Coping with Divorce or Separation

salparadise1000

(48 posts) Mon Jun 4, 2012, 02:08 AM Jun 2012

This message was self-deleted by its author

This message was self-deleted by its author (salparadise1000) on Thu Jun 7, 2012, 11:38 PM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

3 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

This message was self-deleted by its author (Original Post) salparadise1000 Jun 2012 OP

Depends on the nature of your 'agreement,' elleng Jun 2012 #1

open it up. let the rules be known ahead of the time. seabeyond Jun 2012 #2

Even if you are in agreement that the marriage is over, SheilaT Jun 2012 #3

elleng

(136,365 posts)

1. Depends on the nature of your 'agreement,'

Reply to salparadise1000 (Original post)

Mon Jun 4, 2012, 02:38 AM

Jun 2012

how explicit, what is actually expected by each party. Clearly 'cheating' is not a legal term here, so it really depends on your 'understanding,' but certain acts might violate the laws of your State.

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)

2. open it up. let the rules be known ahead of the time.

Reply to salparadise1000 (Original post)

Mon Jun 4, 2012, 08:20 AM

Jun 2012

then, no worries.

SheilaT

(23,156 posts)

3. Even if you are in agreement that the marriage is over,

Reply to salparadise1000 (Original post)

Thu Jun 7, 2012, 02:52 PM

Jun 2012

it's best to take the high ground and not do anything that would otherwise be considered "cheating" until you've at least separated.

Also, if you're staying together because of the kids, how would they react to your "cheating"? How old are they? Have you told them anything yet? The answers to those questions matter.

Meanwhile, my personal advice, knowing nothing at all of the details of your situation, is to seek legal advice, and move in the direction of legal separation or divorce as expeditiously as is reasonable.