So I read that Jesus Christ name originally was going to be Gary.

[Duncanpup]

That is until Mary stubbed her toe.

[3Hotdogs]

1. Today, some say it was going to be

Donald.

[Duncanpup]

2. You sir are correct

[mwooldri]

3. And God's name is Harold.

Our Father, who art in heaven, Harold be thy name.

After all Jesus himself told us this.

[gab13by13]

4. The nuns never told me that.

[BobsYourUncle]

5. Funnee!

I haven’t laughed so hard since seeing the fart scene in “Blazing Saddles”

I’m on my fourth glaucoma drops of the morning and can’t tell if it’s tears or medication that’s running down my cheeks. 😂

[Beartracks]

12. Aren't tears of joy considered to be medicine?

Second only to laughter.

===========

[KJohnson]

6. Actually, "Jesus" is a Roman name (like Cassius, Brutus, Marcus, Aurelius, etc.)

[TheRickles]

8. It's the Romanized form of Yeshua, aka Joshua.

[jmowreader]

7. He had a brother, you know

His brother's name was God Dammit.

"God Dammit, get back in here and finish your homework."
"Jesus Christ, clean your fucking room."
"God Dammit, how many times have I told you to make sure we have water?"

And then came the inevitable...

"God Dammit, get your ass to the market and get us some food for dinner."
"Dad, I'm Jesus Christ!"

[Marthe48]

9. Jesus Christ is a horse at the riding stable

Little Johnnie heard the name right after a horse kicked a groom in the stomach.

[jmowreader]

19. John Smith got consigned to Hell

On his first day, Satan was walking him around the place. They pass by a big beach, nice houses, big green fields, all populated by people truly looking like they’re having a good time. They go to the mess hall and see reasonably appetizing food. It looks…well, maybe not some sort of paradise but a pretty decent place to be. They go to nicely-equipped workshops where people are happily working.

John is perplexed. “You aren’t setting me up, are you? Like, you’re going to show me all this stuff then throw me in a vat of boiling asphalt, would you?”

“No,” said the Devil. “I’ve never done that shit.”

Then they come to something that looks like the Berlin Wall and John heard screams of agony coming from behind it.

“I knew it! You were just trying to trick me!”

“No John, I would not. Over there are the Pentecostals and Baptists. I have no idea why, but that’s what they want.”

[Marthe48]

20. lol

Please sir, may I have another? Smack! lol

[EddieOnTheMesa]

10. And Then

He wound up being the only White Guy in Jerusalem.

[twodogsbarking]

16. A miracle and he looked just like the UPS driver.

[Higherarky]

11. I thought Jesus Christ name was actually Andy

Ya know, like

Andy walks with me
Andy talks with me
Andy tells me I am his own ...
🎶

[Backseat Driver]

17. Ahhhh, yes - "In the Garden"

"It's a simple little ditty that doesn't say much" said a pastor of our congregation many years ago who preferred the good ol' Texan GOP fearsome evangelical fire and brimstone sermon delivery on the doorstep of my youthful mind...so negative! I also never wanted to march off to war like a soldier! I finally determined that, if this relationship was so personal, the less said in the company of others was lots better. A solitary walk in the beauty of nature was always a more positive way to spend one's time.

I go to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses
And the joy we shared, as we tarried there
No other has ever known...

Chorus: As you said 'bout Andy.

[machoneman]

13. Now that's funny! Thanks.

[niyad]

14. you nearly owed me a keyboard.

[KS Toronado]

15. Ouch

[Wonder Why]

18. I've never understood the people on D.U. who think it is funny to make fun

of the beliefs of people, not their misuse of it. A lot of believers, Black, Asian Latino and white, are not maggots who use religion for hate just as there are a lot of atheists who are like them and truly believe there is no God.

On the other hand, there are comparable people who are atheists, Jewish, Islamic, Christian, Native American and other religions who are equally bigoted.

Jesus, per the Bible, taught love, not hate. If some of his followers use His name to hurt others, it is them one can attack. I have no religion but I cringe at some of the intolerance, bigotry and lack of understanding or empathy shown on this site. My expectations when joining were so much higher.

As much as I don't believe, I admire the music, the sense of peace and the efforts to help others of many of those who believe in Christ. Listen to Soul or Appalachian Music sometime. There is no hate; no criticism or making fun of others.

Even the Baptists. When I volunteered with the Red Cross during Katrina on two tours, we would drive the ERV vehicles to the nearby Baptist setup where they would help is load hot food for the needy. When we returned in the evening, some of those same people were still there helping us unload the empty containers and clean our ERV. I asked one Baptist man about his hours and he said he had to get up at 4AM to help with the cooking. That is being a Christian.

[Marthe48]

21. I understand what you're saying

I have my own concept of God and Jesus, and it is quite different from what rwnj and holy rollers push. I don't feel like I'm denying my beliefs or others, but I refuse to believe that the rw fascists have a clue about what they are talking about whether it's politics, finances, education, reproduction or religion and I will make fun of their perversion of my faith. Keeps me sane.