4 months on Sunday

[imavoter]

I feel worse now than a month in.
I took 2 months off work.
I have been back for 2.
I'm able to compartmentalize my day now
so that I can function during work hours.
Evenings and weekends I'm pretty much a mess.
2 cats and two dogs are keeping me grounded.
But both cats are sick, one with kidney issues.
Rescue pup has ptsd really bad, but seems to be getting used to being part of the pack. Thank goodness for the always happy Catahoula mix 2 year old.
I miss my husband so bad I often feel like I have the flu.
Can't sleep, and if I do don't feel rested.
Grief sucks. And I miss his touch.

[viva la]

1. I'm so sorry. It must be so hard.

I hope the pets get better soon, and that work at least gives some distraction.

[markie]

2. ...

I want to say words but sometimes they are so meaningless... yes grief sucks good that you have comfort from animal friends

I lost my husband/partner almost a month ago and the sadness seems to intensify every day... I've started a journal

...and my sweet chickens just don't offer the comfort I need

keep writing... when people say "I'm sorry for your loss" I want to scream, I say "Yes, me too" what I want is for people to say "tell me about him, tell me what you're feeling" ...very few people have the time

[calimary]

6. Well, how 'bout we do it here?

Tell us about him.

And definitely tell us how you’re feeling. We’ve lately had a few people here sharing their struggle through loss - both of the human kind and the animal kind.

It’s all significant and - well - maybe also helpful as one faces having to soldier on with that heavy load on their hearts. Therapeutic, to share the load, maybe?

And we all can certainly relate.

You are NOT alone trudging through it. Especially in a place like this.

[markie]

11. thank you...

this is imavoter's post and I support her here... I do think more of us should share and find comfort in this group

I want to share my story because DU was one thing my partner and I shared always! Thank you for the suggestion and permission

[imavoter]

9. I do say, yea, me too

4 months in my in-laws don't give a shit,
I have little family left.
His close friends and a couple of mine have been
the most helpful.

Overall, aquantences have moved on.

[IA8IT]

3. Peaks and valleys on the path and every path is different.

Six years in for me. Covid shut down and isolation was as bad as year one. Getting a real hug again from someone makes my day and I hope you have many hugs too. It's still an effort to get out of the house but that's where you find the most hugs.

Peace

[634-5789]

4. Know that you're not alone.

Take what comfort you need, whenever you can. This too shall pass.

[lillypaddle]

5. My heart aches for you

[LittleGirl]

7. My heart breaks for you

I’ve been suffering with grief for several years too.
My baby brother died suddenly in March 2019 and the oldest brother 6 months before that.
A couple of my girlfriends died of cancer and my mother died 2.5 months ago. The grief comes in waves for me. Sometimes it surprises me when it’s so intense.

Sending cyber hugs your way. Writing helps me.

[japple]

8. (((((((imavoter))))))) Sending you a virtual hug. Please know

that the dark days will not last forever. Having lost my husband very suddenly 17 years ago, the thing I remember most about the period after his death is that family and friends (and the angels) held me aloft. I don't know how I would have made it had it not been for others. If you don't have family/friends nearby, try to find a grief counselor or social worker or a bereavement circle where you can talk with others in real time.

[imavoter]

10. Thanks, doing what I can.

I'm just trying to get through the awful.

When I talk to him, I let him know I know
he didn't mean to go, and I'm not upset
with him...but if he wants to help from
beyond to figure this shit out without him,
I would appreciate it.
He would never have left on purpose.
I am an independent person,
but even I underestimated how much you really
do become one.

[markie]

12. the irony of it all

is that the person we really need to help us through it is the one we are missing...

I remember when the funeral home brought the ashes to me, they also brought the beautiful flag for him that the VA gives to Veterans... immediately I wanted to go to him, show him the wonderful flag... it took me a bit to get out of my fog and know that wasn't going to happen

[imavoter]

13. Yes, this.

My best friend is not here to help.

[markie]

14. for you this morning...

I keep this posted to my kitchen door

[imavoter]

15. Thanks.

Just now seeing this.
I'm sure I'll be ok, but I just take each day.
I'm still just trying to get through the awful.

It would help if I could get the headstone
ordered, and house issues settled.
That won't fix the grief, but it would be
less worry.

Also my immediate supervisor is incompetent
AF. Upper management knows. They need to
fucking fire her already, which is long overdue.
I don't wish her ill but she needs to be well somewhere
else. I have to fix all her mistakes, and I'm already tired
from grief.