Can I get some feedback on an article?

[ddickey]

I posted an article about the Declaration of Independence and America as a 'Christian nation,' and I wonder if I can get some honest feedback on it. Here's a link.

Thanks in advance.

[HopeHoops]

1. The article is good, but I do have some comments.

The use of emphasis detracts from the flow. The inline links should be simple links and quotes are better than italics for references like "Thomas the Tank Engine Gets Tired". Overall, your points are well presented and in academic language accessible to most people who are interested in such things to begin with. The text is excellent. Good job. There's just too much "fluff" in the visual representation. I prefer clean text with clear indications of references and links. I'm old school. But hey, you wanted honest feedback.

I finished the Tractitus and am working on a review. Damn my German is rusty. Sorry, but I like to be thorough. It's not an easy book to review. I'd rate it at a 400 level class text. I haven't abandoned it, and actually have spent WAY too much time on it. It's a passion. I also like to get laid, so sometimes the book has to wait.

Oh, and as for Wittgenstein's work, I can honestly say he was a lunatic genius. His work was inaccessible even to Russell. Having studied symbolic logic, I found it laborious but accurate at least up through section 5. He got a little esoteric in section 6 and hence contradicted himself. You can't understand him without realizing that his life was fucked up from birth on. His dad was an authoritarian, he had three brothers commit suicide, and he wrote the Tractitus while in a prison camp. He also renounced a great deal of it in later life. People mature, and that's that. But he was also an abusive teacher after he abandoned his fortune and later in life regretted his actions. Frankly, most philosophers are pretty fucked up. You look around you and see the shadows on the wall and know you exist beyond that realm. It makes it difficult to deal with the TV addicts.

Tom

[ddickey]

4. Sorry

I forgot I posted this. I've been posting on a lot of pages and overlooked this one. I am trying to establish a stlye similar to what you're suggesting--simplicity, simplicity, simplicity; that's what I'm going for. And I agree that Wittgenstein was a lunatic genuis. I'm about to launch into re-reading all of his work, starting with his pre-Tractatus notebooks. Are you still working on that review? Any idea when you'll have a draft finished?

Thanks.

[HopeHoops]

5. I finished the German text and am back on the book. I've broken it down into a few basic comments.

My problem is being long-winded. There are a few basic things that need to be addressed that are directly relevant to the book, but there are many more that I want to address that aren't germane to the review. Between illness and another back fracture, I've been a little behind the power curve on everything. Bills are high on the agenda for today, if I can sit up that long. The task has not been forgotten and perhaps I think about it too much. I'll do my best to get it ready within a week.

I believe you asked me a while back what I though of Wittgenstein as a person. That's not an easy answer. It's more what I think he became through his circumstances. He had a pretty fucked up life.

[yellerpup]

2. I'm not good at parsing this type of writing.

I'm a playwright and novelist, but I will mention that Thos. Jefferson cribbed heavily from the Iroquois Constitution. What he left out was the 'grandmothers'. All men and women are created equal. This information is for your future writing, should you choose to pursue it. I like your writing. Good essay.

[Fearless]

3. Along the same lines as HopeHoops...

In text citation detracts a bit from the flow, although I do understand it's a common style of late. I generally prefer footnotes as a rule. To me, footnotes give the reader the option of following up on points you make if they desire. In text citation thrusts upon the casual reader and the essay skimmer more information than is necessary, blocking ease of flow. If it were me, I'd look at the audience you want to speak to and adjust accordingly, if necessary.