This Is How Different Cultures Grieve With Food

[Judi Lynn]

Recipes and rituals vary, but the instinct to console the grieving with food is one that transcends culture, religion, language and borders.
ByErin Van Der Meer
02/21/2019 05:45am ET | Updated February 25, 2019

I didn’t fully understand what it meant to “eat your feelings” until my mother died last year. Words are woefully inadequate when dealing with death, whether you’re trying to express your own grief or offer sympathy to someone hurting after a loss. So people kept me fed. A plate with a grilled cheese and a side of salt-and-vinegar chips would appear beside me as I wept writing my eulogy. Friends arrived with brown paper grocery bags full of treats from a fancy deli: yogurt, cheese, chocolate, hummus. A helpful, practical act, but also a loving reminder that I was not alone.

Recipes and rituals may vary, but in different cultures and countries around the world, from America to Mexico to Italy to Vietnam, there are notable parallels in the way we grieve with food that transcend language, culture, religion and geography.

Grief calls for rich, hearty comfort food ― and lots of it.
In the U.S., casseroles and lasagnas are thought of as the go-to dishes to take to a wake or to someone who is grieving, although differences exist based on region, religion and ethnic background. In the Jewish tradition, during the seven-day mourning period immediately following a death known as sitting shiva, it’s common knowledge one should bring crowd-pleasing food that is easily shared and requires little preparation by the host, such as bagels, candy, nuts, cookies and cakes.

In America’s South, famous for its hearty, decadent cuisine, funeral food differs among states and cultural backgrounds, but there are some traditional staples, according to Kathleen Purvis, food editor at The Charlotte Observer in North Carolina.

More:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/grieving-with-food_l_5c646722e4b0084c78e25df8

[yellowdogintexas]

1. coming from a small town in the South, I can vouch for the

deluge of food which appears as if by magic when someone dies.

When my dad died, we had so much food it was unreal. My mom had a really big freezer, so we put a lot of it away for later.

Certain people bring certain things. One lady in our church always made the Hershey's chocolate syrup cake (decadent!). Chicken salad, cold cuts, mac/cheese, potato salad, deviled eggs, pimento cheese, various casseroles and of course desserts. Pie, cakes, brownies, cookies.

I recommend this for your reading pleasure: "Being Dead is No Excuse" The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral by Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays, in which the authors explain everything you need to know to host an authentic Southern funeral, Mississippi Delta style. There are recipes. Valuable quotes:

"Pimento Cheese is the Pate of the South" "Sweet tea - the House Wine of the South"
My church ladies' group read this book and then we had a party in which everyone brought something made with a recipe from the book. I took coconut cake and boiled custard.

[babylonsister]

3. Thanks! That book sounds like a hoot! nt

[MFM008]

2. My mom died in Jan

I guess we dont know the right people.
Im glad she couldnt see we didnt get anything.
Makes me wish i knew some Jewish people.