Turning Off Your Cell Phone For Folks Born Before 1950.

[Smarmie Doofus]

Damn it. They're on to us.

From the New Yorker

>>>Good morning! As you know, this class is called “Turning Off (or at Least Silencing) Your Cell Phone for Folks Born Before 1950.” My name is Ryan, and I was born in 1979. Does that make me special? Not necessarily, but it does make me someone whose phone doesn’t play Henry Mancini’s “Baby Elephant Walk” every time someone calls. O.K., you guys are great. This is going to be a blast.

Let’s start with some places where it’s important to have your phones turned off. Hands? Yes, you in the green jacket. Stan! Yes, on the golf course! Great. Anyone else? Blue hat! Roger! Yes, the movie theatre! Stan again! Any theatre at all. Yes! O.K., let’s just shout them out. No need to raise hands. At an A.A. meeting. A chamber-music concert, terrific. Yes! At a family dinner. Yes, yes. A funeral. A bar mitzvah. These are all great places to turn off your phones. Wonderful.

Now let’s take out our phones. Yes, you in the pink scarf—Paula. Hello, Paula. You can never find your phone. Does anyone have a suggestion for Paula? She can never find her phone. Suggestions? A special pocket in her bag. O.K., Paula doesn’t have a special pocket. Another suggestion? She can put it in her jacket pocket. That’s a great suggestion. That’s where I generally have my—O.K., Paula, you don’t want to keep it in your jacket,>>>>>

the rest at: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/shouts/2014/05/turning-your-cell-phone-off-for-folks-born-before-1950.html?intcid=obnetwork

[MuseRider]

1. LOL.

Funny, kinda of, if it did not feel just a little real.

I actually use my smartphone all the time but if they had come out any later I doubt I ever would have been able to figure them out.

[elleng]

2. FUNNY,

and didn't even THINK of turning it off at the funeral I just attended. Lucky me, no one called!

And its BLACK, in my black purse, and can't see the damn thing!
and mine ain't SMART!

[dixiegrrrrl]

3. the unfunny part:

And, seeing as you are the last generation in the history of the United States to make more money than your parents, and also that Social Security will collapse after your deaths,............

[blackcrow]

7. Social Security will be fine

up through 2032, and would be fine permanently if the salary cap was lifted.

[angstlessk]

4. Am reading this in the voice of Bob Newhart

k&r

P.S. this describes me to a "T"

[SheilaT]

5. Love it.

A lot of young people I know (meaning Ryan's age or younger) only have their phones on vibrate, which is nice. They get their calls and there's no godawful annoying ring tone.

[Smarmie Doofus]

6. Mine went off in jury duty last month.

Right after they... the court officers.... made an ominous warning to TURN OFF all cell phones.

I thought it WAS off. I could have SWORN it was OFF. I tried unsuccessfully to turn it on to MAKE SURE it was off.

Now, I had two days before decided to add the voice feature.... from the menu or whatever it's called... so that it announces who's calling and... more importantly ... says the DIGIT out loud and clear so that you know you hit the right button on the touch screen when trying to dial out.

Anyway... it went off. Thunderously announcing the caller's name in the otherwise hushed courtroom. I fumbled around furiously, pulled it from my coat pocket , and began to frantically and indiscriminately press buttons.

It got worse. It was my son. "Dad?" ....."DAD?!!" ....... "DAD!" I had somehow ANSWERED the phone.

I got up from the voir dire (sp?) stumbled over two jurors between me and the aisle and ran out of the room.... which I wasn't sure was even "legal".

No....I wasn't picked for the panel. Lucky for them.