It is to laugh - Part 3
On Judgement Day, two forever Trumpers meet God at the pearly gates and God asks them if they have any questions. One says “yes, please tell us the true results of the 2020 presidential election.” God tells them that the election was not rigged and that Biden won the presidency fair and square. The guy turns towards his friend and whispers, “looks like this fraud goes higher up than we ever imagined”
Trump went to the Post Office to buy stamps for Melania's Christmas cards.
"What Denomination?" asked the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said Trump. "Well, give me 50
Baptist and 50 Catholic."
Three maga women died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of Heaven. St Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is "What is Easter"?
The first maga replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey and are thankful..."
"Wrong!, you are not welcome here, I'm afraid. You must go to the other place!" replies St. Peter.
He turns to the second maga, and asks the same question: "What is Easter?"
The second maga replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."
St. Peter looks at the second maga, bangs his head on the pearly gates in disgust and says, "wrong, and you will have to join your friend in the other place. You two are not welcome in Heaven."
He then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "Do YOU know what Easter is"?
The third maga smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is."
"Oh?" says St Peter, incredulously.
"Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder."
St. Peter smiled broadly with delight.
The third maga continued. "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."
Presidential Tragedy
President Trump is visiting an elementary school today and he
visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion
related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asks Trump if he would like to lead the class in the
discussion of the word, "tragedy."
So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next
door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over,
that would be a tragedy."
"No," says Trump, "that would be an ACCIDENT."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children
drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Mr. President. "That's what we would call a
GREAT LOSS."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Trump
searches the room.
"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, way in the back of the room, a small boy raises his hand. In a
quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. and Mrs. Trump, were
struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, by a terrorist, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic," exclaims Trump, "that's right. And can you tell me WHY that
would be a TRAGEDY?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it
certainly wouldn't be a great loss."