Would love help with a title for this!

[Tucker08087]

Any suggestions?
Again, it’s written as song lyrics, so there is repetition, but I may keep it this way to use as a stand-alone piece of poetry. Thoughts on that would also be appreciated! 💕🎶

Just what is your problem now
What do you want from me
You’re blaming me for all your woes
Full of rage and jealousy

What the hell is going on
And who the hell are you
Point that finger in my face
Four more point back at you

I’m not special, but certainly I try
I’m a sinner. I’m vain and sometimes lie
I’m not perfect, though I try to be
I’m not God. Don’t even play Him on TV

What exactly is your issue
That you spew names and insults
Do you think that I’m that mighty
Is this some new crazy kind of cult

You think that I’ve got super powers
Responsible for centuries of wars
You even blame me for the weather.
Tell me, did I kill the dinosaurs?

I’m not special, but certainly I try
I’m not perfect. I even curse and cry
I’m no angel, though I try to be
I’m not God. Don’t even play Him on TV

So what is your malfunction
What the hell did I do now
To make you think that your mistakes
Are all my fault somehow

I’m not that special, hard as I may try
I’m a sinner, I envy and I lie
Nobody’s perfect, your example’s plain to see
I’m not God. Don’t even play Him on TV.

Damn it all to hell and back
Have mercy, glory be
I try to walk a narrow path
But I’m not God.
Good Lord!
Don’t even play Him on TV!

[3catwoman3]

1. I don't know who your intended audience is, and I...

...have only read this once so far, but the repeated line "Don't even play Him on TV" catches my attention. Might be a worthy title.

[Tucker08087]

5. Thank you!

Was considering it! It’s usually either a group of words that catch the audience’s attention or a theme/idea that most people get from the piece.
Very helpful!

[Tucker08087]

11. Also,

The band I write for is heavy metal (actually nu metal, low-tuned guitars, not as wild as heavy metal), but my writing tends to lean toward country. I’m assuming this will end up in the country pile. They don’t want to lose me (plus they are very nice people) so for every 5 they do, they let me do one however I want, and they do background vocals and play the instruments. This one will most likely fall into that category.

Several that I’ve written and posted here, still bring me to tears when I sing them. If I post my bare vocal track, you’ll see I’m not a strong singer, I often sound like a chipmunk 🐿 and you’ll probably be able to tell where I’m holding back emotions because my pipes close up, so I’m off pitch or not as strong. And pretty much all my beginning are weak because I get nervous without music.

Probably more info than you wanted or needed! 💕

[3catwoman3]

12. Well, I am not a singer, although I like to sing when no one...

...is listening - not much volume, and limited range, but I can stay in tune. Anything an octave above middle C is too high, and anything below E-F below middle C is too low.

I know without a doubt that vocal cords and tear ducts cannot function at the same time. The latter definitely inhibits the former. I can’t even talk when I cry, let alone sing.

Can you post a link to some of your work?

[Tucker08087]

13. I'll try.

I’ll see if I can figure out how to do that.

[Wounded Bear]

2. Tough to name someone else's work, but...

Maybe "I'm Just Me"

I kind of like the "I'm Not God" meme, but sounds a bit pretentious, maybe.

Perhaps "Just a Sinner On the Path"

Hope that sparks some thoughts for you.

[Tucker08087]

6. Good ideas!

I was afraid I’m Not God might either offend people or make it appear, by its title, that it’s a religious piece, and then they might be offended.
Your other ideas are great! Overall theme of the piece without giving too much away!
Thank you!

[FM123]

3. Great song!

Possible title: I'm not Him

[Tucker08087]

7. Thank you!

OOh! I like that! You’d have to learn which “him” the title refers to, so nobody would accidentally think they have been tricked into reading a religious piece.
Great idea!

Can’t wait to meet with some musicians to lay down some musical tracks. I generally like my last piece best. That would be this one, (at least for one night) but I think it will remain in my top 5 for quite some time!
Glad you liked it, and that’s for the idea!

[FM123]

8. Don't forget to post a video of the song once you finish laying down the tracks

can't wait to hear it!

[Tucker08087]

10. I will!

It may be a while. I do the songs much faster than the musicians do their tracks. I think they told me I’ve submitted 40! And they’re working on the 4th! I did just vocal tracks for 6 or 7 others. They will sound quite different, I’m sure.

There’s one on the forum called Listen that is about sexual assault. It’s like my #MeToo song. It’s very monotone in parts because I wanted my voice to express shock but the instruments to show anger, so I expect it to sound very different.
Another, Pass the Bottle, the band also says is monotone. Maybe it is. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I don’t have a powerful voice, but people tell me it is expressive. I’m hoping the music will also add further emotion to that one, as well.

Thanks again! I love getting feedback! The guys are work with are headbangers, so we have very polite creative differences. It’s nice to hear from others. I won’t hear from the band until tomorrow.

[lunasun]

4. I don't know but this is my favorite verse

You think that I’ve got super powers
Responsible for centuries of wars
You even blame me for the weather.
Tell me, did I kill the dinosaurs?


I sort of like the previously mentioned
Don’t even play him on TV
Also
Nobody’s perfect your example’s plain to see

[Tucker08087]

9. Thank you!

I am kind of partial to that stanza myself!
I also like the ending...

But I’m not God.
Good Lord!
Don’t even play Him on TV!


I want to kind of speak, with exaggeration, “Good Lord!”

In the chorus, I tried to change whatever came after “I’m not perfect, but certainly I try” or whatever variation I used, and I really struggled because I wanted to write “I drink and I get high” just because it’s different, but I actually don’t get high and my mom (who’s about 80) likes to listen to my songs, and I couldn’t do it to her! 💕

Thanks so much for the feedback! I have other song lyrics that I recently posted if interested. I turn off from every form of media and write something every night. It keeps me sane!

[Tucker08087]

14. I wanted one of the refrains to say...

I’m not perfect
I drink and I get high

But my poor mom would have had a coronary, and I honestly don’t get high, though it has been recommended to deal with the nausea of chemo. I may try it for that reason, but truly I just liked the flow and rhythm of it.

[lunasun]

15. You could change from curse and cry?

I’m not special, but certainly I try
I’m not perfect. I drink and I get high

? Or add another one

M.j helped a friend of mind through chemo . If there is medical marijuana in your area they could help you find the right strain
It helped my friend with nausea and appetite
Once healed never used again
Let mom know it’s medicine now not just stoners

Did you decide on a title yet?

[Tucker08087]

16. My doctor is in Philly and did prescribe it.

New Jersey didn’t know how to fill it. It really did help in the hospital.

I actually did not decide on a name yet. We are still working on the musical arrangement for the instruments, and often a line stands out to become the title. I gave them lyrics the day before that are more comparable to their metal genre, so they are working on that in the studio. It includes a bit of cursing, it’s snarking and even mean, so I didn’t share it here! Some topic, for the most part, though. They agree to do one my way for about every 4 or 5 that I write for them, so I try to be patient. I was considering “Not Even on TV,” but I wrote one about addiction where the chorus repeats “I am not your savior” so originally I named it “Savior.” We changed it to “Close the Curtain” because one stanza says: Life isn’t certain/ I’m not that person /I closed the curtain/ Go save yourself.” It was a switch of emotion in the song, and stuck with listeners, so we changed the title. When I publish poetry, I rarely do titles, unless the publisher insists. It’s just not my thing. But songs need them.

[Tucker08087]

17. I plan to do more writing while self-quarantined.

I once played keyboard, so I think I’ll try to relearn or take YouTube lessons. Might as well get through this as a new and improved me. 🎹🥰

[lunasun]

19. ++Sometimes when people are cooped up it clears the air of other distractions and makes

room for other things .. like creativity
Open spaces appear

[Tucker08087]

18. I like it.

I curse and I get high does just flow off the tongue. My mom lives with me and enjoys hearing me mess with the songs and then sing them. I tape them for her to hear when I lay down the vocals. Maybe I’ll just tell her my thoughts on it and see if she gets “funny” about it. She may understand the creative aspect. Thanks for the input!

[Tucker08087]

20. How about simply...

TV?
Or I’m not God?
I don’t want to give away the cow.

[Tucker08087]

22. Lol!

😂🤣😂👍 That was good!
Thanks! I’m glad you read it. I may have figured out a way to send it in musical form, but everyone is isolating, so there would be no music. I’ll hide in the garage and see how bad it sounds. 😬

[nilesobek]

23. My suggestion:"It's not me, its you."

[Star-Thrower]

24. I kinda like the title of

What the Hell?

[islandbrew]

25. Maybe "Can I Help You?"

I'm liking it, my friend!

[Tucker08087]

26. Almost like a response to "a Karen?"