Need some love: DU friend had 2 strokes.

[ellenrr]

a friend went into hospital for knee replacement, and had 2 strokes.
(she is a member here, but since I don't have her permission will not mention her name)
I actually met her thru this forum just one year ago, and we have been emailing since - every day, sometimes more than once a day.
She lives in another state, I have never met her in person, but we do talk on the phone.

so since the strokes, she can talk, I talk to her in the hospital every day.
She says the docs have said there will be no permanent effect.
Good news.
but it is strange talking to her, one moment she will be completely lucid, the next, she says things, words, that make no sense. And she cannot make sentences sometimes - she just stops.
So I tell her it is ok, not to worry.

then, on Tuesday, same day I found out about this friend -^, I was sitting in the lobby of the Senior building where I live, and there is an ambulance outside.
(a very common occurance)
and who do they bring thru on a stretcher but someone I know who we have just begun creating a friendship!
She is young, Not even 50 I would say. Very vital, active person. Interesting.

She was laying face up in the stretcher, her eyes open- staring up. I called her name. She did not respond.
I asked around the building, staff and friends, and no one has any info.
I left a msg on her cell, which not surprisingly she hasn't yet responded to.

first thing, I'm going to do when she gets out and recovers from whatever it is- is get the name of someone close to, that I can call in case of a situation like this.

it is awful to not know. I feel helpless, I want to ask her if she needs anything, I don't even know what hospital she is in,
and even if I did they won't tell me anything.

i'm 68 years old, and healthy (as far as I know). I'm active, I'm engaged in and with the world.

I feel like people around me are dropping left and right.
I know - at this age - it normal and common to feel this way.
But I don't like it!

thanks for listening to my lament

[tk2kewl]

1. .

[In_The_Wind]

2. ...

[LiberalEsto]

3. Hang in there, my dear

It's scary, isn't it?


I found out yesterday that a friend from college died suddenly this past Monday, Another from the same group passed away last summer. The rest of us are all around 63 to 65. I don't think any of us expected this so soon.

[ellenrr]

4. sorry to hear it.

yes, it surprises me when people die in their '60's.
I heard somebody say on the radio yesterday - they don't mind getting older -- but the losses are so painful.

I don't know - maybe we're supposed to get inured to death,
but I don't.

[Arkansas Granny]

5. I hope your friends make good recoveries. As far as losing people your age, I can fully understand

your feelings. I am 69, in good health and stay active. I live alone (with a cat) and still work everyday. I enjoy my job and the people I work with and I've seen so many of my friends and family just go downhill after they retire. I don't know if it's just that their health fails or if they just feel like they've lost purpose in life, but is scary watching it.

[ellenrr]

7. It's great you're still working!

I liked my job a lot (teaching adults) and when the program ended, I took early retirement cuz I couldn't find work.
I would much rather work than be retired.
I find that people who hated their job, enjoy retirement.
I volunteer teach GED, only two days a week, I still have a lot of time on my hands.
I miss having that connection to people that work provides.

[Arkansas Granny]

9. I watched a segment of "To The Contrary" with Bonnie Erbe last weekend that focused on older women

in the workforce. You might find it interesting.

http://www.pbs.org/to-the-contrary/

Today, among women 65+, 1 in 7 are still working compared to 1 in 12 in 1992. Predictions are that by 2024 that figure will be 1 in 5.

[ellenrr]

10. thanks I'll look at it. Of course

it makes a big difference if one chooses to work, and has decent pay, and decent working conditions -
or if one is marginalized and desperate and works as long as possible bec. there is no choice.
I remember seeing an article about people in their 70's and up - no health care, work in whatever they can, lousy jobs, lousy pay, it's a shame.

[ellenrr]

11. this is the article I referenced:

"Too poor to retire and too young to die"

“I want to live life as much as I can. Before I don't have any.”

She endures what is for many aging Americans an unforgiving economy. Nearly one-third of U.S. heads of households ages 55 and older have no pension or retirement savings and a median annual income of about $19,000.

A growing proportion of the nation’s elderly are like Westfall: too poor to retire and too young to die.

Many rely on Social Security and minimal pensions, in part because half of all workers have no employer-backed retirement plans. Eight in 10 Americans say they will work well into their 60s or skip retirement entirely.

Westfall hadn’t planned to keep working. But in 2008, as the U.S. economy spasmed, she lost her home and tumbled out of the middle class.

Today, Westfall is one of America’s graying nomads. Although many middle-class retirees ply the interstates in Winnebagos as a lifestyle choice, for Westfall and many others, life on the move is not as much a choice as a necessity.

...
http://graphics.latimes.com/retirement-nomads/?utm_content=buffer0b7d3&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=

[mainstreetonce]

6. I 'd like to add my support

I know how you are feeling. Through posting on similar boards I have made good friends who .I really care about and
I feel terrible when .I hear one is ill.

I will send my thoughts and prayers to you and your friends.

I try to read this board frequently and would love to get to know some of DU's great seniors better.

[ellenrr]

8. thanks for your good thoughts.

yeah, I like this senior forum, and wish it were more active.