My husband died Jan 14
I'm doing fine. Actually, that is the problem. I expected to feel more grief and sadness. He had his first heart attack in 1998, and had a three-way bypass. In the interim, he had two more heart attacks and the cardiologist placed stents. Then, two weeks ago, he died in his sleep after feeling ill with flu-like symptoms for a week. He kept telling me he wasn't having a heart attack. Wouldn't let me take him to the doctor. The doctor had told me in 2009 that he likely would not survive another heart attack.
The funeral went fine, the kids (three step, one mine and his) are all grown and are grieving profoundly; I went through it all like a well-trained seal, working the room like I do at parties and helping everyone feel at ease. I went back to work the day after, and was rather flaky for a few days, but yesterday I was like my old self and had a great day at work, and even laughed several times. But I feel no real grief at the moment.
My mother said I am having a delayed reaction.
I'm starting to wonder if I'm a sociopath.
I should be feeling a lot of emotion here. Instead I feel numb inside and appear fine on the outside. We were married for 35 years. He was the love of my life.
Is this normal?
Anybody think I need help?
= new reply since forum marked as read
I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband.
Yes, grief does affect us all differently ... I went into emotional shock for weeks while preparing things and until all the relatives had gone. I think it's our body's way of preventing us from becoming overwhelmed with everything all at once. Be kind to yourself.
My sympathy to you, your family and all who knew and loved your husband. May the memories of good times and all the little things give you comfort.
I think you are fine, you were "taking care of business" in these past few weeks and will grieve in your own way. We're all here for you
.
Sorry too that I didn't see this thread sooner.
Your grieving sounds just like the way I handled my Mum's death too.
Just take care of yourself and be prepared for the times when you feel overwhelmed by sadness.
There is no right and wrong way of course ...
much love to you.
aA
kesha.
They had been married for over 50 years.
When he died, her doctor whipped out the RX pad and wanted to give her some antidepressants. She declined.
I remember talking to her about the loss and she told me that she felt sad, yes but she didn't feel the need for any drugs.
Today she is doing pretty good for a woman her age (almost 83). She manages to continue living on her own while her kids are busy living their lives elsewhere.
The part about her kids angers me. They shouldn't have left their mother to fend for herself alone in a big house. I don't get this part at all. I don't think money is an issue for her but perhaps love is. 
I guess it is different for everyone.
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds like you are staying busy which is very important and you know that the cats are keeping a close eye on you.
Take care of yourself.
My Dad, and Gram died recently September, 2011. It's ok with what you feel. I'm grieving in a differn't way. My Mom is in CA with my brother, and I'm taking care of my parents dog. When I called thier cell phone, it got my Dads voice on the phone. And like a wave from the ocean, I was swept away with grief, saddnes. I left a voice mail of crying, and apology. I came to this forum to vent, and let out my feelings, it's working..
after losing a partner.
I wish you much happiness and love.
There is no need to feel guilty at all.
best wishes and thank you so much for the update.
kesha.