and some coffee
Honestly, I'm finding it difficult to keep on with the meal posts lately.
I won't get into the whole back-story of how I've reached the point where I am these days, but I will say that when I lose interest in cooking and talking about food, well, it's a HUGE loss for me.
We're gearing up to do our shopping and our monthly trip to the food pantry... and I've got so many feelings about these two outings that I feel frozen and completely depressed.
If I don't go... well, let's just say that I don't want to leave it to Al to decide what I'm going to cook with this month. If I do go and make suggestions,... well, let's just say that my suggestions don't seem to carry much weight (despite the fact that I do 95% of the meal preparation).
We have received an enormous amount of help from a lot of sources (and many kind people). But my assessment of how to make the best use of this assistance is very much ignored.
I had to change my attitude about food once--when I was morbidly obese and my life depended on my being able to make changes in my diet. I went from getting excited about EATING food to getting excited about PREPARING food. And losing my mother was the catalyst for my learning how to bake from scratch (my time to commune w/ her spirit). Now, I feel as I can't count on any of that anymore.
ok.... that's my pity party. If it seems like I'm not around much, you now know why.
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