Loners
Related: About this forumProbably not news to anyone here
But I thought this was a nice, concise list of introvert characteristics to share with those that don't get us. (They may not like all of them, lol)
http://higherperspective.com/2015/01/introverts.html?utm_source=cleo&ts_pid=2
silverweb
(16,402 posts)[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]I related to almost every one. Good list.
Hoyt
(54,770 posts)talk in most cases, especially work related, dealing with repair folks, etc.
From List: "Writing is easier than talking for us sometimes. Email is the best because it helps us get the thoughts out of our heads without being interrupted. Thinking about giving us a call? Try a text or email instead."
Interestingly, I detest talking on the phone. I do it, but I can remember a time when I'd drive 50 miles to see if a store had something, rather than calling. Luckily, in a lot of cases now, I can email or check inventory online.
The internet has really improved my life.
PS: Luckily I took typing in high school, and can usually type faster than I can talk.
catchnrelease
(2,014 posts)That's the worst! I used to kind of 'poo-poo' people who texted until I had to do it a couple of years ago and a light bulb went on--hey I can communicate without actually talking on the phone! One of these days I will actually get a text plan for the cell phone and that will be perfect.
I have a good friend that is an editor, who says she loves getting my emails. Says they are more like the letters that people used to write.
silverweb
(16,402 posts)[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]There are only a couple of people I actually enjoy talking on the phone with, and that's not often.
When I worked at a job where I had to be on the phone a lot (before cell phones, texting, and email), the first thing I did when I got home was unplug my phone. It drove my mother crazy - who has always been a phone yakker - but I just couldn't handle hearing it ring one more time.
Gotta love email. Read it when you feel like it, answer when you're in the mood.
silverweb
(16,402 posts)I avoid talking on the phone whenever possible.
davidsmith75
(11 posts)I also often wonder what the relation is of introvertness to social anxiety?
My sister is very shy, has been all her life, she is a loner as well - does not even want a relationship because she says it would be too tiring just to be around someone else.
I don't want to feel pity for her, but I do have this strong sense that she is missing out.
I hope not though, maybe her inner world is better than the actual world, and so much more fun!
catchnrelease
(2,014 posts)Shy, introverted, highly sensitive etc are terms that kind of get used but are not the same. Shyness does have to do with social anxiety, and has to do with self consciousness when around people. May even have problems with one on one interactions as well as in groups. According to what I've read, it has nothing to do with energy, rather is more a fear of what others think of you, a lack of confidence.
Introversion has to do with temperament--how they get their energy. Introverts get energized from more inside their heads. They are not necessarily withdrawn or quiet, and can enjoy socializing with friends. Just not too many or too much small talk. If we have to be in a situation with a lot of people, then it is exhausting mentally and we need time, even like a day or more, to recover. Usually don't care what others think of us.
Introverts and extroverts can be shy or highly sensitive, so it's kind of confusing when you're not aware of the differences in all of these characteristics. I think I'm about as introverted as you can get, but still love to get together with close friends for dinner or other events. But if I have to go to something with a lot of people that I don't know well, and sit and listen to chit chat, I don't feel anxious, my head wants to explode from boredom. I'm lucky in that my husband understands 'how I am' and doesn't take offense that I need a lot of quiet/alone time.
You say that your sister says being with someone else is too tiring. That does sound like an introvert. I bet there is a lot going on in her head that you aren't aware of. Having said all of that it's possible that she might also be depressed or is shy on top of being introverted and is NOT happy with her life. My closest friend who was also an introvert, friendly, cheerful, etc. also suffered from depression. You might do a little reading about introversion and then talk to her about it. If she sees that you 'get it' and are not trying to fix her, or cheer her up, she might enjoy talking about how she thinks or feels.
bemildred
(90,061 posts)I have a brother who is shy but not an introvert, he is very social when he feels accepted, but has great difficulty when under social pressure to perform or assert himself.
I on the other hand am not particularly shy, I tend to dominate conversations if I don't watch it, once I get going on something, but I am most definitely an introvert. I go weeks and see nobody but my wife and the clerks at the store. And I like that fine. I made it that way.
But anyway, we are very fond of each other, that brother and I, but drive each other nuts.
I had another one who was full Type A and it took us a long time to figure out how to get along, but we did. Boundaries.