Christian Leader: I Rebuked Death and Resurrected a Comatose Woman

[NeoGreen]

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/07/25/christian-leader-i-rebuked-death-and-resurrected-a-comatose-woman/

Christian Leader: I “Rebuked” Death and Resurrected a Comatose Woman
July 25, 2017 by Hemant Mehta

Donald Trump-approved “Christian leader” Mary Colbert has said in the past that God will curse the descendants of anyone who criticizes the President. She has also said Trump’s proposed border wall is fine since even Heaven has a gate.

On a recent episode of SkyWatch TV, Colbert told a story about how she and her husband met a comatose woman in a hospital. They laid hands on the woman, “rebuked the spirit of death,” and wouldn’t you know it, the woman was just fine two days later!

… Don and I recently walked into an ICU, woman comatose, pulling the plug, flat-lined, EEG, family, everybody’s going… laid hands, rebuked the spirit of death off of her, and we turned to the daughters and the family and said, “In two days, she’s gonna wake up, and when she does, give us a call.” And the whole family — one of the family members was an RN, ICU nurse, who sat with her arms folded and glaring at Don, my husband… and folded her arms and looked at him, like, “How dare you, as a doctor, do that? You know better. She’s dead. She’s gone. And up against that spirit of death.”
…
And the spirit of God told me to tell them, in two days, she will wake up, and when she does, she’ll need to do some exercise to get strong. But she’s gonna be just fine!

Two days, one hour short of… 48 hours, my phone’s blowing up. “Please call. My mom woke up.” And she said that they had her exercising in the hallways at the hospital to get her legs strong…

I have so many questions…

— Did Colbert just randomly walk into this room and put her hands on a patient?
— How did she randomly get into the ICU? Hospitals have security.
— Does she make these predictions of everybody? Because that has to be awkward when someone dies.
— Can any doctor confirm that this patient was medically dead and came back to life?
— How specific was this prophecy when Colbert made it?
— Do we have this woman’s medical records?
— Is there video of the patient? What about Colbert making the prophecy?
— Why did this patient supposedly come back to life when others don’t?
— If Colbert has this magical power, why isn’t she using it on other patients?
— What hospital was this?

We’re not going to get answers to any of these questions, because Christian “faith-healers” never offer those details. They tell vague inspirational stories that defy fact-checking or follow-up in the hopes that their gullible Christian audiences will just accept whatever’s being said as if it’s all true.

[DetlefK]

1. I have magical powers: I can melt chocolate by touching it.

[hatrack]

4. That's nothing - I can make it disappear by putting it into my mouth!

[ret5hd]

2. Why can't she (or any "healer") heal an amputee???

[hatrack]

3. Is there a Central Repository of Bad Hair & Makeup these clowns all report to?

I mean, from the glory days of Tammy Faye to the Trumpian End Times, one thing hasn't changed - the clear and unmistakable replication of interior bullshit through exterior bullshit.

[Warpy]

5. Yeah? I once woke up a TBI case by pinching a toe and telling him

his snowman was burning down. I woke up a head injured doctor by asking a technical question about the moose liver consolidation test and yes, the moose had to die. You never know what will wake up a head case. While it's not outside the realm of possibilities that he walked into a rural hospital and said something religiously off the wall and a TBI patient chose that moment to come to, the rest of the story is dubious, to say the least. Chances are better that the woman had a bandaged head on a normal ward, was sleeping, and this loudmouthed preacher woke her up from a nap.

"Rebuking death," my flabby old atheist ass.