Nursing homes and loners/introverts

[BuelahWitch]

I find myself in an odd situation for a loner. Last year I was diagnosed with 4th stage breast cancer which had spread to several different areas in my body, one of which was my left hip bone. Since I could no longer care for myself (I lived at the top of a third story walk up at the time), I was placed in a nursing home. After getting treatment, it was determined that I could move into an assisted living situation. In this case, I have a kitchenette in my room, and am expected to do most things on my own. I wanted to get an apartment, but the insurance company said no, that I'm a fall risk. So I am here for who knows how long.
I don't have a problem with this for the most part. What is hard is that I am expected to go out to the dining room for meals. Even though I'm only in my early fifties, I like the residents. But there are times I just don't want to deal with people. Sometimes I want to do activities, mostly I don't. When I have appointments it wears me the hell out, so when I have a down day all I want to do is sleep and veg, not play bingo.
Just wanted to vent to people who would understand how I'm feeling.

[applegrove]

1. In my experience with parents and grandparents nursing

homes don't expect people to be alike. They get to know how you roll and then try and enable you to roll that very way. Think of the number of residents each staff person has dealt with over the years of their job. And remember that nursing homes are great levelers: all people go there. So they have likely seen the very introverted again and again over the years (unlike people from my neck of the woods who did not comprehend let alone understand my introverted self). I would not expect any type of judgement from the staff at the nursing home. Good luck with your routine.

[ellenrr]

2. I DO understand... I would feel

similarly.
I live in a senior housing building.
Every time I leave my apt to go out, I pass someone.
I must interact.
Even tho I find most people here are friendly and kind, most of the time I DON'T WANT to interact with anyone.
I want to go from my apt to my car without saying hi to someone.

then there are the people who would say hi yesterday, but today (for god knows what reason) they will ignore my hi. So then I worry about did I do something wrong. I KNOW I didn't, I know it is their problem, but being overly sensitive, that is what I do.

So I commiserate with you. I wish you the best, and wish you a better situation which will better suit your nature.

[BuelahWitch]

3. I do that when my greetings don't get acknowledged too. n/t

[catchnrelease]

4. Having to rely on those who don't understand

is really difficult for introverts. My Mom is an introvert like me, she's 89 and lives with my brother and his wife who are both extroverts. They are constantly trying to get her to go out to events with them, and worry that 'she's not getting out enough'. I have told them over and over that she doesn't want to go out, and it's not an enjoyable thing for her. I've even sent them articles on introverts so they don't think I'm just making it up.

I think they are finally getting the hint, or have become resigned that she is just not going to do it. But they still complain that she stays in her 'mom cave' as they call her room, when they have big family gatherings at their house. She prefers people to just come in and visit with her one or two at a time.

I hope that you can get the people that are around you to eventually realize that you need a lot of down time. The last thing you need is extra stress of trying to be sociable when you don't want to.