I did something wicked

[Not Heidi]

My sisters and I took a road trip to Weed, CA, for the memorial service of a dear friend. It was a wonderful, sad, well-attended event, held at Mark's favorite place: the Mt Shasta Brewing Company. (Excellent lager.)

We split the drive over four days. On Friday, we drove from Huntington Beach to Pleasanton, not far from San Jose, on the first leg. In Pleasanton we stayed at a decent hotel. The first thing I do when I get to my hotel is to look for Gideon. I wasn't disappointed on Friday, for there it was in the nightstand drawer.

Some of you will be aware that fundamentalist Christians believe in the bible as the literal and infallible word of god.

I seated myself comfortably on the bed, phone in one hand and Sharpie in the other. I turned to a mostly-blank page in the front of the book. With my Sharpie, I wrote my heading near the top:

CONTRADICTIONS

How can the "word of god" be infallible if it contains contradictions? Short, logical answer: it can't.

I looked up contradictions dealing with seeing god (some people did, but in the epistles it says that no one has seen god); personal injury (an eye for an eye vs. turn the other cheek); incest (some definite con verses, but Abraham married his sister, Sara); and more.

I spent a delicious, wicked 45 minutes with Gideon. Good thing I don't believe in hell.

[Faux pas]

1. Kickin'

[cilla4progress]

2. Wicked

ly AWESOME!!!

[ificandream]

3. I'd suggest doing that in a city that's a little more Evangelical.

Pleasanton (I live in the area) really isn't. Next time I visit Southern California.

[Not Heidi]

34. Good idea! n/t

[lastlib]

4. When people tell me the bible has no errors....

...I ask them if the ever tried to do trigonometry with the biblical value of pi.

I don't believe in an actual hell, either, but sometimes it's a useful metaphor.

[2naSalit]

5. K&R

[NoRethugFriends]

6. Nice.

I haven't seen a bible in a motel in a long time, thank god.😁

[Permanut]

26. I see what you did there.

[vlyons]

7. Here's some more

If Jesus was born from a virgin, where did he get his male chromasomes?
How can a 3 day old corpse get up and start walking around?
How did Jesus escape earth's gravity to ascend into heaven without a rocket and oxygen supply?
Where exactly is heaven? Why haven't thousands of telescopes around the world been able to locate it?
How do you turn inorganic matter (water) into organic matter (wine) without a chemical process or lab?
Explain how a bronze age invisible sky god can override the laws of physics and biology.

[CrispyQ]

9. Who created the creator?

The answer I got when I asked that question was that God has always been. Then why couldn't the universe have always been, in whatever form it used to be?

[vlyons]

22. That is the Buddhist reason for why there is no creator god

All phenomena arise from previous causes and conditions, which begs the question: Who or what created a creator god?

[multigraincracker]

13. Ask them to explain the Trilogy

and keep asking which God is the real God. The Father, the Son or the Ghost?

[vlyons]

20. the Trinity dogma was invented in 325 AD

at the first council of Nicea, which was convened by Constantine the Great. It is a bit of sophistry that labeled everyone, who didn't accept it as a heretic.

[TheRickles]

23. He also axed out the bit on reincarnation, which had been a part of the tradition until then.

[Ray Bruns]

18. Magic! That's how!

[dchill]

19. If I had ANY reason to believe in God - which I don't -

THAT would really freak me out.

[Not Heidi]

35. Ooh . . . All excellent. n/t

[ChazInAz]

8. Bwah-hahahah!

It's wonderful to know that I am not alone!
I have a tribe!

[Not Heidi]

36. We *are* a tribe!

[CrispyQ]

10. If they really wanted to help humanity they'd leave condoms instead of Bibles.

Just sayin'.

[Backseat Driver]

11. So...you're an evangelical atheist?

I have faith those FundieNJs likely won't even bother to pick up that Gideon you defaced in order to advance your viewpoint and bamboozle theirs with reason It ain't the King James, you know. IDK if you're going to hell either, but, yes, you were bad. Did you have something equally and deliciously devilish planned on the mad dash home?

[Not Heidi]

37. No . . .

I used up all my creativity with Gideon.

My sisters, also atheists, thought I was just weird. But when the idea hit, I had to run with it.

[maspaha]

12. I wish I'd known this wickedness years ago...

I enjoyed a glamorous 35 year career in aviation flying cargo to exciting destinations in the wee hours of the night and early morning. I have stayed in more hotel rooms across the US and Europe than i care to remember. To think I could have left similar love notes in all of the “Good Books” in all of those rooms…uh, such a missed opportunity

BTW…NotHeidi, you’re a truth tellin’ genius!

[Not Heidi]

38. Oh, p'shaw

Go on . . . 😁

[brewens]

14. I bought a used truck with one of those Jesus fish on it. This was back in the days where

I unfortunately would drink and drive. I was going to take it off and thought, wait a minute, a lot of cops around here are Christians. Maybe that might keep them from looking at me too close at least. Then I went one step farther. I had a small Bible and I tossed it on my dash and left it there.

[multigraincracker]

15. Like the drunken priest that got pulled over.

Cop ask if he had been drinking. He said only water. The then asked why he smelled like wine and pointed to the empty bottle. Priest said “oh my God, you’ve done it again.

[MMBeilis]

27. Laughed out loud at that one. Thnx.

[twodogsbarking]

16. And this...

And now Rocky Raccoon, he fell back in his room
Only to find Gideon's Bible
Gideon checked out and he left it no doubt
To help with good Rocky's revival, oh, ooh, yeah, yeah

[LiberalLovinLug]

21. One of my favorite Beatles songs!

[RussBLib]

17. That's not wicked

It's a public service!!

[Not Heidi]

39. Hey, cool! n/t

[LiberalLovinLug]

24. I grew up in a fundy house and the easy explanation was that that is in the old testament

And when Jesus came, he laid down new laws. Emphasizing love. "But the greatest of these is love".

So instead of killing babies and raping women of your enemy, you "do good to those that hate you".
Instead of getting revenge and hurting back, you "turn the other cheek"
Instead of amassing as much wealth as you can, you "go and sell all that you have, and give to the poor"
Instead of marginalizing the "other" or the disadvantaged, Jesus says "I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me"

The only problem is that they decidedly do NOT follow the New Testament's teachings over the Old Testament. That is why I don't think they are real Christians. They don't actually believe in Jesus or his teachings rejecting those old brutal laws.

[MMBeilis]

29. I especially like the Old Testament part where God gave the tribes of Israel the "Holy Land" but....

....said that they first had to go and kill all the other tribes that were living there.

[Farmer-Rick]

43. Yet they follow the 10 commandments that is from the old testament

So, that is a lie about Jesus laying down new law. He even said he came to fulfill law not abolish it......again another unbelievable blatant contradiction of Christianity.

There was a Roman leader who lost his favorite to drowning. He started a religion around him. It was a cult that thrived for centuries.

So easy to create religions when they need no proof, evidence or logic.

[LiberalLovinLug]

44. The God part of the brain?

Yeah. No better example than L Ron Hubbard. A semi-successful pulp sci fi author. I was a young teen in the seventies and into sci fi then, and even though I knew he had started some kind of science based alternative to religion? I wasn't sure, I thoroughly enjoyed his Battlefield Earth series. Full of crazy over the top characters and funny as hell.
But I could hardly believe it when I watched his cult religion grow into a celebrity fuelled empire.

Then there's Joseph Smith and his twist on Christianity

Its too bad more people don't realize how easily the human mind can fool itself, even themselves. Look at the MAGA movement, fooled by an old cretin like Trump.

[live love laugh]

25. The people who need to see that won't get it.

[Not Heidi]

40. I know.

I thought of that the whole time. Had to do it anyway.

[YoshidaYui]

28. i know Pleasanton

Its where they had the Pleasanton County Fair each summer. A very warm place in Summer, but according to my father, they had great horse racing there at one point.

https://visittrivalley.com/2018/04/visitpleasanton/

[IronLionZion]

30. I was in a motel once that had the Book of Mormon

that's an interesting one

[NoRethugFriends]

31. A Marriott no doubt (nt)

[Not Heidi]

41. Why a Marriott? n/t

[NoRethugFriends]

42. below

https://apnews.com/article/north-america-us-news-business-ap-top-news-religion-a81def375dba4b7ebcbef2b5daff1d43

[Picaro]

32. I've always loved to play Bible with fundies

Just ask them if they believe that the Bible is the literal word of God and to agree that due to it being the infallible they believe that the Bible not only offers truth but prescriptive truth. If you follow the Bible you’re following the word of God.

But the Bible not only countenances, but demands things like slavery, genocide, murder, incest.

When this is pointed out they stutter, stumble, collapse.

So much fun.😂😉

[Not Heidi]

33. I love it, too

😁