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murielm99

(31,433 posts)
Thu Apr 4, 2013, 10:56 AM Apr 2013

My dad is beginning hospice care this morning.

My brother is having cataract surgery Wednesday.

My youngest daughter announced suddenly that she is getting married in July. Her sister is getting married in August. After her August wedding, she is playing Carnegie Hall in October.

The youngest daughter is getting married at the courthouse, and we will have a reception later. She has to get all of herself organized after getting married, so that she can become a permanent resident of Canada, because her husband is Canadian.

My husband, brother and I have to find a way to see my dad. We are not sure my mother will let us in voluntarily. We think it should work if we just show up, because there will be helpers there around the clock. She may not want to cause a scene. But she is mentally ill, cruel and unpredictable. We will get a court order to see him if we have to.

All this stuff. What could possibly go wrong?

15 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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My dad is beginning hospice care this morning. (Original Post) murielm99 Apr 2013 OP
Take care of yourself, muriel, with all this stuff. elleng Apr 2013 #1
The Carnegie Hall event is murielm99 Apr 2013 #3
Maybe nothing will go really wrong. Cleita Apr 2013 #2
peace and light to you and your entire family magical thyme Apr 2013 #4
What Magical thyme said ... Delphinus Apr 2013 #5
Keeping you Howler Apr 2013 #6
My heart goes out to you Murieium99, I will onecent Apr 2013 #7
Thank you onecent, and everyone murielm99 Apr 2013 #8
Many hugs of support coming your way.... OneGrassRoot Apr 2013 #9
how about a phone visit or skype riverbendviewgal Apr 2013 #10
Oh boy. Sounds like my last year actually. My condolences....and glinda Apr 2013 #11
Hope all things have gone well and this finds you feeling better. I pray your father is comfortable Mnemosyne Apr 2013 #12
My brother came through his cataract surgery just fine. murielm99 Apr 2013 #13
Hang in there, muriel. Many thoughts will be with you. Mnemosyne Apr 2013 #14
Joys, loss and change BanzaiBonnie Apr 2013 #15

elleng

(136,055 posts)
1. Take care of yourself, muriel, with all this stuff.
Thu Apr 4, 2013, 12:05 PM
Apr 2013

(And let us know about the Carnegie Hall event, please.)

murielm99

(31,433 posts)
3. The Carnegie Hall event is
Thu Apr 4, 2013, 11:14 PM
Apr 2013

at 3:00 p.m. on October 26, 2013. It is with a group out of Iowa that she plays with. She is a classically trained flute player. She does not earn her whole living as a flute player. She is a librarian, as I was. Professional music is a tough way to live, and few people make the big bucks. But she does quite a few concerts.

Cleita

(75,480 posts)
2. Maybe nothing will go really wrong.
Thu Apr 4, 2013, 01:02 PM
Apr 2013

My extra positive thoughts for your dad and brother. I hope everything comes up good for you in the end.

 

magical thyme

(14,881 posts)
4. peace and light to you and your entire family
Fri Apr 5, 2013, 10:53 AM
Apr 2013

May your mother find the peace and kindness in her heart and spirit to allow you to see your father.

Delphinus

(12,145 posts)
5. What Magical thyme said ...
Fri Apr 5, 2013, 01:54 PM
Apr 2013

Peace and love on this next stage of your dad's life. Blessings to all. Take care and many hugs.
(edit to get magical thyme's name right)

onecent

(6,096 posts)
7. My heart goes out to you Murieium99, I will
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 06:43 PM
Apr 2013

send you blessings for you and your family. It's difficult ENOUGH without having some of the relatives intending to do what they can do to stir things up instead of letting love and harmony in.

hugs to you and your family.

sorry for the edit, I must have added a word wrong...best of luck to you

murielm99

(31,433 posts)
8. Thank you onecent, and everyone
Sat Apr 6, 2013, 07:56 PM
Apr 2013

else who has responded.

My mother is determined, now, to keep my brother away. She says he has bedbugs. There were bedbugs in his building TWO YEARS ago. Last summer, when he had his big toe amputated, I went to his apartment and cleaned everything for him. I used my vacuum cleaner, my bucket, rags and cleaning supplies. I did not bring home any bedbugs. My husband did his dishes and cleaned his refrigerator. My son did his laundry. None of us got bedbugs!

She is determined to find a way to be nasty. We will get in, one way or another.

riverbendviewgal

(4,320 posts)
10. how about a phone visit or skype
Sun Apr 7, 2013, 03:41 PM
Apr 2013

While your mother is not there. Is your dad aware.? I had a horrible mother too.

glinda

(14,807 posts)
11. Oh boy. Sounds like my last year actually. My condolences....and
Sun Apr 7, 2013, 05:40 PM
Apr 2013

(((((cyber hugs))))))).
All you can do is breath a lot...and slowly.

Mnemosyne

(21,363 posts)
12. Hope all things have gone well and this finds you feeling better. I pray your father is comfortable
Sat Apr 13, 2013, 06:52 PM
Apr 2013

and at peace.

And congrats on the upcoming weddings and celebrations!

murielm99

(31,433 posts)
13. My brother came through his cataract surgery just fine.
Sat Apr 13, 2013, 11:42 PM
Apr 2013

I knew he would. I have had the same surgery, both eyes.

We are all going to see my dad on Monday. We do not live that close, so we are taking two cars to see him. My son and his wife will go later, the same day. My oldest daughter is the only one who has to wait a few days. I think there may not be more than a few days. This is best. His body has worn out.

Many thanks to all the caring people here.

BanzaiBonnie

(3,621 posts)
15. Joys, loss and change
Wed Apr 17, 2013, 03:29 AM
Apr 2013

There's always so much movement in a family.

My thoughts and prayers are with you muriel.

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