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MineralMan

(147,572 posts)
Mon Dec 17, 2018, 08:18 PM Dec 2018

After Scandal after Scandal, One Catholic Mother Faces a Choice

This article from the current issue of Vogue is the personal account of a mother facing a decision about whether to continue raising her sons in the Catholic Church. This excerpt is brief. I recommend reading the entire article at the link. It's worth your time.

https://www.vogue.com/article/catholic-church-abuse-scandal-mary-beth-keane-painful-choice

“I didn’t realize you were still practicing,” a friend said to me not long ago, when I mentioned having to drive Emmett to religion class. It’s true that I’m not quiet about my frustrations with the Church. But that’s part of being Catholic, especially in recent years: exchanging complaints about the lack of progress, the treatment of women, gays, divorcées. Really, the requisite reiteration of how appalling, disgusting, and heartbreaking the revelations have been dates back to 2002, when The Boston Globe broke its story of the widespread sexual-abuse crisis in the Boston Archdiocese. For years, Catholics have been saying that hopefully the institution is finally taking a hard look at itself. And then, typically, the conversation moves on to CYO basketball or the potholes in the church parking lot. There isn’t a Catholic I’ve met who doesn’t have at least one major criticism, who doesn’t leave some rules aside while following others. The important part seems to be that we count ourselves among the tribe.

{snip}

And I realized: It’s simply no longer possible to be a casual Catholic in the way I used to imagine myself. Probably it was never possible. To be in this Church, even in a small way, is to be party to abuse. I can’t solve the Church’s problems, obviously. Likely, no one can. But I can do the one thing within my power: leave and take my children with me. Maybe if more leave, and those pews (and coffers) are finally empty, then the Church will do a more sincere self-examination.
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After Scandal after Scandal, One Catholic Mother Faces a Choice (Original Post) MineralMan Dec 2018 OP
Kinda what I did. I'm a lifelong Catholic. But my first child was female. calimary Dec 2018 #1
Thank you for sharing that, and for thinking MineralMan Dec 2018 #2
Hasn't the RCC had enough time to make changes and failed? bitterross Dec 2018 #3
You'd think so, right? MineralMan Dec 2018 #4
I always love to see the veil lifted WhiteTara Dec 2018 #5
It will be action by the membership of the Catholic Church MineralMan Dec 2018 #6
About Vogue Magazine as a Source MineralMan Dec 2018 #7

calimary

(84,306 posts)
1. Kinda what I did. I'm a lifelong Catholic. But my first child was female.
Mon Dec 17, 2018, 08:41 PM
Dec 2018

As soon as we found out, and we found out as soon as finding out was possible, I actually did start thinking about this.

It didn’t take me long to realize something pretty serious. “What if she has ‘The Gift’?” That is, what if she was blessed with “THE Vocation” - the gift of ministry, a gift for preaching “The Good News”? A calling to serve her church - or even to LEAD her church? What if she really had the priestly or pastoral gift? I just as quickly realized that if so, she couldn’t go ANYWHERE with that Gift in the Catholic Church. She could NEVER fully express that talent. Except for joining an order of nuns, which is as high as Roman Catholicism would allow women to go.

So I decided both our kids should be baptized Presbyterian, my husband’s church. Close enough! Our son had arrived by then and we did want to get around to some sort of Baptism ceremony. There was a progressive and active Presbyterian church elsewhere in the neighborhood and we started there. I also noted that the Assistant Chief Pastor at that church was an intelligent, inspirational married woman - who had leadership skills as well as the calling, and who was soon to move, to become Chief Pastor at a large church in the Midwest.

As it turned out, our daughter manifested many gifts - but not THAT one. Nevertheless, I don’t regret my decision. I hate to see talent wasted!

 

bitterross

(4,066 posts)
3. Hasn't the RCC had enough time to make changes and failed?
Mon Dec 17, 2018, 08:53 PM
Dec 2018

This sentence from you excerpt struck me:

But that’s part of being Catholic, especially in recent years: exchanging complaints about the lack of progress, the treatment of women, gays, divorcées.

If that's part of being Catholic, accepting that the organization will continue to stagnate on these issues, then why are you Catholic if you disagree? Tradition, ritual, family. Sure, I hear all those reasons.

One thing I can assure you though. You will not change the RCC from within. Especially as a woman. I'm certain the RCC just needs to be demolished. I do not believe it can be redeemed.

WhiteTara

(30,155 posts)
5. I always love to see the veil lifted
Mon Dec 17, 2018, 08:59 PM
Dec 2018

from people's eyes. I took myself out of that 50 years ago and declared myself not christian about 20 years after that. I have considered myself pagan -- one of the country, earth lover. Knowing the earth itself is sentient along with the rest of the universe is so awe inspiring and humbling all at the same time. I started studying Buddhism because they believe that when you find a belief that is untrue, you must change your belief. And they are very intellectual and organized and logical.

I found an article about the evangelical movement. Quite long, I haven't finished it yet; but, it shows the rampant religious abuse of the "spiritual leaders" who are mostly autocratic, abusive, tyrannical men with an agenda.

https://chrisstroop.com/2018/06/14/escape-from-jesus-land-on-recognizing-evangelical-abuse-and-finding-the-strength-to-reject-the-faith-of-our-fathers/

MineralMan

(147,572 posts)
6. It will be action by the membership of the Catholic Church
Tue Dec 18, 2018, 09:29 AM
Dec 2018

that will change its direction. Only that will send the message that needs to be sent. I was glad to see that Vogue article, and thought it made the case very well, indeed. I'll look at your link, as well.

MineralMan

(147,572 posts)
7. About Vogue Magazine as a Source
Tue Dec 18, 2018, 10:51 AM
Dec 2018

I didn't find this story by searching Google. Our household has a subscription to Vogue. and GQ and several other Conde Nast magazines. They are my afternoon reading material. Why do I read Vogue? Because it's on the coffee table, and because it frequently has thought-provoking articles interspersed with the fashion ads and other fantasy stuff. Same thing with GQ. Same thing with Vanity Fair.

In 2018, there are precious few outlets for long-form magazine articles. Only a few magazines generate enough ad revenues to enable paying outstanding writers to produce such articles. So, you find interesting things in magazines you wouldn't expect to publish such articles. This week, I found the article at the link in the OP in the current issue of Vogue, following one of those awful ads for perfume that assaulted my nose.

Information is where you find it, even in some unlikely places.

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