Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search
1 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
And again... (Original Post) Harker Nov 2020 OP
This is good! CaliforniaPeggy Nov 2020 #1

CaliforniaPeggy

(152,071 posts)
1. This is good!
Thu Nov 19, 2020, 01:21 PM
Nov 2020

I took the liberty of rearranging it a bit. See what you think. My thoughts are below.


hawk shadow

suddenly

blue jays go silent




I rearranged it so it would flow more easily. And I like the ambiguity of putting suddenly in the middle.

Your poem is full of vivid images and is strong!






Latest Discussions»Culture Forums»Poetry»And again...