I had a friend pass suddenly a couple weeks ago

[47of74]

I had a friend pass away suddenly a couple weeks ago. He had a massive heart attack which ended his life. He was 45 years old, just under 9 years older than me. He left a teenage son and a 10 year old daughter behind. That was the hardest part was seeing his kids at the wake and realizing just how young these kids were - the daughter in particular.

If any good has come of this it did prompt me to get my will done, make sure to have final arrangements in case the worse did happen, and to have my doctor give my ticker a good once over. She said my heart looks good, I'm moving in the right direction on weight, and cholesterol is good.

Is it wrong of me to feel that if God had given me a choice of taking either me or him I would've have gladly gone in my friend's place?

[auntAgonist]

1. 47of74 I'm so sorry for your loss. You ask,

Is it wrong ...

Your feelings are real and they are yours. I think I've heard it called survivors guilt and we all experience it at one time or another when we lose someone close to us.

I remember the exact same feeling when a friend ( we were in our 20's with toddler children) was diagnosed with Leukemia. I became really depressed and felt that "God" was punishing a very good young christian mother. I never felt that I measured up to expectations and so I thought it should have been me and not her.

I realize now that even before she became ill I was suffering depression and not thinking straight. Had I been the one to die I'd have left behind a toddler just as she had.

Your heart is in the right place, thinking of your friend's children and feeling so bad for them. I think that's where the feeling of 'me instead of him' comes from.

I might be all wrong and forgive me for rambling on ...

I'm glad you're looking after yourself.

aA
kesha

[ceveritt]

2. No

No it is not wrong.

[orleans]

3. .

i'm wondering how close you are to the family and to the kids. depending on the situation, i think it would be great if they had you remain in their lives--to do things with, someone who was friends with their dad--could share nice or fun stories about their dad with them, hang out with them once in awhile.

sorry your friend passed on.

[livetohike]

4. My sympathy to you and all who loved your friend

Your thoughts are not wrong.....and I think it is a message from your friend for you to take care of yourself, as you are doing.

I hope you will think of all the good times you had with your friend and those memories will help to ease the shock of his sudden passing.