I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don’t have acne. Life is great.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.
Now, I’m wondering: did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?

[alwaysinasnit]

1. You truly are a treasure CaliforniaPeggy. It's been a while since I've had such a good

laugh.

[Captain Zero]

2. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

my best chuckle.

If you laughed at this then give it a REC.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

3. Oddly enough, I can not only touch my toes, but I can put my hands flat on the floor.

I'm 72. I guess I'll be a pariah now.

[-misanthroptimist]

10. A pariah? Heavens, no!

You're the person we'll ask to pick up our keys when we drop them. TIA

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

11. Happy to help out when you drop your keys.

[judesedit]

4. So true. I love it. Thank you for the laugh.

[GReedDiamond]

5. Pizza

[DFW]

6. I can relate

I'm so old, I have fossils of animals that used to be my house pets.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. I remember fossils!

Ah, so they used to be house pets? Ha!

[multigraincracker]

8. For the first time ever, I don't have any enemies.

I have out lived all of them..

[appalachiablue]

9. Luv it, thank you Peggy! Sweet

[bucolic_frolic]

12. I would laugh at it if it weren't so true

I often wonder how do I get out of this mess? But the issues are so complex it's like fumbling Rubick's Cube at high speed with no obvious place to begin.