The cost of being a loner

[left-of-center2012]

After a divorce 25 years ago; after three different friends over time borrowed several hundred dollars and none of them attempted to repay me; I just withdrew into myself.

Thinking I’m going to end up getting hurt or used, so why extend the effort to form friendships, relationships.
And I became a recluse, hermit, loner.

I live in a one bedroom apartment, in the city. I pretty much stay home except to go grocery shopping; and increasingly to the doctors and pharmacies.
I’m 70 now. Disabled. Walk short distances with a cane. Use Uber to get about.

Haven’t needed, wanted friends. No one close.

And now my doctor wants me to have a medical exam where I’ll be sedated for about three hours.
I must have someone drive me to the exam; wait for me; and drive me home.

I have no one who(m) I can ask to drive me and wait.

I can’t arrive in a cab, or Uber, or bus. The doc insists on me having someone drive me, and who will wait. Fo insurance reasons, they can’t risk me trying to get home alone in a cab, etc and possibly falling, etc as I’ll be recovering from the anesthesia.

I’ve asked a couple people I don’t really know if they would do it for money;
and hopefully one will do it for $50.

The cost of being a ‘loner’.

[teach1st]

1. It is a cost

I end up ignoring probably important procedures for the same reason.

[Warpy]

2. You live in a city

so look through the Yellow Pages, call Elder Services or even call your doctor's office. A lot of us are in the same boat (I am, old and sick, family all gone, friends moved away) so I take a cab to surgeries and a specialty van home. I think the difference is the van driver knows enough to take you back to the hospital if you're not conscious when you get home.

You have a lot of company out there. That's why those services are in business. The cab there is cheaper, but they will release you to the medical transport vans to get you home.

My parents lived out in the sticks in Florida. I don't know how the hell they managed. I live in the inner city so I know services are there when I need them.

Getting old sucks.

[dembotoz]

3. my best and pretty much only friend and i are both rather reclusive.

i do have some family around if needed but she does not.

i am her support system. a "burden" i bear with a smile.
I am the one who drives to and from the doc for THOSE tests
I am the one who feeds and checks in on her cats when she is away on business....rather often actually.


I have been pondering this as of late because my other close friend yes other as in the only other....close friend died just over a month ago. she on the other hand had a family the size and scope would have given the tv family waltons a run for the money.
Her parents retired to a bigger house so they could more easily hold more family events. was always invited to this and that event and quite frankly they intimidated the hell out of me.....i would beg off because that is what us loners do....her funeral was a larger but tasteful family centered event as i would have anticipated it would be

I do not think my remaining friend would want a service cause i think she is afraid i might be the only one there........hmmmm
i on the other hand don't really care if anyone shows up for mine...so why bother with it

[left-of-center2012]

4. "I do not think my remaining friend would want a service"

I've prepaid for my cremation and my ashes will be sent to a niece out of state who will scatter them according to my wishes.