Any other Cult survivors on DU?

[FreeState]

I had my first post on DU locked the other day, and upon reflection I believe it was in part the verbiage I used to describe some religious movements that most see as mainstream Americana but are in my mind and experience cults or soft cults.

Growing up Mormon we were taught we were not a cult, that we had the truth. We were programmed to recoil at the use of the term cult to describe our faith. As I grew older and pried myself away from the faith, I realized that beliefs do not make something a cult. The framing that it was the gospel/truth that made us not a cult was a straw man. It's the actions of the organization, not the beliefs that feed into them, that create a cult. For example, Mormons believe families can be sealed together in temples for all time and eternity. Great belief, until you don't believe, and your "eternal family" and church then use those beliefs to justify all sorts of terrible cult like behavior.

I think the B.I.T.E. model by Steve Hassan is an excellent tool for identifying these behaviors:

https://freedomofmind.com/bite-model/

Behavior Control
Information Control
Thought Control
Emotional Control

Youtube video description:

&t=219s


Anyone else come to similar conclusions? How do you deal with terminology and walking that thin line with family and or strangers that have been socialized to respect your former faith (for no other reason than its a religion)?

[Raster]

1. Recovered Mormon here.

[MineralMan]

2. I'm familiar with that model of cults.

I tend to agree with it. Taken to its extreme, a number of religious organizations could be taken to be cults. Of course, none of them consider themselves to be cults and reject that description. That's only natural.

I won't list religious groups and denominations I consider to be cults. That would just be my opinion, and might offend followers of those groups. I never intend to offend members of religious groups, really, even though I reject all religion personally. However, when organizations of any kind destroy the personal choices of their members, then I am in opposition to that organization.

[malchickiwick]

3. Raised Mormon and PAINFULLY escaped at age 15. It is unequivocally a cult.

My parents converted in their 20s and turned their back on all extended family a la Jim Jones' disciples.

I have asked my ma if she would drink any Kool-Aid given her by the prophet (Back when it was SWK), and she unhesitatingly said yes.

[oldlibdem]

4. Any religion is a cult.

Except for mine of course! Mine is the one true faith! Now where did I put that sarcasm emoji?

[zipplewrath]

5. Almost every major religion has gone through a cult stage

As you suggest, the essence of a cult for most people is sequestration from "outsiders", and control through coercion using isolation and threats thereof.

The major religions have all gone through periods where you weren't supposed to engage those out of the faith. They usually back off (some would say for economic reasons) but some of the last phases are where one is not suppose to marry, much less have offspring outside of the "faith". There are still religions in this country today with much of this. Amish, Pennsylvania Dutch, Orthodox Jewish, and some versions of Islam still have rules along these lines to varying degrees. One of my employees has a daughter that was raised knowing that she must marry "within the Southern Baptist Faith" or the man must at least convert in order to have his "blessing". I note the son didn't seem to care much though. My sister married a Southern Baptist raised man, and his family refused to attend, other than his brother. A friend 50 years ago married a Hindu/Indian gentleman and the family refused to attend, visit, or otherwise engage this "western Christian woman.

The question becomes when does this pass from being a "cult" to being "tribal"? As with most things there is probably not a "line" but a "region". But in many ways for me, the dividing line is how one is treated if they leave the faith. Total separation and forcing others to separate too? Indifference? Or an acceptance that each must make their own choice.

[Major Nikon]

6. Most organized religions engage in behavior associated with cults

It’s pretty much impossible to have dogma without a system of behavior modification supporting it. Whether or not this rises to the level of actually being a cult is subjective.

[Runningdawg]

7. IFB - Independent Fundamental Baptist

Although in the beginning they didn't have that name. Every aspect of my life was controlled until the day I turned 18. It was 1978 and I got out just in the nick of time. I had managed to get out of 2 arranged marriages and finish HS without giving birth. The trade off was everyone decided I was a lesbian and my parents were trying to have me committed.
Every. Single. Day. I still deal with BS in my head that doesn't belong there.

[OriginalGeek]

9. I was 17 when I left home and church in 1981

And I am a white male - knowing what they teach I know how monumentally difficult it must have been for you (and probably a hundred times harder for you than for me). I'm glad we both escaped.

[Runningdawg]

10. So glad that many more followed us

If a person has never been in that situation, it's very hard to explain it to anyone else and even harder for them to understand, especially in this day and age when you can't be committed for being gay, you can ask the court to emancipate you as a minor and even sue your parents in civil court for abuse that was not reported at the time.

[edhopper]

8. The Roman Catholic Clergy

is a cult. They ARE the church. The congregation are just the sheep.
As it is obvious over and over, their prority is always to protect themselves.

[MineralMan]

11. That's Pretty Much It!

Vows of celibacy, piety, poverty, etc. Cult stuff.

[edhopper]

12. The Church is now your family.