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Croney

(4,924 posts)
Sun Sep 3, 2017, 03:55 PM Sep 2017

I have an unwanted superpower.

Invisibility comes upon me when I'm not expecting it. I'll stand in an order line only to have the server look behind me and ask the next person what they want.

Yesterday I went into the dog groomer's to ask about making an appointment for my dog. A couple brought their dog in behind me. The clerk looked right through me and asked the couple if she could help them. I blurted out YES YOU CAN, and she didn't even seem to know where the voice was coming from.

This great but unpredictable talent of invisibility comes to people over 70 like me. I'm sure it starts forming earlier and goes unappreciated for a while.

28 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I have an unwanted superpower. (Original Post) Croney Sep 2017 OP
People are so frickin' rude sometimes. How can they DO that? Squinch Sep 2017 #1
Cast off that obnoxious cloak of invisibility! CaliforniaPeggy Sep 2017 #2
You didn't mention your height True Dough Sep 2017 #3
No, I'm 5'6" and not really thin. Croney Sep 2017 #5
Yes, but they see young people who just stand there! Croney Sep 2017 #4
For12 years I shopped at a Safeway store- marybourg Sep 2017 #6
That's it, the magic glasses! Croney Sep 2017 #7
DU needs a like button RandomAccess Sep 2017 #19
Sometimes I find muttering semi-under my breath helps. Also staring at the clerk. Shrike47 Sep 2017 #8
I think I'll try muttering. Croney Sep 2017 #9
You could neglect your personal hygiene central scrutinizer Sep 2017 #18
I'm invisaible Mr.Bill Sep 2017 #10
That happens to me sometimes, too. I just ask loudly "am I invisible?", and add a word after "I"... George II Sep 2017 #11
It's not just age locks Sep 2017 #12
Indeed. At the young age of 58, I'm losing visibility. PatrickforO Sep 2017 #13
I became invisible in my 40s Kittycow Sep 2017 #14
Oh, yeah...that starts happening after 45, actually. Honeycombe8 Sep 2017 #15
Yes! On the passivity of older women. I tried to keep my marybourg Sep 2017 #22
That's it! We need to speak up more, in a polite way. But speak up and out, nonetheless. nt Honeycombe8 Sep 2017 #23
Mr. Pool sez... Aviation Pro Sep 2017 #16
I'm starting to notice my own invisibility super-power. kag Sep 2017 #17
Mystery Men - Invisible Boy! drmeow Sep 2017 #20
Most women over 50 have the weird feeling of suddenly becoming invisible Warpy Sep 2017 #21
Yep! Trueblue Texan Sep 2017 #27
Do "The Walk" Ohiya Sep 2017 #24
Oh yes. Croney Sep 2017 #25
You're only invisible if you let yourself be I pity the poor sucker who tries to ignore me BigBearJohn Sep 2017 #26
Sure, we're seen if we speak up. Croney Sep 2017 #28

Squinch

(52,745 posts)
1. People are so frickin' rude sometimes. How can they DO that?
Sun Sep 3, 2017, 04:03 PM
Sep 2017

Unless you really did put on your invisible cloak, in which case what do you expect?

CaliforniaPeggy

(152,097 posts)
2. Cast off that obnoxious cloak of invisibility!
Sun Sep 3, 2017, 04:03 PM
Sep 2017

Make more noise!

Wave your arms, raise your voice and like that!

People notice me when I do those things. Try it..........you'll like it!

Croney

(4,924 posts)
4. Yes, but they see young people who just stand there!
Sun Sep 3, 2017, 04:10 PM
Sep 2017

Maybe I'll start wearing bright colors and shiny beads! 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

marybourg

(13,181 posts)
6. For12 years I shopped at a Safeway store-
Sun Sep 3, 2017, 04:26 PM
Sep 2017

which was the only supermarket in the area- and they were unable to see women standing in line at a checkout counter. No matter how many women were on line, they were unable to see them and to decide to open a new checkout. Men, however, were quite visible, and as soon as one of them joined the line, no matter how few were already in line, a new checkout counter opened up.

I was very happy when a Kroger supermarket opened up across the street, newer, bigger, better, and they had the magic glasses which enabled them to see women as well as men, in order to gauge whether to open a new checkout !

Shrike47

(6,913 posts)
8. Sometimes I find muttering semi-under my breath helps. Also staring at the clerk.
Sun Sep 3, 2017, 05:17 PM
Sep 2017

I'm not kidding. Of course, I tend to just stop muttering and say something after a bit.

central scrutinizer

(12,441 posts)
18. You could neglect your personal hygiene
Sun Sep 3, 2017, 06:57 PM
Sep 2017

If the clerk's senses of sight and hearing aren't working, maybe their sense of smell is.

George II

(67,782 posts)
11. That happens to me sometimes, too. I just ask loudly "am I invisible?", and add a word after "I"...
Sun Sep 3, 2017, 06:26 PM
Sep 2017

....if I'm particularly annoyed.

locks

(2,012 posts)
12. It's not just age
Sun Sep 3, 2017, 06:28 PM
Sep 2017

it's also size. I'm 5 ft; when big tall usually young men nearly run me over I think they actually don't see me. Also, crossing a crowded intersection on foot I'm always appalled that people stride directly into me no matter which "side" I'm on as if I'm not there. All the stores now have such high shelves I cannot reach anything on the top shelf. One day I tried to reach a half-gallon milk and it fell on my head. I mentioned at the store that I was not the only short person on earth but they didn't make a change.

Most of the people I met in Europe were gracious and seldom rude. But I noticed that on the narrow sidewalks of Spain, France and even in UK people walked straight ahead and never looked to see if someone was coming toward them. I never saw one person step aside or say excuse me.

Kittycow

(2,396 posts)
14. I became invisible in my 40s
Sun Sep 3, 2017, 06:34 PM
Sep 2017

when I started looking like a middle-aged lady. Then I became less mobile in my 50s and started using a cane and orthopedic shoes. Even more invisible. I'm turning 65 soon (what?) so I'm super-duper invisible.

It only really bothers me when I smile at random people in public just to have a friendly countenance; they often react like I'm an axe murderer but I still do it anyway.

Honeycombe8

(37,648 posts)
15. Oh, yeah...that starts happening after 45, actually.
Sun Sep 3, 2017, 06:40 PM
Sep 2017

There are tips to help make yourself more noticeable.

I think sometimes it's not just the age. It's the blahness and passivity of older women. They're so quiet, unnoticeable, sometimes meek. Sometimes they don't want to draw attention to themselves, and they're successful at it! A good example is when that Mr. Khan and his wife, father of the Muslim soldier. Remember how she stood off to the side, not saying a word? Not even making a facial expression. Almost as if she wasn't there.

Then, too, is the phenomenon where a couple outranks a single woman. Shopping in a furniture store, I had trouble once getting waited on when they were super busy, while a couple of couples who came in after me got helped. They zero in on the couples, figuring they'll be more apt to buy and will spend more. They might be right...I dunno.

But unless they think you don't have money, so that's not it...there are tips a person can do to be more noticeable in line. I notice when I look awful (like I've been working in the house and run to the store in a wrinkled t-shirt with no makeup), I'm not as noticeable to the staff in the grocery store. The nicer you look, the more upscale, the more attractive - the more noticeable. But we here in America put attractive & wealthy people up on a pedestal, don't we? We notice.

marybourg

(13,181 posts)
22. Yes! On the passivity of older women. I tried to keep my
Mon Sep 4, 2017, 01:58 PM
Sep 2017

post above (on the Safeway lines) to the point, but I could have added: every time this happened I remonstrated with the checkout staff and frequently with the manager.

Almost every time they adamantly denied doing what they were doing, but, finally, one checker came clean. She said: "Yes, I know we do it. It's because women (almost all elderly in my community) are so tolerant. Men start to get irritated in just a few minutes and sometimes leave".

kag

(4,108 posts)
17. I'm starting to notice my own invisibility super-power.
Sun Sep 3, 2017, 06:53 PM
Sep 2017

Just yesterday I was at a hotel where the breakfast buffet was quite crowded. I stood in line for the toaster for a couple of minutes, and just when it was my turn a couple of girls (couldn't have been more than about 10 and 12) tried to step in front of me.

Now, I might be becoming invisible (early 50's here) but I'm certainly not inaudible. I told the girls I had been waiting, and it would be polite of them to wait till I was finished. The older girl politely, and with some deference, pulled her little sister back and allowed me through. I thanked them, and smiled.

Sometimes I think younger people just need to be reminded of their ability to see us older folks.

drmeow

(5,283 posts)
20. Mystery Men - Invisible Boy!
Sun Sep 3, 2017, 08:15 PM
Sep 2017

The Invisible Boy developed the power to become invisible after years of being ignored. There’s just one minor glitch: he can only be invisible when absolutely no one is watching him do it… not even himself. If anyone looks at him while he’s invisible, he loses the power.

http://www.writeups.org/mystery-men-kel-mitchell-invisible-boy/



Warpy

(113,130 posts)
21. Most women over 50 have the weird feeling of suddenly becoming invisible
Sun Sep 3, 2017, 11:51 PM
Sep 2017

and since it gets rid of catcallers and other street lowlife, it's very comforting.

The dog groomer idiot just didn't recognize anyone not holding a dog as human, I guess. I've been invisible in auto parts stores and audiophile shops but not recently.

Trueblue Texan

(2,925 posts)
27. Yep!
Mon Sep 11, 2017, 07:09 AM
Sep 2017

Apparently we all start to fade in our late 40s. By the time we reach 50, we're just barely visible.

Ohiya

(2,432 posts)
24. Do "The Walk"
Mon Sep 11, 2017, 05:10 AM
Sep 2017

My wife and will sometimes do "The Walk", (turn around and leave), if we are being ignored. The staff person may not care, and we are probably only inconveniencing ourselves, but it kinda feels good once in a while.

Croney

(4,924 posts)
28. Sure, we're seen if we speak up.
Mon Sep 11, 2017, 07:30 AM
Sep 2017

And I do, after I'm overlooked. I'm just always surprised when I'm overlooked; I wasn't as a young woman. I'm seeing the humor in it more and more. That helps!

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