The high cost of an obit

[left-of-center2012]

Recently a close friend of mine for 37 years died suddenly of a heart attack in California. He grew up in Connecticut where all his family still lives. They placed an obit in two Connecticut newspapers. He had no family in California, where he had lived and worked for 30 years.

Knowing there are people in CA who would want to know about his death, I emailed two newspapers in his area to inquire about placing an obit. Each responded, saying it would cost me about $300. I can't afford that.

Not too long ago I placed a rather lengthy yard sale ad in my local newspaper. It cost me $15 for Fri-Sat-Sun.

I'm thinking this $300 for an obit is an example of how businesses take advantage of grieving friends and family.

[hollysmom]

1. are you sure they were not confused with an advertisement?

I don't remember it costing much at all. and you can place them on-line in many places for free.

[left-of-center2012]

4. Not confused with an advertisement

I emailed the 2 papers asking about placing an obit,
and each said an obit would cost me "X" dollars.

[MiniMe]

2. From what I remember from my father's death...

The death notice was free, but the obit would have cost a lot of $$. We opted for just the death notice.

[Big Blue Marble]

3. Sadly I had to spend more than twice that amount in my community.

Obits with any real content are very expensive,
But remember this then becomes a permanent record for future
generations to find and helps descendants have a better understanding
of their ancestors. That is why I took the long view and spent the money.

I saw it as a contribution to my husband's well-earned legacy.

[GreenPartyVoter]

5. Yes, they are very expensive. We ran two, one for each of my parents. At least the

second time around I was mentally prepared for it.

[Dem2theMax]

6. My Mom died in June of this year. I was shocked at the cost of an obit.

We ONLY put in the basics, and it was $215.00. If I had put in everything I wanted,
it would have been $800.00. Yes, you read that correctly. And I just wanted to list
her family, who in her immediate family had passed before her, things like that.
I am a genealogy nut, and not only did I want to do right by my Mom,
I also wanted to do right by future addicts of this 'hobby' and make sure they could
find the info they were/will be looking for 100 years from now.

And by the way, I am in California. $$$$$$$$$

[orleans]

7. wow--i hate to say it but it appears that the newspapers

found a way to take advantage of the bereaved. and how terrible because you're right--people want to list the family details/survivors, preceded by, etc. and they can't afford to do so.
that's terrible.
i wonder how much papers charge these days for ads.
sorry to hear about your mom. hope you're doing okay.

[Dem2theMax]

8. Thank you for your thoughts on my Mom.

One day I'm OK, the next day all I want to do is cry. Mom was 94 years old. My Dad is still with me,
and he is going to be 93 this month. I've been their 24/7 365 days a year caregiver for years. And as hard as it can be,
I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. I'm trying so hard to focus on the good memories and not dwell on the 'sick,'
as I call it. Mom had a new doctor who screwed up royally, a surgeon who shouldn't have done surgery, and no one
told us of complications that might arise and what to look for. If they had, Mom would still be with us.
All the well-meaning family and friends keep telling me it was 'meant to be,' but that does not comfort me
when I know it could have all been different if only for a few changes. I know I am incredibly lucky to have had my
Mom live to be 94, but I just wish the end of her life could have been different. She went through so much pain
and stress and worry. We all did. At least I know she is at peace. But I miss her more each and every day.

And as for the newspapers, they should be ashamed of themselves for what they do when it comes to obits.
The paper I used, they have an online form, and if you fill in all the questions they ask about your deceased loved one,
I could EASILY see an obit costing $1,500. Being into genealogy actually helped me as I knew the basics I wanted to cover,
but could not stray from that at all. If I fall into a pile of money, hahahahaha, next year on the anniversary of her death,
I might put a memorial in the paper and do it right this time. IF I have the money.

A strange side note - while we were working on the obit, we were also purchasing a burial plot for the cremains of
my Mom, my Dad, and myself, when the time comes. My portion of the burial plot was CHEAPER than the obit I WANTED
to run. Is that insane or what?

[orleans]

9. i recently went through the third yr anniversary of my mom's passing

it was a horrible, horrible month for me. i know i have come a very long way these past three years but generally i am still an emotional mess. i don't cry every day anymore and i think during these 3 years i actually went for a week or two without crying. but it still hits me about every other day. and the crying jags i get into are just agony--they came on a lot this last month as i went mentally spinning, going over so many what-ifs. i talk to my mom a lot and can "hear" in my head what she would tell me (or is telling me), and i ask her for signs to show me she is still with me. the nice thing is that i get these signs/responses from her. still...i so tremendously miss our life together the way it was. i so very much want things back the way they were...

sometimes the longing we have for those we love and the times we've shared is overwhelming.

i'm so sorry about what happened with your mom at the end--it's just not right when things like that happen, families aren't informed, oversights are made, etc.

i was recently telling someone how every night when i take my dog out in the yard for the last time before bed i look up at the moon and think about my mom. and this young girl, maybe around 7 or 8 years old, who was there asked me: "did your mom die?"
i said yes.
"talk to her. she can still hear you. she's still with you and she listens to you. talk to her."
"i do talk to her," i admitted.
"because she loves you. she's always with you and you can always talk to her. she's your mom and she loves you. she's never going to leave you. she's still with you."
i nodded and said, "yes, i believe she still is."

i just wanted to pass that on to you. i believe that beautiful little girl would have told you the same thing.

[proud2BlibKansan]

10. My mom died in 06. Her obit was $980.

Yes, this is an outrageous ripoff.

[McCIoud]

11. +1