So...do you, or have you, ever ridden like an a-hole?

[sir pball]

"Roving thug biker GANGS" are obviously a hot topic right now; this seems like something worth discussing. My "gang" of a couple of my friends from NYC, my good buddy from college who lives up around Albany, a few of his friends and I all lean towards the sporting end of the spectrum - we all ride at least moderately fast machines (I have a lightly tuned SV650, couple of us have 600cc rockets. No liters though) and get together for a group trackday a few times every summer. We don't and would never race through traffic, or block roads, or stunt really (I respect it as a growing segment of the sport but not for me), let alone gang up on a car and beat the driver. None of us have a single ticket in four years as a group.

But, I'll confess, on intimately familiar backroads with very good, long, visibility and clean runouts, the slightest thought of coming in hot, grabbing the brakes hard, and touching a knee at the apex might sometimes begin to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind. I'm willing to be a "dickhead" or even "thug" (I've gotten some choice abuse for venturing out in my track leathers) and risk my own bike and skin and as long as there's nobody else involved, frankly I don't see the big deal.

You?

[8 track mind]

1. I have done some genuinely hillarious things on motorcycles before

in small towns you can get away with quite a bit. here's a list:

(this has taken place over a period of 25 years)

1. Popped a wheelie on a fully dressed 1982 Honda Goldwing. That was very ugly.

2. Jumped (more like a bunny hop) a late 70's Kawasaki KZ650.

3. Got tired of sitting in traffic in 110 degree heat in Ft. Worth, Texas so i climbed the shoulder of a freeway on my XL600r and hit the service roads.

4. Managed to get a Honda Trail 70 5 feet in the air using a home made ramp. The landing was violent enough to send me flying into the air. I still remember the sound of the rear suspension letting out a healthy "WHACK!"

5. Started a 1972 Husky WR250 six speed with car wash air freshener. The piston and cylinder was worn pretty badly making it a nightmare to start when cold. I had washed my old pick up a week prior and found a nearly full can of that overpowering air freshener and kept it. on the day when we needed the husky going, i did the cigarette lighter test and found it to be damn explosive. The best part was that the exhaust on the bike smelled really really nice for a few seconds.

6. burned a rear tire to the point of exploding on a Honda Spree.

i have tons more, but im going riding

[sir pball]

4. I'll see your Wing-wheelie and raise you

A stoppie on a Super Glide...granted it was an "ohshit" moment behind an idiot cager but it was still a sight that my brain just refused to process as an impossibility.

[8 track mind]

5. now THAT'S a feat.....

that is a tank of a bike.

Here is another one of my favorite stories.......

My best friend and I both came up with the historically bad idea of firing up a 1974 Ossa 250 Phantom dirt bike engine (minus the rest of the dirt bike) on his Garage floor. The engine still had it's lower electrics intact so all that was needed was a coil. Easy! We located one that would work and duct taped it to the side of the cylinder. After i did some creative wiring and points gapping, we had a nice fat blue spark appearing at the plug. The engine had no carburetor, just an open intake port which we sprayed a large amount of windshield de-icer ( mostly Methanol ) to see if we could get it to hit a few times. I held the engine, and my buddy punted the kick starter............WHACK!.............

What followed next was one of the most obscene and violent lessons in the world of physics I've ever witnessed: Instead of the 250cc Spanish motocrosser engine making a few revolutions, we were instantly greeted with 60 million instant RPM. An extremely loud 60 million RPM I might add. I instantly let go of the now awakened (and very pissed off) chunk of screaming aluminum while we both ran for opposite ends of the garage and watched it hop around, taking out pieces of the concrete floor in the process. After what seemed an eternity, the bastard finally exhausted its fuel supply, coming to rest on it's side.

To make matters worse we decided (for reasons that still aren't quite clear to me to this day) to pull this stunt at 12:30 AM. This of course awakened his sleeping Mom, the Former Marine. She was not amused by this and proceeded to verbally rip us new ones, in full USMC fashion.

[sir pball]

6. He was a tank of a guy..

And always rode scrunched right up against the tank, almost hugging the bar to his chest....good for handling, terrible for panic braking.

Kevin Cameron, is that you?

Reminds me of the time I tried to hop up my first dirt bike (70s CR80 or some such..I only had it till 10 so the details escape me) by strapping my recently deceased grandfather's mini oxygen tank behind the seat and running the line right into the carb. Duct tape and hose clamp kind of job. Got it rolling, twisted the valve open and gunned it. And promptly learned the pleasures of replacing pistons and conrods. Nitrous has nothing on that stuff..

[8 track mind]

7. LOL!

Yeah that's the point of NO2, the nitrogen atoms slow down the process just a bit. I did the same thing with a 2HP Briggs engine using oxygen out of my cutting rig. It spun up fast enough that i thing it outran the ignition system. That was awesome!

[frylock]

2. about the craziest thing that i do is split lanes..

and that's not nearly as nuts as a lot of people might think. there's a lot of room there, and it's much safer than being sandwiched between two cars in stop-n-go traffic.

[sir pball]

3. That's about as nutty as I get in town

And even then usually only at lights. Split to the line and hole shot on green. My first summer here I didn't notice the NYPD cruiser until I got up next to him...all I got a wave and a "aren't you naughty" smile.

[Glassunion]

8. Yes...

All with just cause.

I ride in a relaxed and calm manner. However when someone does something intentionally stupid or dangerous... Well... Let's just say that if you want to remove a mirror from a car, hit it from the top down. It'll rip right off.

[sir pball]

9. A good pair of gloves is very important protective gear.

I work with my hands so I sprang for an extraordinarily nice pair of gloves...they do kind of make me look like a racetrack refugee/wannabe stormtrooper, but (completely hypothetically of course) if my knuckles should happen to hit a mirror, or body panel, they would be quite well protected:

[Glassunion]

10. Looks funny while riding my HD

But I have similar winter gloves.

[sir pball]

11. They finally started making them in solid black

Too late for me, but I'd heartily recommend them.

[Glassunion]

12. I just spent a pretty penny on these.

Well worth it. But I do look a tad silly in them. But who cares? I'm comfy warm and dry in them.

[sir pball]

13. Are those the Scarabs?

I've been entertaining getting a pair of those...my Alpinestars are brilliant, but they're a bit too well-ventilated for the cooler days. I have a pair of ancient skiing overgloves I use for cold or rain, but it would be nice to have some "proper" gear. And sadly they're less than half what I paid for my A*s, sometimes my impulse control can be REALLY bad

[Glassunion]

14. They are indeed.

They are not as warm as I'd hoped for a pair or winter gloves. Also, way bulky and a bit restrictive. But I think the will break in nicely and that will improve. The leather is a very high quality and I feel that they will be a tough glove that will lasts a long time.

But if you're looking for warm I would opt for something else. I ended up buying heated liners.