Getting old stinks!

[TexasBushwhacker]

I've kept in touch with Henry, one of my mother's cousins, for years. He's 88 now and the last couple of e-mails I wrote to him, he didn't reply. I got a reply from his daughter in law today. He used to use hearing aids and he quit driving several years ago because of macular degeneration. DIL said they put him in a nursing home about a month ago. His grandson was living with him, but Henry had several falls. He also is now totally deaf and almost totally blind. They communicate with him by using a whiteboard. He loved his dog, Rusty, but now he can't have him.

He LOVED using his computer and kept in touch with people all over the country by e-mail. He even had a few international friends. He and his late wife were educational missionaries back in the late 50's and 60's in Afghanistan and Iran. He lived to paint and was quite talented. Such an interesting, happy sweet man. I asked his DIL how his health was otherwise, but she hasn't replied yet. Sad to say, but I'm kind of hoping his health isn't to good, because the thought if him wasting away, being deaf and functionally blind just breaks my heart.

[Curmudgeoness]

1. I keep hoping

that I don't live long enough to be in that situation, but one never knows. I also keep hoping that I might have the legal ability to put a stop to it when it gets to that point.

I am sorry that you have to worry about him. Too bad you are not close to where he is, but from my experience, that would not help the way you feel.

[TexasBushwhacker]

2. Some countries are much more liberal and humane

about right to die issues. There were identical twin brothers in Belgium who were deaf. The were 45, worked together as cobblers and shared a flat. Then they found out they were quickly going blind. They weren't ill otherwise, but the thought of never seeing each other again, being unable to work or communicate, was unbearable. They chose to end their lives with the help of compassionate doctors.

But Henry only lives a few hours away and I've been meaning to visit him for a long time. So now I will.

[Stardust]

3. I wonder if our country will ever be compassionate about right-to-die. It probably won't happen

in my lifetime, if ever. I would like nothing more than to be able to check out when I thought it was time.

[TexasBushwhacker]

4. Frankly, there may be some push back from

the medical community. Keeping people alive is very lucrative for some doctors. I'm with you though. I was my mother's caregiver for 6 years through her battle with breast cancer. The last 2 months were pretty bad. I would much prefer to be able to end my life peacefully, surrounded by my loved ones.

There's a really good documentary called "How to Die in Oregon".

[Stardust]

5. I'm so sorry about your mother--you were wonderful to take care of her Since I live fairly close

to Oregon, I may just have to move there when the time comes. Hopefully, I'll have have enough sense to do it by then.

I'll definitely check out that documentary.

My thought is, it's my life and I should damn well be able to decide when and if I want to end it. Fuck the medical community, IMHO.

[TexasBushwhacker]

6. I agree

Regarding my mother, it was the hardest and best thing I ever did. It cost me dearly, but I have no regrets. It's like being drafted. It's not something you want to happen, but when it does you serve honorably and to the best of your ability. You also find out who the draft dodgers are in your family!

[Curmudgeoness]

7. That is a lovely way to look at it.

I was lucky enough to stay with my mother for quite a while before she got sick, and she went peacefully at the end after only a month of being sick. Actually, she was dying and the hospital gave two choices---try all they could to save her or "help her be pain free until she died". We chose the latter and what they really meant was to pump morphine into her until her heart stopped. This was plain and simple euthanasia, but no one ventured the word. I was grateful since she had already been through so much. And this was not in a death-with-dignity state.

[TexasBushwhacker]

9. I'm sure this happens a lot

The problem is, by having to do it on the sly, they can't let anyone know and the family may not be able to be with their loved when they die.

[Curmudgeoness]

10. We were lucky that they gave us the choice.

And that they called to let us know we had to get back to the hospital right away. So we were there, but you are right...the family should all have the opportunity to gather and see their loved one go peacefully without pain.

[Curmudgeoness]

8. I hope you can move to Oregon if the time is right.

My uncle lived in Portland, and he chose to go that way. He probably could have lived another couple of years, since he was not in bad enough health to die, but he was immobilized and didn't want to continue to go downhill with no quality of life. It was only fair to give him that option. With a few states already deciding to give this option, it might not be that long before we all have options to die with dignity. At least we can now find a state to allow that.