What aren't the Xians using their power of prayer to stop Hurricane Matthew?

[stopbush]

We know we'll be hearing from them post-hurricane how they "give all the glory to Jesus" for saving their home...or not. But here they have a perfect opportunity pre-storm for them to demonstrate once and for all just how real their god is and just how real the power of prayer is.

"Ask it in my name and it shall be given" saith the lord.

C'mon, Xians. Ask your god to stop the storm! We're all waiting to see a demonstration of his power.

[AlbertCat]

1. "I prayed God would not let Matthew destroy my house....

.... and the hurricane came nowhere near my house! Alleluia!"

"Where do you live?"

"Montana"

[Warren DeMontague]

2. because gay people can get married.

like, duh!

[HAB911]

4. God Sent Hurricane Matthew To Stop Orlando Gay Pride Event

Everyone knows that, duh

Andrew Bieszad, a contributor to Shoebat.com, the website run by anti-gay extremists Walid and Theodore Shoebat, has some thoughts about Hurricane Matthew, which is expected to strike the East Coast of the United States in the coming days: "Hurricane Matthew Is The Wrath Of God Poured Out On The Cities Of Orlando And Savannah For Supporting The Evil Sodomites."

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/shoebatcom-contributor-says-god-sent-hurricane-matthew-stop-orlando-gay-pride-event

[Warren DeMontague]

8. that's the problem with satire

people like that make it redundant.

[DetlefK]

3. "God's ways..."

[HAB911]

5. Masturbation

is clinically proven more effective than prayer

[RussBLib]

6. definitely makes ME feel better

and anyone who tries it, I'd bet

I used to think that an orgasm a day would keep the doctor away. Now that I am over 60, I don't believe that anymore.

[HAB911]

7. LOL!

never give up!

[Freelancer]

9. I'm so glad that I found you guys. Thanks!

I really enjoy reading stuff like this.

I'm an eye-roller from way back. As long as I can remember, I've had that reaction to requests for prayers, or moments of silence. My instructions, when I'm dead, to my eulogizer is to ask anyone gathered to collectively roll their eyes as he says: "God God, blah blah blah, God, blah blah, God. Thank you." That just seems right.

I also want my stone to look like the Guardian of Forever from Star Trek episode 28. I don't really expect that request, though. It's just there to make the first request seem reasonable and easy in comparison. In my experience, asking for a second big thing all but ensures the first little (inexpensive) thing. Hey -- I know my family.