Pregnant at 49

[yellerpup]

I this is an essay that talks about a topic that is not usually mentioned in the debates about choice.

By ERIN KELLY

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/author/erin-kelly

I was pregnant the week of the Republican convention, when they ratified their platform regarding abortion. Pregnant and considering an abortion, and not one that would fit into any of the “exceptions” identified by many Republican politicians: rape, incest or to save the life of the mother. It was a more usual condition, an unplanned pregnancy at my age. But not because I’m a young teenage girl with my life stretching out before me. It was quite the opposite: I’m 49.
I was also considering how strange and fun having a baby at my age might be. I was considering the hilarity of an AARP discount and a newborn at the same time and the ironic outcome of our first vacation without our daughters. I was picturing how excited those teenage daughters would be. But I couldn’t tell them yet.
My husband, a lawyer, was bearing down on the “advanced maternal age” pregnancy issues and statistics like it was a federal case. There was very little for us to read and very little hope in what we found. Advanced maternal age begins at age 35, and the statistics end at about age 45 and they pertained entirely to in-vitro fertilization pregnancies, not the seemingly unheard of naturally-conceived pregnancy.
We could surmise that the odds of miscarrying were extremely high, as were potentially lethal complications for me like pre-eclampsia and diabetes if I stayed pregnant. There were also sobering reports on a propensity for a baby to have its own complications — a host of genetic disorders and birth defects that would disable it physically and mentally and should it survive those, we could still have an anxious wait for autism or schizophrenia to reveal themselves as the baby grew up. We were also high in the running for multiples.

[SheilaT]

1. And to the rabid anti-choice crowd

none of those risks matter at all. Just the "sacredness" of life.

Well, if some of those anti-choicers would put themselves on the line as willing to take in babies born with any of those defects, then I'd have a lot more respect from them. But it still wouldn't change the fact that they have absolutely no right to tell someone else they must carry a pregnancy to term.

[yellerpup]

2. The choice belongs to the sacred being

who is carrying the child. I was so happy to find this article--Erin Kelly didn't need anyone to 'talk' her through her choice, show her slides, probe her, or try to shame her for having sex. A friend of a friend decided to become a mother in her 40's and chose a sperm donor (she was and is single), she gave birth to three boys, two of them autistic and one normal. She's on suicide watch at all times. It's too much for her to handle. Every child should be wanted and no pregnancy should be forced.

[Iris]

3. On the other hand, the Republican platform also affects women who CHOOSE to wait until

later in life to have a baby.

[yellerpup]

4. Yes, they would restrict fertility treatments

and other therapies, including birth control.

[Pterodactyl]

5. Odd that SHE and her husband started the pregnancy, but seem mad at other people about it.

[Kath1]

6. Wow. Thanks for posting this, yellerpup.

I just read the article all the way through. This is another reason why I firmly believe that all women should have access to safe and legal abortion services,whatever the reason. I'll be spreading this around.

Thanks so much to Erin Kelly for having the courage to share her deeply personal and emotional experience.

[yellerpup]

7. The choice is still ours.

The PTB try to make it harder and harder, and they are....but we will not let it be taken away. I thought Erin Kelly's story wasn't the typical story, but then every story is different. I'm with you, keep abortion safe and legal for whatever reason.

[shiningseas1971]

8. I was a high risk pregnant mom of 39

and I don't like to tell women what to do with their bodies, especially at my age, but that's another story all together. I tend to look at this sort of thing a certain way. I am married, wasn't on birth control and neither my husband nor I had went to get fixed. I am catholic but don't attend church. The religion thing really has nothing to do with my opinions on this subject either. I realized the risks at my age in having another child, but my other pregnancies were uneventful so the OBGYN said that I probably had nothing to worry about. Everything went well until I was 28 weeks when I had to be rushed to the hospital for bleeding. I had developed a serious condition called Placenta Previa and it was complete. I had friends ask me if I was bleeping stupid. I just thought, are you kidding me? Who are you to say that to me! My son was delivered by c-section, medically necessary, a month early and was healthy. When I started this post, I didn't plan on saying all this. I read the whole article and thought to tell my story.

[yellerpup]

9. I'm so glad your son was delivered healthy!

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I don't know why your friends thought you were stupid and why they had to tell you so! Outrageous! The best part is that you and your son both came out okay. Welcome to DU!