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irisblue

(34,266 posts)
Mon Feb 27, 2023, 10:35 PM Feb 2023

Another person wants to cook in my kitchen

Yes I am a bitch about this, quietly like, so I'm here.


My nephew has a girlfriend, she seems nice, got a job, her kid is well behaved, calls me auntie I can go with this, nice kid. Debbie wants to make a cake. Flour, sugar, butter, cocoa, the usual stuff.
There is flour on the floor, some on the cupboard.

The 3 of them will be here till Thursday. I'm pretty sure nephew is showing her around before he asks her to marry,. I like them, just do not mess in my kitche

14 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Another person wants to cook in my kitchen (Original Post) irisblue Feb 2023 OP
ohhhh KarenS Feb 2023 #1
Politely let them know they need to clean up the mess. PoindexterOglethorpe Feb 2023 #2
After a while, I did most of the cooking for a few years. Tetrachloride Feb 2023 #3
Good luck, to you all! elleng Feb 2023 #4
Oh I hear you. MontanaMama Feb 2023 #5
How old is the kid? Barney - The Clean Up Song (SONG) cbabe Feb 2023 #6
This is the perfect time to set rules and boundaries BigmanPigman Feb 2023 #7
Oh no Duncanpup Feb 2023 #8
The girlfriend of my oldest son was a bit like that. Delmette2.0 Feb 2023 #9
So hand her the broom, a mop, a sponge, and a bucket Warpy Feb 2023 #10
My husband cooks like that Retrograde Feb 2023 #11
Nothing wrong with letting it be known to clean up Callalily Mar 2023 #12
Update on me sharing my kitchen. It went fine, by & large. irisblue Mar 2023 #13
Be sure to give her time to finish Marthe48 Mar 2023 #14

Tetrachloride

(8,448 posts)
3. After a while, I did most of the cooking for a few years.
Mon Feb 27, 2023, 10:42 PM
Feb 2023

Family was grateful.

You could “rent out” the kitchen to them.

One of my relatives even beat me out for cake master, partially because i wasn’t good enough at pie.

I was usually grateful for their efforts.

MontanaMama

(24,023 posts)
5. Oh I hear you.
Mon Feb 27, 2023, 10:46 PM
Feb 2023

You don’t have to tolerate a mess in your kitchen.

I make a ton of food daily in my kitchen…it’s a sacred space. Family can use my space but I’d better not have to pick up after them.

cbabe

(4,166 posts)
6. How old is the kid? Barney - The Clean Up Song (SONG)
Mon Feb 27, 2023, 11:06 PM
Feb 2023

Music always helps.

(anyone else have a fav song?)

Barney - The Clean Up Song (SONG)

https://m.

BigmanPigman

(52,259 posts)
7. This is the perfect time to set rules and boundaries
Mon Feb 27, 2023, 11:20 PM
Feb 2023

You just have to tactful. If you don't nip it in the bud now you will promote this ongoing behavior. This goes for both adults and children.

Delmette2.0

(4,262 posts)
9. The girlfriend of my oldest son was a bit like that.
Tue Feb 28, 2023, 11:20 AM
Feb 2023

I finally told her I want to continue to treat her like family, but she still needs to act like a guest and cleaned up after herself.

It worked.

Warpy

(113,130 posts)
10. So hand her the broom, a mop, a sponge, and a bucket
Tue Feb 28, 2023, 02:59 PM
Feb 2023

and offer to pitch in. A nice kid will accept a lesson on cleaning up afterward, I doubt she'll want a kitchen full of cockroaches and rodents. Do this gracefully and it will probably be accepted the same way, and nephew has to contribute, too, and not just supervise.

Retrograde

(10,653 posts)
11. My husband cooks like that
Tue Feb 28, 2023, 11:59 PM
Feb 2023

I came home one night to home-made brownies, and had to bite my tongue to avoid asking, why is there flour in the microwave and on the cat? OTOH, he does do most of the dishes, so I don't complain too much about tomato sauce splashed on the window sill.

If it's a one-off, I'd say "thank you" and maybe offer to help clean-up afterward to give her a hint.

Callalily

(15,013 posts)
12. Nothing wrong with letting it be known to clean up
Wed Mar 1, 2023, 07:26 AM
Mar 2023

the kitchen after a cooking session!

I know it's difficult to relinquish the kitchen - our domain. During the first year of Covid, I taught my SO how to bake bread. He has taken over all of the bread, specialty breads, rolls, etc. baking. Then we bought a pasta attachment for the Kitchen Aid. Yup, he makes homemade pasta that is delicious.

Every evening while making supper he asks if he could help, and in the past I always said no, not wanting to relinquish my domain. But lately I've taken him up on his offer, and frankly, he's a great sous chef and we have fun in the kitchen.

And in case you are wondering, he does help with the clean up.

To me it's a win-win situation.

Good luck with your future niece-in-law.

irisblue

(34,266 posts)
13. Update on me sharing my kitchen. It went fine, by & large.
Wed Mar 1, 2023, 07:29 PM
Mar 2023

I am a grump about sharing my kitchen. Debbie, the young un was fine overall. My nephew & niece to be seem happy, they move easy together.

Debbie & Steven cleaned the kitchen up, the cake was good.

Marthe48

(19,033 posts)
14. Be sure to give her time to finish
Wed Mar 1, 2023, 08:59 PM
Mar 2023

I'm a clean as you go cook, so by the time the food is cooking, the utensils are rinsed or in the sink, the counter is cleaned and wiped, and the ingredients are put away. The cook you graciously allowed in your kitchen might wait till the food is complete before she cleans up. If you are sitting around eating cake and the kitchen is still untidy, say something like 'the cake is delicious, please let me help you clean up the kitchen.' Or, if the cake is going out the door, say something like, 'Oh before you go, let's get the kitchen tidied up.'

You are patient and kind, and I hope it all works out

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