My God Are People Really That Vile?

[Trunk Monkey]

I ran into a person I knew (slightly) in high school on FB, we “friended” each other and talked at little bit at one point I think she may have been coming on to me but I made it crystal clear that I was happily married and after making some snarky remarks about some perceived suggestive comments I had made she backed off.

So about 2 months ago she “unfriended” me and I asked her if I had done something to offend her. She told me it wasn’t personal just that she felt that some of my “friends” were haters and she didn’t want to read their crap on my wall. At the time she made it clear that she wanted to keep in touch and that she still considered me a “friend”. So I PM’d her a few times and basically kept friendly relations (I thought) up.

Yesterday something she posted popped up on my “wall”. I commented and all hell broke loose.

To be clear she commented a line from “Already gone” about living your life in chains and not knowing you have the key and my comment was “And I’mmmmmmm already gone”.

Two hours after I commented I got a PM from her asking WTF was wrong W/ me, telling what a vile bastard I was and calling me a bully and telling me that I was “mean”. She ended the PM by telling me that she wanted nothing to do with me and had absolutely no interest in my opinion on anything. She also told me I should have gotten the hint when she “unfriended” me (even though she told me at the time that it wasn’t personal and explicitly stated that she want to keep in contact with me? I must be denser than I thought not to have picked up those signals) but since I didn’t I was now blocked.

It’s not like I had a lot vested in this “friendship” any way and I am positive I am better off w/out her ever marginally “in my life” but the viciousness of her attack just floored me. I’m left wondering what in the hell I ever did to offend her that badly. Based on some of the things she told me I’m convinced that she’s a little unbalanced (to say the least) but my God she just started spewing venom out of nowhere.

I think the main reason it unsettled me so much is because I’m now left wondering did I really do something vile enough to piss someone off that badly? And if I did, what?

In her case I guess I’ll never know.

[nadine_mn]

1. as someone who constantly overanalyzes everything...I can see why you would wonder

but from an objective standpoint...she seems to be the one out of line.

There is a reason you only slightly knew her in school.

Walk away from this with the knowledge you did nothing wrong.

[bemildred]

2. You appear to have run into someones rich fantasy life.

Yes, people are that vile, not all of them, but some.

[Trunk Monkey]

3. Away from the internet I’m a pretty reclusive person

Away from the internet I’m a pretty reclusive person and people like this woman are a big part of the reason why.

If I’m not required to do so I don’t start conversations with people. As far as I’m concerned the world falls into two classes of people my family and people I associate with because courtesy or my job requirements demand it.

People, like the woman, in the OP (my next door neighbor for 5 years growing up BTW) have treated me like shit for most of my life after a while I just said the Hell with it and dropped out.

I interact with people on the internet because to a degree it’s on my terms. I limit how much you actually know about me

The point I’m trying to make is that I do everything in my power to limit the kind of interactions I described in the OP. So, when one happens I really take it personally. I also tend to process events like that by talking about them hence this thread.

Had this woman had the decency to simply tell me that she’d rather not keep in touch two months ago I would have walked away and that would have been the end of it. Instead she tells me we’re still “friends” and now it’s somehow my fault I didn’t”get the hint?”

[IrishAyes]

19. Going online to discuss something among cyber friends is, I think, a wonderfully healthy way

to handle things. And it's not egotistical either. For one thing, we also share the benefit of learning from you.

As I said before, that woman sounds borderline to me. One reason nobody can make peace with them is because they always move the goal posts to keep their game going. Like Republicans.

[goodword]

4. Just Because She Can

The internet gives people more confidence to act like idiots because there's no face to face contact. She'd probably never act this way if she were standing right in front of you.

Write this nitwit off and be glad you didn't "invest" more into her.

[LeftofObama]

5. I find the more I know people I don't tend to like them very much.

I've rekindled old friendships from the past and after a little while I remember why the friendship ended in the first place. Now I just tend to give a slight nod of recognition and move on.

This person is not worth your time and if you spend time wondering, "what did I do wrong", your emotions are being played exactly like she intended them to be played.

[sweetexile]

17. observations

Boy! Your remarks are right on target-although it can be pleasant to reminisce briefly usually too much time has passed to even remotely consider picking up from "where we left off" thirty odd years ago! Some do put too much time into another's responses in this format-I still depend on the phone because this is just too casual-is this cheating? So be it!

[no_hypocrisy]

6. You and she have divurgent philosophies.

If she can't accept you and your viewpoints without being threatened, then it's her loss.

[Shagbark Hickory]

7. The Facebook really brings out the best in people, dudnit?

[Dash87]

8. That's really weird.

I can't understand how that comment could possibly be perceived as offensive. Isn't it just the lyrics to a song?

People aren't normally like this. That's not even close to a normal reaction is what I mean. She sounds a little unhinged.

[Shankapotomus]

9. I'm not sure but

let me see if I can put this together.

She, possibly, was flirting with you? Check.

When you make it clear you're married, she counters by referencing some "perceived suggestive comments" you uttered? Check.

She then finally unfriends you under a dubious excuse? Check.

Then you post “And I’mmmmmmm already gone” to her post and she freaks out? Check. Check.

I could be totally off on this but my initial guess is she thought you were using the song lyrics to taunt her with your unavailability, “And I’mmmmmmm already gone”, being taken as a "Ha Ha. You can't have me." If she was seriously flirting, the rebuff might have pissed her off. And if it was just friend flirting, she might have been concerned about it being taken as a serious gesture on her part, inviting all sorts of conclusions about her. Either way, the purpose of quietly un-friending you may have been intended as insurance against unflattering interpretations of her motivations toward you. In other words, you can't be accused of being attracted to someone you've un-friended.

She may have been hyper-sensitive to giving unrequited gestures, whether intended or unintended, and “And I’mmmmmmm already gone” was the trigger.

[Trunk Monkey]

10. To be honest I never thought of that NT

[IrishAyes]

12. From what I read here,

She sounds like a real loony. Don't worry about it. People like that would attack a saint if thwarted in the least. You're well shed of her, but WE on DU are blessed to know you.

If you still care the least little bit, read up on borderline personalities. She might be a classic. And let me assure you, there's absolutely no way ANYONE can get along with or accommodate those people with any success. So count your blessings with a clear conscience.

[ConcernedCanuk]

13. "borderline personalities" - boy, did you nail the last 7 years

.
.
.

of my life. . . .

and your statement:

" She might be a classic. And let me assure you, there's absolutely no way ANYONE can get along with or accommodate those people with any success"

is also bang on -

A woman ineligible for entry into Canada approached me almost ten years ago to find her a property in Canada which I did.

I did not know she was ineligible at the time, found out later.

Introduced her to a few friends of mine that I'd had some of them for decades. Within a year or two, they were no longer my friends, they were "hers".

Ended up living on her property 2 years later, her fiance/boyfriend helped move me into a trailer she had allowed me to store there (a 30+ acre farm).

Shortly afterwards, he departed, and a marriage suggestion popped up I almost went for, not to live with her, but on the property.

Went so far as to get a marriage licence, but by the time the licence arrived, I had decided that I did not want to be tied to this women.

All hell broke loose, - she cut off my hydro, chased any friends/visitors I had, and trashed my reputation all over town.

She kept telling people after that she wanted me to move out of there, - well recently - I did.

My belongings are still there, and she is doing everything she can to stop me from getting them.

Over $3000 spent on lawyers so far to handle legal issues she created, more for related expenses, bought a home (an unexpected inheritance allowed me to do that) and so on -

She ain't letting go - If she had any sense at all, she would back off with the legal garbage, give me easy access to remove my belongings, but that is not the way these people work.

But I be preaching to the choir methinks.

I hope the OP pays attention to your last comment.

"So count your blessings with a clear conscience"

I am!!!

CC

[IrishAyes]

20. Don't mistake this as male-bashing; I actually like most guys, having had brothers.

But when my ex and I split, on the day the divorce became final I sent him a greeting card quoting MLK (who was quoting an old spiritual): Free at last, Free at last! Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!

Some people mistake me for a hard hearted bitch because I don't suffer hysterics when they get abusive. I just say FU and walk off, happy as a lark. That's the best revenge anyway, to live happily regardless.

later:

Oh, and the night he left, I promised to pack his clothes for him to pick up later. As soon as he was out of sight, I piled them all in the dirt driveway (we lived out in the boonies) and set them on fire. Pretty soon the volunteer fire department showed up, and they thought it was the funniest thing they'd ever seen. I went inside to fetch the beer, and we all sat around and watched it burn. They were still laughing when they left about half an hour later. When I hear a person begging someone to come back to them, I just want to slap them silly for their own good.

[47of74]

18. Yeah, and if she hasn't already done the honers, I'd block her

[jimmyolsenblues]

14. There is nothing good about facebook

If you have a girl , stay off facebook cause either you will be tempted or you being happy will tempt you to look.
If you don't have a girl, facebook will not help you get a girl.

If you are a girl, facebook is all yours, its perfect for you cause its the same crap every day about how you want to complain and your man is so sick and tired of hearing about your complaining.

My girl caught me yesterday in a vocal loop:
1) I am sorry
2) Its okay

I just kept repeating myself and I wasn't even listening cause I find it boring to listen to her complain.

[ConcernedCanuk]

15. I disagree with - "There is nothing good about facebook"

.
.
.

I only have 77 friends, all but 3 are family or friends, some I have been out of contact with for decades.

School chums I found from 40 years ago would have pretty much been impossible without facebook.

Even have a few ex-girlfriends in there who I remember fondly - "break-ups" were not messy.

Depends how you utilize it.

When someone "unfriends" me - I do not chase them.

Nor do I get upset.

Had a couple do that, no loss in my opinion.

Facebook can be a good thing, but I stress,

It's how you utilize it.

CC

[No Vested Interest]

21. I agree that facebook can be useful for keeping in touch

with out-of-town family and friends.
I'm grateful for photos of young and younger generations, about whom I'd know nothing of their everyday lives and celebrations and illnesses.
Yes, some of it's silly, but I can move right by that.
I make it a point to not post controversial stuff, and try to overlook their political stuff that's not my cup of tea. (so to speak.)

[DavidG_WI]

22. Facebook is useless.

I only got one because during the Wisconsin recalls the other vols wanted it and when I joined OFA they pretty much required it, though I never used it, anything I wanted to know was told to me by another vol and anything I needed to get out could be done more effectively via mass text or email.

I haven't even logged into it in like 8 months, and only then for a contest on a site I frequent because they decided to "open it up to social media" instead of limiting the contest to just forum members like all previous contests they've had.

[stockbrokers]

23. Loners

i read........................................




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[steve2470]

24. ? nt