I lost my father very suddenly today.

[boston bean]

I am hurting.

[seabeyond]

1. .

i am so sorry. sigh....

[boston bean]

2. thank you, seabeyond.

I am crying in waves. I am in shock. I miss him so much already.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. Oh my dear boston bean...

Of course you're hurting...when death comes suddenly without warning, it's a terrible shock.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

I hope you have family and friends who can help you now and for as long as you need the support.

[boston bean]

4. thank you, peggy

Yes, I do have family to help me through. We will all help eachother through it.

I'm just so darn sad.

[hlthe2b]

5. Oh, my! I am so very sorry, bb

My thoughts go out to you. It has been many years since that one fateful year I lost both parents-- three months apart-- but it still seems at times, like yesterday.

Unexpected loss has to be the worst. Of course you are hurting. You will get lots of DUers who will envelope you in their thoughts and prayers and who want nothing more than to comfort you. While we all may be at a loss for what to say, please feel free to talk about your father and your loss if that helps. We are here for you.

:hugs:

[boston bean]

7. thank you, hlthe2b

He was too young to go. He loved photography, gardening and working on computers. He loved his family very much. He was a very good man.

Loved his family very much. We loved him too.

[NRaleighLiberal]

6. very very sorry to hear that, boston bean.

I went through a similar situation in 2007. It does hurt...but over time, you will heal.

[boston bean]

8. thank you, nraleighliberal

I know it will get easier with time. I am in so much shock, and grieving right now, I just don't know what to do with myself.

I miss him.

[Old and In the Way]

9. Lost my Dad very suddenly, 36 years ago.

The shock of sudden death is really hard in the moment, it left my family numb for weeks. Very sorry for your loss and I hope your memories will be good ones, Best wishes.

[boston bean]

13. thank you, old and in the way

We will have good memories, that is for sure. He was taken suddenly, but we will always remember what a truly loving man he was. Even if he was a pain the ass sometime. He wouldn't mind me writing that about him. In fact, he would relish it. We were always ribbing one another.

[Old and In the Way]

17. That was my dad, too.

36 years later, he's still alive in my mind...yours will be too. I look back with fond memories and I never experienced him as a sick and dying old man. I am sure you'll hold those memories as well. Best wishes in these trying times for you, boston bean.

[snagglepuss]

10. I'm so sorry for such a painful loss.

Your Dad will always be there for you. I firmly believe those we love are always near.

[boston bean]

14. thank you, snagglepuss

I do feel him near. I believe you have it right.

[applegrove]

11. I'm so sorry. vibes to you and yours.

[boston bean]

15. thank you, applegrove

We need all the good vibes we can get. We are all in so much shock right now, we all are just so sad.

[MuseRider]

12. Oh BB I am so very sorry.

It has been a long time since I lost both of my parents. It is so hard when it happens, especially suddenly.

Sending all my good thoughts and feelings to you and lots of virtual hugs.

Your father must have been an awfully good man to have a daughter like you. Please take care of yourself. I wish you peace.

[boston bean]

16. thank you, muserider

for the kind thoughts and hugs. They are much needed right now.

[KC]

18. I'm

so very sorry to hear this bb. I lost
my Dad and best friend and it is a very
difficult thing to get through. I'm glad
that you have good friends and family
around you and just know that we are
always here for you too.

Hugs...
kc

[boston bean]

21. thank you, kc

tough morning. thank you for your thoughts and kind words.

[auntAgonist]

19. I'm so terribly sorry boston bean

I hope that there is someone there with you to comfort you ...

there are no words.

Please accept my heartfelt condolences.



aA
kesha

[boston bean]

22. thank you, auntagonist

Yes, we are all holding eachother up and supporting one another.

[murielm99]

20. I am very sorry. n/t

[boston bean]

23. thank you, muriel

[livetohike]

24. My sympathy to you and your family boston bean

All the good memories you have of your father will be in your heart forever...may they give you comfort and make you smile.... .

[boston bean]

28. thank you, livetohike

I am looking forward to the day I can smile with the memories. Many people have told me I will. Right now, the memories make me hurt.

[livetohike]

35. I know.....

my Dad passed in Nov.2004, but I "hear" him....things he said...and I remember the good times, more than the pain of his final weeks. You will too .

[Paper Roses]

25. My thoughts are with you. May your Dad rest in peace. n/t

[boston bean]

29. thank you, paper roses

When I was visting with him at the hospital, he looked at peace.

I pray he did not suffer.

[PassingFair]

26. Oh no.

Just saw this. So sorry.
It's obvious that you loved him very much.

Someday the happiness you feel at having HAD such a good dad
will outweigh the sorrow of his loss.

[boston bean]

30. thank you, passing fair

yes, my whole family loved him very much. He was so good to all of us.

[Uben]

27. It always hurts to lose a parent

My sincere condolences to you and your family. I lost my dad in 1990 and my wife last month to cancer, so I feel your pain. Nothing we can say will ease your pain, but just know there are people here who are willing to listen and help you through this tragic event.


Uben

[boston bean]

31. thank you, uben

My sincere condolences to you and your family. This just isn't easy, is it. I hope you have family around to help support you and for you to support them. I think that is what is most important, especially in the short term, when you are in shock and grief.

I am dreading picking up the pieces and carrying on with work and daily duties. I'm am almost fearing it, because I just know how difficult it will be. I suppose though, that a routine will help in the long term. A week off work just doesn't seem enough.

[orleans]

32. no, one week hardly seems enough

my mom passed a couple years ago and we hardly had time to prepare. it came on suddenly which had her in the hospital for a week--the doctors said she "might" qualify for hospice (6 months or less) but they implied she might live longer and wouldn't qualify. she passed the following week. it was such a desperate time--six months sounded wonderful--it sounded like a lifetime! but it never happened.

losing someone we love is the hardest thing in the world. our grief seems like it is the price we pay for love. and yet it's worth it and we would do it all over again if we could only get the chance.

i agree with the other poster who said she thinks your dad will always be near to you. both my daughter and i saw, on many occassions, "signs" from my mom--one of the kitchen lights flashing on and off--sometimes it would turn itself on and later it would turn itself off; we both would smell my mother's perfume at the same time, and there were a lot of little things like that.

it took me a little over five months before i was able to actually sit down and read--to be able to focus and concentrate awhile--i finally decided to check out some books from the library on spirits and the afterlife. the first book i started reading was "we don't die: george anderson's conversations with the other side." as i sat on the couch, reading it, i heard several knocks on the wall behind the couch and the light flashed off and on with each knock. at first i thought a fuse blew but the light was still on. then i realized the knocking i heard was the signal my mom and i used so we would know who was there--it was the "shave and a haircut--two bits" knock. later my daughter pointed out to me that the wall behind the couch seperates the living room from my mother's bedroom.

signs. i had felt so empty, and lost, and abandoned, and bereft--but she was closer to me than i thought.

i'm sure your dad, whether he gives you signs or not--and he will do it or not in order to act in your best interest--will stay close to you and help see you through this time as best he can. and when the grief comes in waves just sit down and let it wash over you and hang on tight.

that's what i would do--and sometimes still do when the grief wells up.
i'm so sorry for your loss. take care.

[fadedrose]

33. So Sorry Bean

It's been many years, but I still miss my dad.

How's your mom?

[boston bean]

34. thank you, fadedrose

I'll be missing him forever.

My mom is doing as well as can be expected.

[GreenPartyVoter]

36. I am so very sorry! I lost my parents suddenly too, and the world seems so

wrong without them.

I spent a lot of my time in shock, wandering around saying, "But I'm too young not to have a Mom." And I'd get that horrible baseball bat to the gut, that sudden remembering that all is not right in my world anytime my brain took a break and "forgot" for a moment.

I don't know how you are experiencing your own grief, but I am glad you were able to come to this group and let us know. Lots of good, good people here to hear your pain or just give you a HUGE