"Is there an upside to having no social life?"

[shenmue]

Yes, they actually called the article that.

http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20171011-is-there-an-upside-to-having-no-social-life

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. I haven't had a social life in decades and I'm quite comfortable

as a social leper. I don't have to worry about whether I'll have a date or get invited to a party on Saturday night because I know I won't, so I can put on my pajamas and settle down with my cats and Netflix and not have to make conversation with anybody or try to look good. I won't have to stand awkwardly and ignored in a corner near the refreshments, sipping a glass of cheap wine and munching chips 'n' dip, checking my watch and wondering whether anyone would notice if I left (probably not). As far as I'm concerned it's all upside.

[shenmue]

2. 'Kay, if it suits you

[sprinkleeninow]

7. Hi, dear heart!

I like being by me, myself and I.

I did all that in my earlier social flutterby days, and now I'm selective in where I go and why.

Way back, husband's family of his mom and two aunts, one would have Christmas Eve and one of the others Christmas Day dinner. The third one would have the whole crew over between Christmas and New Year's for another humongous Christmas like dinner. They all made hundreds of different cookies, and even with shipping us off to go home with food and cookies, we'd be treated to those cookies into February. Ai yi yi! Enuff is enuff!

We loved each other, but one year we had fancy hors d'ourves Christmas Eve instead of the gigantic Swedish smorgasbord (yikes), and changed Christmas Day to just go visiting. No over-stuffing on roast dinner with too many trimmings.

It got ridiculous. I had family too, and everyone wanted you at their place.

Now we have no family here, only a few friends and acquaintances. And I don't mind!

[sinkingfeeling]

15. Ditto, only with dogs.

[fairfaxvadem]

3. Can totally relate...

Was constantly on the go through mid-30s. Out every night but 1 or 2. But when I dialed back, found life way more manageable. Now, I’m careful about my social commitments. I have a few friends who are still constantly “doing” something. Wears me out just listening to them. But, I am a social person and have some very good friends and try to meet up with them as much as I can. Honestly, I have to be in the mood anymore.

When I’m home with no travel and no other “have to’s“ it’s like a load is lifted. I can spend a lot of time on my own and not give it a second thought.

Being alone is far different than being lonely.

[mitch96]

4. "I have a few friends who are still constantly doing something. Wears me out"

One of my good friends is like that.. If she is not running mach 2 with her hair on fire it's a slow day.. The three of us like it slow.. Me, myself and I.... retired with 6 saturdays and one sunday...
Do what I want when I want.

"I can spend a lot of time on my own and not give it a second thought. Being alone is far different than being lonely. "

I can totally relate to that also.. I grew up pretty much by myself and I'm happy in my own skin. I hear people say they just HAVE to have someone to be with/talk to all the time..
That would kinda freak me out.. I like my alone time too much... Ironically both of my parents were loners also... So I guess it's a family tradition??
m

[fairfaxvadem]

10. I think we get here from many places...

I’m the youngest of 6, but was alone w/parents by age 12. Could come and go as I please, basically. Had loads of friends and parents complained about my never being home. But I was always happy when the siblings came home.

My work requires a lot of travel, meetings, social crap, so maybe part of this is just burnout I’m sure. Friends and family have become very understanding, and I’m grateful. I had the last two weeks off and I spent most of it by myself. Not all by no means but I was very picky about what I did and when. Otherwise, I stayed home doing my own thing and so happy to be left to myself.

My oldest sister pointed out that she and I are introverts and that introverts are not anti-social, they just need their space and time alone to recharge the old batteries to re-engage with the world. I agree with that.

[TheDebbieDee]

5. The upside to having no social life is having a no drama lifestyle...

You don't get wrapped up in other people's problems, you don't have to deal with their personalities, no petty fights, no bickering, you make your own plans.

Everything's good!

[silverweb]

6. A *major* upside!

I love the drama-free life.

When there's a desire for human interaction, there are plenty of options to choose from, but solitude is precious.

[sprinkleeninow]

8. Thank you!

[safeinOhio]

16. I'm with you on that.

I try to avoid drama at all cost. That includes holiday get togethers, movies and tv shows that include drama.

[mitch96]

17. no drama lifestyle...

After working in hospitals for over 40 years it's refreshing not to have daily "drama" in my life. When people get sick there is always drama. On the floors, ER, Dr/Nurse interaction.......
Now I get the 411 from friends on the phone and don't miss it a bit..
m

[msongs]

9. me myself I - room to breathe from joan armatrading....

[backtoblue]

19. Love her smile!

That came out the year I was born. Love it! Thanks for sharing, I have a new earworm for the day!

[rusty quoin]

11. I use to dress like her by accident. But I thought a lot like her.

O

[Skittles]

12. stupid experiment

it's like those people who try to live on minimum wage for a month and act like that makes them know what it means to struggle

[Thekaspervote]

13. A 30+ year career in the medical profession changed me

I loved all of my nursing jobs. Worked ER, a lot of medical flight... love love loved it! It taught me sooo much about myself and human nature in general. In that kind of intense medical environment, you have to have some close fellow professionals to survive. Someone with the same intensity that understands why you do what you do and what makes you "tick." Now that I am retired, I look back on those days with great pride, happy to have been a part of something that was greater than myself, but now have no need to continue that frenetic pace. I keep touch with some of my colleagues who like me are now quietly introverted, happy and at peace with solitude and a very simple life style

I'm a bit of an insomniac, but don't rail against it, instead I relish the utter quiet and solitude of the dark night

[no_hypocrisy]

14. Several things.

Decades ago when I was a teen, staying home on Saturday night instead of "dating" or going to parties was great. I looked forward to watching the CBS TV line-up of All in the Family, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart, and Carol Burnett. When I was in school, I chose not to join cliques, not the other way around.

Fast forward to now. I have people I know from certain groups to which I belong. I usually leave as soon as an affair is over and don't socialize. I have things to do. When I exercise, it's on a treadmill, nothing with teams and sports. And I live alone. I don't have to share a refrigerator or a bathroom. OK, maybe the place would be a tad more tidy if I were cohabitating, but it's manageable.

[LWolf]

18. It's that inevitable

conventional wisdom that extroversion is "normal" and introversion is not.

We know that socializing is draining, and we need downtime. This author is surprised to find that being alone can feel good and reduce stress. We're not surprised.

She also seems suprised to find something positive about being "bored." She's using the wrong word. "Bored" is a negative term used to blame something or someone for one's own lack of motivation or engagement.

I'm never "bored." I'm also very rarely lonely. I understand that most people wouldn't like, couldn't handle, the amount of isolation that I thrive on, but I don't judge them for that. I just don't want them to judge me for being "different."

Maybe this article is a small step in the right direction, to notice that it's not a bad thing to be okay with being alone?