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babydollhead

(2,246 posts)
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 09:50 AM Jan 2013

s.o.s. please. My heart is breaking. help me break it open to something good

any thoughts, quotes, vibes, intention, wisdom, peace, and guidance will be greatly appreciated. i cant seem to find them in myself. i know they are there i am just so heartbroken.

53 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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s.o.s. please. My heart is breaking. help me break it open to something good (Original Post) babydollhead Jan 2013 OP
Hugs & blessings on their way LiberalEsto Jan 2013 #1
thank you. babydollhead Jan 2013 #2
Sorry you are so sad libodem Jan 2013 #3
thank you. its too soon for distilling it down to one sentence. babydollhead Jan 2013 #26
Hope you are better libodem Jan 2013 #39
thank you. babydollhead Jan 2013 #50
I'm sorry. In_The_Wind Jan 2013 #4
thats beautiful. thank you so much babydollhead Jan 2013 #27
I am sorry you are in a tough place. davsand Jan 2013 #5
thank you. babydollhead Jan 2013 #28
Sending comfort and hope yellerpup Jan 2013 #6
thank you. babydollhead Jan 2013 #51
Love, this may not be much comfort now but ... mntleo2 Jan 2013 #7
thank you for your wisdom babydollhead Jan 2013 #43
((((((((((((babydollhead)))))))))))) Tsiyu Jan 2013 #8
thank you. babydollhead Jan 2013 #29
I hope this helps you: DeSwiss Jan 2013 #9
its true. thank you. the thoughts are the problem babydollhead Jan 2013 #30
Thanks DeSwiss libodem Jan 2013 #40
I am hoping for the best for you, that Ilsa Jan 2013 #10
thank you. babydollhead Jan 2013 #44
I am sending hugs and peace for you. I have onecent Jan 2013 #11
thank you. your husband was right. babydollhead Jan 2013 #52
That is wonderful advice. murielm99 Jan 2013 #53
Maybe some sick humor? Don't want to make light of your pain, only make you smile. mother earth Jan 2013 #12
thank you. thats funny! babydollhead Jan 2013 #31
Romance? Breakup? Unrequited love? Loss? Matariki Jan 2013 #13
it feels like fresh grief. Its love with impending loss. babydollhead Jan 2013 #32
Sending you peaceful vibes wovenpaint Jan 2013 #14
very nice. thank you. babydollhead Jan 2013 #33
sometimes it seems impossible to know what roguevalley Jan 2013 #15
thank you. what you said made me cry. i dont know why caring makes me cry. babydollhead Jan 2013 #34
you appear to be an empath. I am. all the women in my mother's family roguevalley Jan 2013 #41
Thank you. babydollhead Jan 2013 #45
when life gives you lemons, make lemonade! NuttyFluffers Jan 2013 #16
thank you. babydollhead Jan 2013 #35
Peace, Love and Light to you Trailrider1951 Jan 2013 #17
Thank you. babydollhead Jan 2013 #46
You are worthy of love, joy...everything you desire OneGrassRoot Jan 2013 #18
thank you. babydollhead Jan 2013 #36
Dear Babydollhead... findrskeep Jan 2013 #19
thank you. this is why I asked for help here. babydollhead Jan 2013 #37
mourning something in your life isn't feeling sorry for yourself, honey. roguevalley Jan 2013 #42
thank you for your kindness. and your wisdom. babydollhead Jan 2013 #49
From Wally Amos The Blue Flower Jan 2013 #20
thank you. if i could just get back to center, I could SEE. babydollhead Jan 2013 #25
thank you. it sure makes the day long, this awful sadness. babydollhead Jan 2013 #38
Have sent light... Fire Walk With Me Jan 2013 #21
thank you. babydollhead Jan 2013 #24
I'm 70 yrs old and there this got me through much.."this too shall pass" shraby Jan 2013 #22
thank you. babydollhead Jan 2013 #23
This too shall pass--it is maybe like a kidney stone, but it WILL pass. davsand Jan 2013 #47
yes. you are right. babydollhead Jan 2013 #48

babydollhead

(2,246 posts)
26. thank you. its too soon for distilling it down to one sentence.
Sun Jan 13, 2013, 11:57 AM
Jan 2013

or even one reason. Its my own thoughts clouding in.

libodem

(19,288 posts)
39. Hope you are better
Sun Jan 13, 2013, 12:31 PM
Jan 2013

I wish Ihad a pat answer, full of wisdom, that would lift you up. I get the impression this is a love problem or a break up? It really does hurt. I'm empathetic cuz I've been there. I was a mess around last Christmas.

davsand

(13,428 posts)
5. I am sorry you are in a tough place.
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 10:40 AM
Jan 2013

First, I offer you this Dickenson poem:

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/177118



After great pain, a formal feeling comes – (372)
By Emily Dickinson 1830–1886 Emily Dickinson


After great pain, a formal feeling comes –
The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs –
The stiff Heart questions ‘was it He, that bore,’
And ‘Yesterday, or Centuries before’?


The Feet, mechanical, go round –
A Wooden way
Of Ground, or Air, or Ought –
Regardless grown,
A Quartz contentment, like a stone –


This is the Hour of Lead –
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow –
First – Chill – then Stupor – then the letting go –


My hope for you is that soon you'll be past the stage of letting go and he headed into something much better.




Laura

mntleo2

(2,567 posts)
7. Love, this may not be much comfort now but ...
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 11:20 AM
Jan 2013

...I am hoping that it will help you keep your courage while you are going through this.

Your heartbreak right now is something that may have to go on a little bit before you find peace. You will need people who are close to you for awhile and talking helps though it may seem like taking an aspirin for a toothache that could not be dulled with the strongest medicine. I had an elder relative as a young woman who actually took me into her arms and rocked me in her rocking chair like I was a baby and I cannot tell you how healing that was ~ but I did not realize how healing that action was until afterwards when my pain became a little more bearable, that she helped it far more than anything else had. We often want to be a brave adults and the "shame" we have that the scared child living inside of us that needs nurture at those times more than anything, can be something that we deny when of all times that child is the one that is crying and needing to be cherished. In truth seeking out the people who will enfold you, let you cry, be angry, and generally understand and accept you, is important.

It may feel like an eternity because the pain can be great, maybe seeming unbearable, but it is an important part of finding your essence (who you are). Still I remember how difficult it is to deal with it from my own heartbreaks over my 60 years. But because I am down the road in my life a ways now I have gained some insight, I can tell you those times were great learning periods that gave me insights I have used ever since. I was able to apply them to others I loved, and help them through their heartbreaks. Once I knew this was going to help others, it made the other heartbreaks that have some along, far more bearable. I am hoping I am sharing something I learned that will make yours pain a little more bearable as well.

I am keeping you in my thoughts and sending you Light. Hearts!

Love,
Cat in Seattle

babydollhead

(2,246 posts)
43. thank you for your wisdom
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 08:03 AM
Jan 2013

its also true that this comes in waves, and in between there are moments of a deep sigh, and my usual inner balance.
What IS, is where peace will be.
What I think, what I want, what I perceive as a lacking, is where the panic and pain come from.

Thank you again

Tsiyu

(18,186 posts)
8. ((((((((((((babydollhead))))))))))))
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 12:33 PM
Jan 2013


Sending thoughts of peace and comfort.

Sorry you are having a rough time. May it pass and leave you in a much better frame of mind.





babydollhead

(2,246 posts)
30. its true. thank you. the thoughts are the problem
Sun Jan 13, 2013, 12:06 PM
Jan 2013

I know where I feel it in my body. I don't know what the one sentence is that this thought says, but its right under the surface and a heavy continuous presence.

Ilsa

(62,241 posts)
10. I am hoping for the best for you, that
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 01:38 PM
Jan 2013

You will find serenity, peace, and joy again. I hope this pain passes quickly, and your wisdom will help you find your way through the darkness to happiness and fulfillment.

babydollhead

(2,246 posts)
44. thank you.
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 08:06 AM
Jan 2013

I am sure there is a big picture that I am missing with my face pressed up against the pain window.

onecent

(6,096 posts)
11. I am sending hugs and peace for you. I have
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 03:05 PM
Jan 2013

had my share of heart breaking events, and I try MY damnest to "Stay in Present Time".
I read and love the Seth books...but the main thing I take away from those books and something my late husband
lived and I tried very hard to learn. STAY IN PRESENT TIME!

He NEVER felt guilty about the past, and he NEVER worried about the future. I think about that everyday - but I have a difficult time living the message. I don't suppose it's something one can be taught, because he was that way when I met him. But when my nerves get all tied up in knots I think real hard about being "here". Is is not easy!!!

Try to keep your sense of humor in tact and know that you have many people here who love and care about you!!

Blessings to you!
Penny

babydollhead

(2,246 posts)
52. thank you. your husband was right.
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 08:58 PM
Jan 2013

and you were lucky to have been able to live with and love someone who did just that, ..Stay on Present Time. its really all we have. and breath. I keep forgetting how good it feels to inhale and exhale deeply, then I do it, and I feel a little better. Thank you.

murielm99

(31,438 posts)
53. That is wonderful advice.
Tue Jan 15, 2013, 12:18 AM
Jan 2013

I am writing it on a post-it note and putting it next to my monitor.

I do hope it helps our OP, and others here, too.

mother earth

(6,002 posts)
12. Maybe some sick humor? Don't want to make light of your pain, only make you smile.
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 03:57 PM
Jan 2013

<iframe width="640" height="360" src="

?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Matariki

(18,775 posts)
13. Romance? Breakup? Unrequited love? Loss?
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 04:11 PM
Jan 2013

Something else entirely? Depending on the situation there's different strategies for processing the emotions.

babydollhead

(2,246 posts)
32. it feels like fresh grief. Its love with impending loss.
Sun Jan 13, 2013, 12:12 PM
Jan 2013

an old love from long ago has come back into my life. I was dong fine living and being and doing my life. Now I am reawakened, stirred up, impatient, insecure, all of the old old highschool feelings even tho i am almost 50. This person is in love with me. listens, shares, feels. I have felt like this before and this is the first time someone loves me even tho I am making myself crazy. it really is the problem of being far from accepting what IS.

wovenpaint

(1,472 posts)
14. Sending you peaceful vibes
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 04:51 PM
Jan 2013

This photo has been my mantra lately. I keep it on my desktop to remind myself every day...




I agree with the tin man, a heart is worth having, even when it feels like it's breaking.




roguevalley

(40,656 posts)
15. sometimes it seems impossible to know what
Fri Jan 11, 2013, 10:18 PM
Jan 2013

and why things happen but they do for a reason. Nothing in your life is happening that you didn't have a part in deciding before you were even born. I had a near death experience and read a lot. Nothing happens without your previous knowledge and what happens is designed to help you advance your soul. In the moment, its horrible but as time goes by it gets better. You get wisdom this way. An easy life has little to teach you. Be brave. Be strong. remember, you are loved, you are perfect, you are needed. You are a perfect soul.

I always remember this: I looked to be happy and I was.

You are loved. I don't know you but I love you.

babydollhead

(2,246 posts)
34. thank you. what you said made me cry. i dont know why caring makes me cry.
Sun Jan 13, 2013, 12:15 PM
Jan 2013

I am good at helping people through soul developing sadness, but for myself, I have to keep a hand over my heart and one on my solor plexis, andpush in like I am holding myself together.

roguevalley

(40,656 posts)
41. you appear to be an empath. I am. all the women in my mother's family
Sun Jan 13, 2013, 11:06 PM
Jan 2013

are and we have to protect ourselves from taking on all the sadness of the world. I had to suspend my cable last year for three months to get back in control. I don't watch the news lately because the gun and climate stuff will strike me down. google how empaths protect themselves. My guess is you are one to whatever degree you may be able to feel. Remember, you are never ever alone and you are never anything but enveloped by love and the protection of everyone who is already gone ahead. Call on them to help you. When my mother died, I crawled into her bed and there I felt the calmness that I thought I would never feel. I still feel it there because there is where they come to me in dreams and give me soothing comfort for my trials.

You are on the path you chose even if that seems unbelievable. Look for the wisdom and know it will come back to the light again. As for help from the universe, from the creator/god force and from your departed family. They are around you now waiting for you to call to them. They will come. They are already there. HUGS and much love, honey. Always post if you need to. We will help you as best we can. Been there, done that.

NuttyFluffers

(6,811 posts)
16. when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!
Sat Jan 12, 2013, 09:02 AM
Jan 2013

because you gotta mash, crush, stomp those sonovaguns until they give up every last bit of sour juice they got.


and then you add lots of sugar and ice, stir it up, and enjoy!


thank you, thank you! try the veal, folks.

Trailrider1951

(3,452 posts)
17. Peace, Love and Light to you
Sat Jan 12, 2013, 09:07 AM
Jan 2013

May your heart be lifted.

And never stop making art, you are supremely talented.

babydollhead

(2,246 posts)
46. Thank you.
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 08:15 AM
Jan 2013

My daughter put a note on the fridge, "Mom, put on your music, make art and remember that you are good."

OneGrassRoot

(23,424 posts)
18. You are worthy of love, joy...everything you desire
Sat Jan 12, 2013, 09:43 AM
Jan 2013








A well-known speaker started off his seminar holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it...?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We may feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE.

You are special-Don't EVER forget it." If you do not pass this on, you may never know the lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to, or the hope that it may bring. Count your blessings, not your problems.

findrskeep

(713 posts)
19. Dear Babydollhead...
Sat Jan 12, 2013, 12:11 PM
Jan 2013

I feel for you and I wish you love, joy and most of all peace. One thing that may help to know is that when you are at your lowest and feel completely dreadful, there is an opening coming, and that opening will bring you clarity, understanding, and perhaps a new perspective.

If you hadn't journeyed through the darkness, you would never appreciate how bright the light is...and it is there, even if it doesn't seem like it. Ask for guidance and it will come. Experiencing the darkness only leads to one thing, growth. We all go through it, no one is immune.

But now there is so much more light here than ever before and we can interact with that light and use it to elevate ourselves. What may have taken weeks, months, years or even lifetimes to work through before, we can now do almost instantaneously.

Try intending that you have learned what it is you were supposed to learn, that you are ready to release whatever it is. And then, most importantly, set your intention that your personal vibration is rising to one of complete and unconditional love and compassion. Visualize every cell in your body upgrading, increasing to the highest frequency attainable to you right now. Just keep doing this, even if you think it's not helping. You have to "ask" and be open to receiving the light, which you are. It will work. Assistance is all around us now closer than ever before and when you come out the other side of this, you will be so much lighter than you ever could imagine. Much, much love to you.

babydollhead

(2,246 posts)
37. thank you. this is why I asked for help here.
Sun Jan 13, 2013, 12:21 PM
Jan 2013

I understand this is on a higher level then what I see. I really really am into the thick of this. That deep inhale and sigh after crying is a relief. I still wish I could accept what IS and stop feeling so sorry for myself.

roguevalley

(40,656 posts)
42. mourning something in your life isn't feeling sorry for yourself, honey.
Sun Jan 13, 2013, 11:09 PM
Jan 2013

that means what you have going on it trivial and you are somehow to blame for it. Mourn it, then gather your heart together. You will survive. We all do even when we don't want to. I love you. Remember that.

shraby

(21,946 posts)
22. I'm 70 yrs old and there this got me through much.."this too shall pass"
Sat Jan 12, 2013, 06:56 PM
Jan 2013

and you know, it always does.

davsand

(13,428 posts)
47. This too shall pass--it is maybe like a kidney stone, but it WILL pass.
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 08:16 AM
Jan 2013

My version of that same mantra, shraby. I've never been terribly dignified, you see!





Seriously, a sense of humor is all that keeps me going when it gets REALLY bad. There is not one thing ever put in front of us that we CAN'T deal with. We may choose not to, but we all have the power or ability to.



Laura

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