My BFF from college is entering "assisted living" in a few weeks.

[no_hypocrisy]

We're both 67.

Is assisted living necessarily rooms, a wheelchair, and being drugged-up or is it more independent living with monitoring? She has early dementia and can't function on her own.

I'm asking as my aunt and my boss both entered "assisted living" and both ended up drugged-up in wheelchairs, unable to even communicate.

[marble falls]

1. Shocked. So far my experiance from family and friends in assisted living has been very different from ...

... that.

I haven't seen the poesy belted and drugged loved one in a chair model in decades.

There's usually a three tiered system: fully independent with a small apartment, partially independent with no kitchen, and fully bed ridden.

I'm sure your friend will be taken well care for. But keep your eyes open when you visit. We watch out for each other.

[no_hypocrisy]

2. Thank you. I guess she'll get the partially independent.

No kitchen. She can't even handle a Mr. Coffee machine.

[Siwsan]

3. My aunt was in assisted living. I think she was about 94 when she first went in.

She was an extremely high-maintenance individual and complained. A lot. The other residents I spoke with were perfectly fine with the facility and activities. The rooms were lovely, the food was good, and there were lots of activities. They had a full kitchen and family dining area on each floor so I was able to make nice birthday meals for her and invite the family.

I do think it is VERY important to have an advocate. Some of the workers could be a bit difficult, too, so I'd call the coordinator and set up a meeting to discuss any issues, about my aunt or about the staff. My aunt could be a handful.

[lark]

4. It 100% depends on the place, but you will still need to be very involved.

I'm horrified to read your description of your aunt and uncle's lack of care. Mom lived in an Assisted Living facility for 3 years - it was a Brookwood place. They have lots of places here and they were better than most, but not at the top of the scale - she couldn't afford that. It wasn't perfect, I had to talk to the Nurse manager several times because mom was confused and would talk to the wrong people, and not mention her issues to the right ones, causing her to go downhill when she didn't receive timely treatment. So once we figured out what was happening, there were no more issues. Mom learned to talk to the nurse too and how to tell the CNAs apart from the nurses. We learned that we had to follow up and ensure the nurses got the message and see if an appt. is scheduled. I really liked that they had a dr. that would come to their rooms if they signed up for a visit. It was very helpful dealing with mom's severe breathing issues.

That was 13 years ago when she went in, not sure how they are now?

[Joinfortmill]

5. My mother was in assisted living in South Carolina

She had a bedroom/sitting room/kitchenette to make tea, soup, etc. Residents ate neals in a dining room. There was a hairdresser, aids for needs like showering, drives to dr. apps., social activities. She really liked it. She had CHF and died after about a year there