So word is getting out.....

[Lady Freedom Returns]

How is beyond my. I've only talked about me becoming an Atheist here in this forum.

But here comes people to help me in my " crisis of faith" (their words). I am fine, I have way more to worry about than my soul, as I posted yesterday. I don't even want to answer my door!
Any advice?

[vlyons]

1. Tell them ---

tell them, "It's none of your business." Your faith, or lack thereof, is a private matter if you want it to be. You don't owe any explanations to anyone, if you don't want to. Disbelief in a creator god does not mean that you lack ethical morality, compassion, tolerance, patience, and the practice of peace.

I'm a Buddhist, and we don't believe in a creator god. We do believe in using our minds, logic, and reason to discover how best to behave to create a happy life.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

3. I'm am.

But boy, their persistent.
I've heard people talk going to save a soul, but I never knew how they would come in small packs. I swear they must have a van out there, just sending two- three's when the others go away.
Don't they have a bake sale or something else? One more knock and I'm calling the cops.

[Funtatlaguy]

2. Depends on how polite you want to be...

The Polite Way:
“I spent a large portion of my life trying to understand all of the inconsistencies in trying to believe in an all knowing, all powerful, all loving God. But, I’ve witnessed so much tragedy in this world that I can no longer rationally believe in such an extraterrestrial being”.

The Not So Polite Way:
“Fuck off, you ignorant Jesus freak”.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

5. I'm being nice.

They got to stop. Its 5 o'clock !

[nocoincidences]

4. I had a friend in grad school

who had a great technique, that cuts right to the chase

When they start their spiel she just says:

"I don't believe in God" and shuts the door.

No wasted words or time or effort.

I'm all about this kind of efficiency.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

7. Why won't they take a hint.

Is this something I can now expect?

[RKP5637]

9. K&R !!!! Give them an inch and their foot will be in the door. n/t

[Lady Freedom Returns]

12. Oh no.

No, no, no!

[Bradshaw3]

6. Answer the door naked

Those types seem to have a problem with nudity.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

10. Too many kids around.

Tempting though, very temping...

[yonder]

28. Yep! No clothes or few clothes might do the trick.

I used to answer the front door in my boxers those Saturday mornings when I saw them coming.

With no shirt and scratching here and there, they don't come around much anymore.

[RKP5637]

8. Tell them to F off in no uncertain terms!!! I had one bothering me ... I told them I was a

Satanist and to get off my property before I called the cops. I would turn them into a frog!!!

[Lady Freedom Returns]

11. This has just been crazy!

I still want to know how they found out!

I never thought I would have to put up with something like this.

[RKP5637]

13. Pepper Spray works!!!

[Lady Freedom Returns]

14. Think they finally gave up.

But if they pull it tomorrow.....
I'm still trying to get my health back, I don't need this.

[RKP5637]

15. File charges for harassment! Ask the ACLU for advice, what to do. Good thing they're not

here. I have a very short temper for this kind of nonsense.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

16. They left a couple of Bibles with business cards in them.

They seem to be gone now.
Should I wait to see if they come back tomorrow or call the cops now?
I've never had something like this before.
And I still want to know how they knew about my discission.

[RKP5637]

24. I would wait and see what happens, maybe they were just in your area and won't be back. n/t

[lindysalsagal]

25. Drive a silver stake through the bible, hang it on the door

That pretty much says it all.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

26. Haha!

If I had a silver stake, I would have sold it already.

But I have an ice pick!

[vlyons]

17. Post a NO TRESPASSING sign

Some asshole little local church has put you on their radar. They probably have some pastor, who is using you as an example to control and motivate his congregation to prove how powerful his god is, and by extension how powerful he is.

In Buddhism, we call such religiosity "spiritual materialism," wherein people use religion and spirituality to enhance and solidify their egos. Eventually these assholes will give up on you and move on to another victim. I call them "scalp hunters." They want your scalp hanging from their belt to prove that they are right and brought another sinner to Jesus. That's how their thinking goes.

Post a NO Trespassing sign. Post a "Trespassers will be prosecuted." When they show up, tell them to get off your property, or you will call the Sheriff. You could also post a "No Solicitors" sign and a "Do Not Disturb" sign.

Or you could simply lie to them. Tell them that you just got baptised in the Catholic Church. Or that you're a Moslem, or a Satanist, or a Witch, or Sufi or a Mormon. Have some fun with it. Or tell them to go eat a bug.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

18. The apartment won't let me.

But they do have signs up.
Thank you. They pop up again, call the office.

[BaileyBill]

19. Years ago, my brother answered the door to someone asking,

"Have you found Jesus?" His response, "Is that sumbitch lost again?"

[Lady Freedom Returns]

20. Haha!

[Freelancer]

21. I think you're having us all on more than a little. That's okay. It's been interesting.

You can tell them you joined my congregation -- the Church of the "Cognitive Dissidents." That might get em off your back.

Maybe print out some pictures of John Leguizamo, or Carrot Top and hand them out when they come. Tell them they're two of our patron saints, along with Lady Gaga and his holiness, Gallagher of the melons (May his mallet forever swing).

[Lady Freedom Returns]

22. vlyons gave me an idea.

Call the office if they come back. We got no trespassing signs all over.

[rurallib]

23. Turn it on them and tell them that first we will need to talk about your

crisis of rationality.

About two years ago a Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door. I told him I was atheist but that I thought it would be fun to talk to him.
So we sat on the front steps on a beautiful summer day and whatever he said I would say something like "prove it." Wouldn't let him use the bible - told him it was a book of ancient fairy tales.

Went on for an hour. He was really frustrated. I think I was getting to him. Without all the bible passages he had nothing. He finally basically ran away.

Two hours later I went outside and he was still sitting in his car that was parked across the street. His head was down and his lips were moving. I brought Mrs. Lib out to see and we had a good chuckle.

[TlalocW]

29. A friend of mine did this

A family (mom, dad, and daughter) of JWs came to her door, and she chit-chatted with them for a bit on the porch (didn't let them in), and at one point she said, "Is this your daughter? She's a cutie!" The parents nodded with pleasure, and my friend crouched down to the daughter's level and said, "Did you know your mommy and daddy are in a cult? When you get older, if you can find your way back, I'll give you sanctuary."

They booked it off the porch to the middle of the street, made some religious signs with their hands toward her house, and went back to the local Kingdom Hall where they apparently gave everyone her address as she was never bothered again.

TlalocW

[SWBTATTReg]

27. I just simply tell them it's none of their damn business and shut the door in their faces. It's ...

really none of their damn business. Period. Or, if I see them at the door, I open it, see them, and close it w/o a word. I don't owe them an explanation, I don't owe them anything.