Bad news everybody. I just found out I'm possessed by a demon.

[DetlefK]

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/07/here-are-4-signs-you-might-be-demonically-possessed-according-to-a-catholic-psychiatrist/


The Washington Post has published an article by a Catholic psychiatrist named Richard Gallagher who says that there really are demonic possessions in the world, even though he concedes that most reported “possessions” are people suffering from more earthly mental illness.

So what separates your garden variety case of schizophrenia from full-blown demonic possession? Here are four key symptoms that Gallagher says are common in possession cases he’s encountered that can’t be explained by science:

1.) A person can suddenly speak in foreign languages they’ve never learned. ...

2.) A person develops superior strength and, in rare cases, might have powers of levitation. ...

3.) A person starts saying unusually venomous things about religion. ...

4.) A person has detailed knowledge about strangers’ histories and their most shameful secrets. ...



--------------

Damn! (Literally.)

[trotsky]

1. LMFAO

Now remember, it's really just a tiny minority of believers who actually believe in stuff like that. Despite being the official position of the largest single Christian sect on the planet.

Dammit though, having that power of levitation would be nice. Why can't I be possessed?

[progressoid]

2. What qualifies as "unusually venomous"?

Does normal venom count?

[DetlefK]

4. Good question.

I guess, it's "normal" venom to be for or against this or that religion.

And I guess, it's "unusually venomous" to talk about uncomfortable details of a religion itself.

You know, while a superficial debate about religion is acceptable, it's impolite to bring up parts of the religion that the believer himself would rather not bring up.

[onager]

9. Well, based on my DU reading...

Criticizing very old and established Xian mainstream religions is considered "unusually venomous." But attacking "Fundamentalist assholes" is perfectly OK.

Also, attacking the Sunni Islam of Fundamentalist assholes like ISIS is fine. But don't criticize the Sunni Islam followed by a propagandist at CAIR or similar people, they're Good Liberals just like us. That one could keep us busy, since Sunni Islam has at least 32 different theological schools I'm aware of.

Sufis are also Good Muslims because they're mystics. Unless they later mutate into Fundamentalist Assholes, like the former Sufi poet and scholar Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini did.

OK, I think I've cleared that right up...

[packman]

3. I ALWAYS suspected Superman as being possessed

Superior strength, levitation ,,

[edhopper]

5. Well he is alien, so that explains it

But Billy Baston is definitely possessed.

[mountain grammy]

6. I saw it in the Exorcist..

possession...

[rurallib]

7. I thought speaking in foreign languages they never learned

was a sign the Holy Spirit had descended on a person and made them extra crunchy holy?

Now it shows they've been possessed? Get your stories straight, people!

Can't tell the good possessions from the bad possessions without a score card!

[uriel1972]

8. Oh it's easy....

Agrees with me: Holy Spirit
Disagrees with me: Demon

[AlbertCat]

13. speaking in foreign languages they never learned was a sign the Holy Spirit

No, that is "speaking in tongues"...not any known language.

Like

Falling down is optional...

then there's

[JNelson6563]

10. These things happen to me all the time!

Especially the levitation! It can be a bit inconvenient!

[marginlized]

11. Recently watched "Ava's Possessions"

REALLY FUN. She's in recovery, a sort of 12 step program for the possessed.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3727982/?ref_=nv_sr_1

[AlbertCat]

12. 5) Pea soup

[Freelancer]

14. I haven't achieved levitation, but I am twice as absorbant in water -- not holy water, of course.

I'm also hypoallergenic. It turns out that being in league with the dark forces makes you the demonic equivalent of a labradoodle.

Go figure!