i'm on a similar wave only regarding my mom

[orleans]

passed the year and a half mark and i'm still so messed up
i'm dying inside
can't afford professional help either
can't seem to focus
so damn sad
miss her so tragically much
i want my life back
i want her back
and i just can't seem to adjust/adapt or whatever the hell it is i'm supposed to be doing.

i've also wondered where you've been
unfortunately, i think i'm on the verge of losing my star as well

don't know what else to tell you. you're not alone, that's for sure. but that is hardly any comfort. at least i know it isn't for me--it doesn't take away the pain, the sting, the ache, the agony. most importantly it doesn't errase the loss.