Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

cksmithy

(464 posts)
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 05:53 PM 16 hrs ago

My older sister died 20 years ago today.

Even though she was only four years older than me, she was more like my mother than my our real mother. She was my friend, my confident and always had time to talk to me. She had a very rough childhood (we both did), but she could make me laugh and we could cry together. I miss her so much. We saw The Beatles four times, twice in one day. She was only 59 when she died, complications from her MS medications. When new medications are available and they talk about side effects, including death, it is true. Her doctors said her brain cancer was directly related to her meds.

I just wanted to honor her. I have never started a discussion, always respond to other member's post, but my sister was a wonderful person who I miss and love everyday.

48 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
My older sister died 20 years ago today. (Original Post) cksmithy 16 hrs ago OP
Deepest condolences. SheltieLover 16 hrs ago #1
Thank you. cksmithy 15 hrs ago #8
Sending hugs on this sad anniversary date. May the livetohike 16 hrs ago #2
Thank you cksmithy 15 hrs ago #9
Wonderful tribute, thanks.. Permanut 16 hrs ago #3
Thank you. I always think of my sister, especially when I hear Twist and Shout sung by the Beatles. cksmithy 15 hrs ago #10
That's good for a smile every time. Permanut 13 hrs ago #34
You have honored your sister's memory very well. brer cat 16 hrs ago #4
Thank you. cksmithy 15 hrs ago #11
I hear you KT2000 15 hrs ago #5
Yes we were. cksmithy 15 hrs ago #7
"I just wanted to honor her." And so you have. 3catwoman3 15 hrs ago #6
Thank you. cksmithy 15 hrs ago #12
Thank you for sharing this. It means so much delisen 15 hrs ago #13
Thank you, she did bring warmth to me. I light a candle for her every year, a little warmth. cksmithy 15 hrs ago #14
Thank you for this testimonial, cksmithy. calimary 14 hrs ago #15
Thank you. She is definitely frolicking, she took her tap shoes with her. cksmithy 13 hrs ago #27
Condolences. Your post was a lovely tribute and I believe your sister is smiling. Best. c-rational 14 hrs ago #16
Thank you. cksmithy 13 hrs ago #23
I am sorry for your loss. stage left 14 hrs ago #17
Thank you. Yes she was. Second born, first daughter, she was a real mom to me and my three younger siblings. cksmithy 13 hrs ago #24
I am so so sorry irisblue 14 hrs ago #18
Thank you. cksmithy 13 hrs ago #25
So sorry IbogaProject 14 hrs ago #19
Thank you. cksmithy 13 hrs ago #26
To beloved sisters! Wild blueberry 14 hrs ago #20
Thank you. Her memory is a blessing I keep close to my heart. cksmithy 13 hrs ago #28
Your beloved sister Clouds Passing 14 hrs ago #21
Thank you. I light a candle for her every year too. cksmithy 13 hrs ago #29
Reminded me of my older sister Jarqui 14 hrs ago #22
Thank you. I don't think anybody could hear the Beatles at a Beatles concert, but it was fun and a wonderful memory. cksmithy 13 hrs ago #30
I am sorry for your loss, but know, she'll always be with you, in heart and spirit. Fla Dem 13 hrs ago #31
Thank you. cksmithy 13 hrs ago #33
You were blessed to have a wonderful sister Grim Chieftain 13 hrs ago #32
Thank you. cksmithy 13 hrs ago #35
Sending you hugs and warm thoughts ❤️ MLAA 13 hrs ago #36
Thank you. cksmithy 1 hr ago #43
I am sorry for your loss. It sounds as if she was a lovely big sister. The fact LoisB 12 hrs ago #37
Dear cksmithy, I am so sorry for your loss. MIButterfly 12 hrs ago #38
Thank you. cksmithy 1 hr ago #44
That is a beautiful tribute DeeDeeNY 12 hrs ago #39
Thank you. cksmithy 59 min ago #45
You were very lucky to have such a sister. She sounds amazing. applegrove 12 hrs ago #40
Thank you. cksmithy 58 min ago #46
Thank you Dear_Prudence 11 hrs ago #41
Thank you. cksmithy 57 min ago #47
Really beautiful tribute to your sister JudyM 8 hrs ago #42
Thank you. cksmithy 56 min ago #48

livetohike

(24,069 posts)
2. Sending hugs on this sad anniversary date. May the
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 06:00 PM
16 hrs ago

good memories you have of your sister always make you smile.

cksmithy

(464 posts)
10. Thank you. I always think of my sister, especially when I hear Twist and Shout sung by the Beatles.
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 07:03 PM
15 hrs ago

KT2000

(22,029 posts)
5. I hear you
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 06:36 PM
15 hrs ago

My sister was 8 years older and was a mother to me. She taught me everything. Like you, it is still like it was yesterday, the hole is so deep.
Weren't we so lucky to have had our sisters.

3catwoman3

(28,820 posts)
6. "I just wanted to honor her." And so you have.
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 06:58 PM
15 hrs ago

It will soon be 48 years since my brother, younger by 3 years and my only sibling, died much too young at 23 in a scuba diving adventure that went awry. We were very close.

Although the sharpness of the grief softens with time, it’s always there in various ways. I have come to think of it as a biological loneliness.

In memory of our siblings -

delisen

(7,278 posts)
13. Thank you for sharing this. It means so much
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 07:09 PM
15 hrs ago

I honor your sister. I am glad too know about her life and her caring. I can feel the warmth she brought to you, and to the world.

cksmithy

(464 posts)
14. Thank you, she did bring warmth to me. I light a candle for her every year, a little warmth.
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 07:12 PM
15 hrs ago

calimary

(89,270 posts)
15. Thank you for this testimonial, cksmithy.
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 07:37 PM
14 hrs ago

And I’m so sorry for your loss.

I’m sure your sister appreciates this tribute you wrote, wherever her spirit is frolicking now.

cksmithy

(464 posts)
24. Thank you. Yes she was. Second born, first daughter, she was a real mom to me and my three younger siblings.
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 08:33 PM
13 hrs ago

Wild blueberry

(8,182 posts)
20. To beloved sisters!
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 07:57 PM
14 hrs ago

One of the best gifts in the universe.
May her memory be a blessing. Thank you for honoring her, and your connection.

Jarqui

(10,853 posts)
22. Reminded me of my older sister
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 08:22 PM
14 hrs ago

who was and thankfully still is more like a mother to all of my siblings.
She sat in the front row of a Beatles concert ... but couldn't hear them.
We did not have as tough a time growing up - though it had its challenges.
But she's always been there for all of us and still is.
We've been very blessed to have such a person our entire lives.

cksmithy

(464 posts)
30. Thank you. I don't think anybody could hear the Beatles at a Beatles concert, but it was fun and a wonderful memory.
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 08:43 PM
13 hrs ago

Fla Dem

(27,474 posts)
31. I am sorry for your loss, but know, she'll always be with you, in heart and spirit.
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 08:48 PM
13 hrs ago

I still miss my Mom although it's been almost 50 years since she's been gone, I was in my late 20's. I still talk to her, small comments, not big conversations, but it keeps her alive in my heart.

All the best to you.

LoisB

(12,512 posts)
37. I am sorry for your loss. It sounds as if she was a lovely big sister. The fact
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 09:30 PM
12 hrs ago

that you posted to honor her says good things about you and her.

MIButterfly

(2,286 posts)
38. Dear cksmithy, I am so sorry for your loss.
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 09:35 PM
12 hrs ago

I extend to you my condolences. Your sister sounds like a beautiful person and she will always be in your heart and memory.

With deepest sympathy and much love,
MIButterfly

DeeDeeNY

(3,910 posts)
39. That is a beautiful tribute
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 09:42 PM
12 hrs ago

I lost my sister 10 years ago to pancreatic cancer, and I still miss her all the time.

applegrove

(130,930 posts)
40. You were very lucky to have such a sister. She sounds amazing.
Mon Feb 2, 2026, 09:49 PM
12 hrs ago

So sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing her with us.

JudyM

(29,638 posts)
42. Really beautiful tribute to your sister
Tue Feb 3, 2026, 01:33 AM
8 hrs ago

Touched my heart. I always wished I could've had a sister, and I can imagine how nice it was to have yours from the bit you wrote.

Wishing you lots of warm memories to help you keep feeling her spirit in your heart.


Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Bereavement»My older sister died 20 y...