
Cool.
Where are they?

[steve2470]

7. lol nt

[littlemissmartypants]

8. ...

[applegrove]

10. 18 Struggles Of Having An Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy And Introverted

18 Struggles Of Having An Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy And Introverted

by Brianna Wiest at Thought Catalogue

http://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2014/07/18-struggles-of-having-an-outgoing-personality-but-actually-being-shy-and-introverted/

"SNIP........................


8. You’re accused of being flirty with everybody, which is hilarious, because in reality, you can only tolerate like four people.

9. You retain an air of mysteriousness about you, completely unintentionally. (There’s no mystery. You just feel no need to update the social sphere on what’s going on in your life every two hours.)

10. Not to mention the fact that you either have days in which you’re tweeting and status updating every five minutes… or you delete your accounts for a month.

11. You become unintentionally awkward because you at once feel the need to be a social life jacket for other people, though you’re just as uncomfortable yourself.




..........................SNIP"

[bemildred]

22. I like this one:

9. You retain an air of mysteriousness about you, completely unintentionally. (There’s no mystery. You just feel no need to update the social sphere on what’s going on in your life every two hours.)

I relate to that a lot. It's not that I wouldn't inform people of anything they need to know, but the constant sound track interferes with whatever it is I'm trying to do.

[applegrove]

23. I lost my narrative at 10. I gave it away. I was 10. Now I can't

think and speak at the same time unless I'm with an active listener or talking with a group of people. My grandmother taught me the oral tradition when I was a kid: to tell slow, meandering, grounded stories of my life. I'm so sorry I gave it up. There are so many things I'd go back and change if I could. But I can't.

[bemildred]

24. Extended form narrative and exposition are out of fashion somewhat anyway.

I tend to lose the thread of my thoughts when I'm speaking, especially if I'm conversing rather than lecturing, but I'm an old fart now, I used to be better at it.

I have read a number of people now who thing the millenials with their wired-up interactive life-style represent a new mode of consciousness, and I think the idea deserves attention.

[applegrove]

25. Absolutely it is a new consciousness. I got ahold of a second

hand E.T. dvd. I never saw it as a teen so I thought I'd finally watch it. The movie was way to slow for me. I couldn't stand it. I've watched a lot of series on dvd in the last 6 years and the tempo is completely different. I know the oral tradition is no longer so popular these days. Still I wish I had not given up my sense of self as a teen. I wish I had just adjusted it to the changing times.

[bemildred]

26. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Don't really read at all the way we used to think of it, but other things, they do better. I find I have lost my taste for long form too lately, not sure if it's temporary phase or not.

Anyway, I expect you can get it back; but you are what you do, so you'll have to make changes. There are people out there still keeping the oral tradition alive. I've seen them.

[yuiyoshida]

16. I have one cat...

SEE? I am on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady!

[steve2470]

17. haha ! :) nt

[NYC_SKP]

18. I feel a bit that way too, don't care for crowds, don't keep many friends, BUT...

My job is one in which I'm often called upon to lead large groups of people in one-day or multiple-day experiences.

I never thought I'd like such work, but I do.

But in my off hours, I don't even like being with my girlfriend all the time.

Hmmmmm.

[steve2470]

19. somehow I missed this post

I could enjoy that work too. However, I definitely would not be the life of the party.

Hope you're recouping well from your surgery!