Well, my 94-year-old mother is in the hospital again.
Looks like she'll be OK, but one never knows. I'll be flying out to California soon, and am hoping to wait until after Christmas, but I don't know yet whether I might have to try to find a airline seat before then. My father, who is also 94, is coping, but just barely. My sister and her husband are taking care of whatever needs they have, but they're doing OK in assisted living.
So, what does this have to do with the Religion Group? End of life issues are what it has to do with. Both of my parents are non-religious. Neither believes that there are any deities or such things. They think life is what it is and what you make of it. In the past couple of years, we've talked about such things, as people often do as they near the ends of their lives. At age 73, it's a conversation I can take part in, as well.
My mother, always a practical person, said, on my last visit before her dementia worsened, "You know, we live too long. We live past the time when we can look forward to things improving. I suppose modern medicine has made that happen." My father, who is a man of few, but wise words, tends to agree with her, but is striving as hard as he can to be there to the end, so he can continue to support her after 75 years of marriage. If he makes it, he will not survive past her death for very long.
Neither has any fear about the end of life. My mother, despite her advanced Alzheimer's dementia, can talk about old times quite coherently, and loves stories about family and events from the past. My father, who has very little cognitive impairment at all, shares in that sort of reflective attitude.
Both are tired. Both are feeble. Both have troublesome health issues. Both will tell you, if you ask, that they're ready to bid farewell to all of this. They'll tell you that they are happy to have lived for almost a century, but that they are tired and weary and ready to depart.
Not once have they mentioned anything about what happens next. They know what happens next. They have buried almost all of the people from their generation who they knew. They've buried their youngest son, as well, who died unexpectedly at 67. The end, as my mother once told me, is "the end and that's all there is to it, so you'd better make the most of the time you have."
And that's what they have done - made the most of their lives. They've done it very well, and are now ready to depart. They'll tell you that. A little tearfully, at times, since they have 14 great-grandchildren they'll be leaving behind, but without any sadness about the end of their own lives.
No religion. They've never had any religious beliefs. Oh, they sent their three children off to Sunday School, to "learn about the main religion of our society," but they never went to church, except for a wedding or funeral now and then. They didn't come when one of their children was singing in the choir or whatever. They were simply not religious at all. None of that Sunday School stuff took very well with any of their children.
There was no reason for them to be religious. They walked steadily through their lives, trying to be the best people they knew how to be. They succeeded in that, as well. Honesty, truthfulness, integrity, and fairness were their watchwords, and they passed those on to their offspring, as well. High ethical standards were expected and modeled throughout their lives.
So, before too much more time passes, I'll be seeing them off. It's OK, because they're OK with that. They're ready. In fact, they're quite frustrated with the difficulties of their present situation.
My parents are models of what a life without religion can be. They're excellent models of that. I wish you could know them. I do my best to follow their path through life.
= new reply since forum marked as read
